STERNBERG’S THEORY LOVE TRIANGLE C I P

Robert Sternberg (b.1949) American psychologist Robert Sternberg wanted to distinguish between romantic love and mere friendship. After interviewing hundreds of men and women he determined that romantic love has three aspects: Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment.

COMPONENTS OF RELATIONSHIPS INTIMACY =The friendship or specialness of the relationship. The feelings of closeness, bondedness, connectedness, trust, and friendship in the relationship. PASSION =The excitement or energy of the relationship. The feelings of physical attraction, romance, and arousal (particularly sexual arousal) in the relationship. 3. COMMITMENT =The “business aspect” of the relationship. This includes all the shared investments, or the “history,” of the relationship, such as decisions, experiences, and adjustments.

Passion tends to develop very quickly in relationships, followed by a gradual deterioration over time. Intimacy tends to increase somewhat quickly at first, then tapers off, growing more slowly for a time before finally leveling off. Commitment always starts at ground zero and increases over time for the duration of the relationship.

8 POSSIBLE LOVE RELATIONSHIPS Intimacy, passion and commitment are the warm, hot and cold vertices of Sternberg’s love triangle. These 3 components of love can be viewed as comprising the 3 sides of a triangle, with Commitment as the base, and Passion and Intimacy comprising the upper 2 sides. Depending on how much of each of the 3 components is present, the sides of the triangle are often unequal. For example, in a brand new relationship, Passion is likely to be the longest side of the triangle while the Intimacy and Commitment sides are likely to be substantially shorter, thus creating an isosceles triangle.

EIGHT FORMS OF LOVE Alone and in combination they give rise to 8 possible kinds of love relationships.

1. Nonlove: All Sides Absent (No Passion, Intimacy or Commitment). STERNBERG’S THEORY LOVE TRIE All Sides Absent (No Passion, Intimacy or Commitment). Basically, this type of relationship is of just an acquaintance.

2. Liking: Intimacy Only (No Passion or Commitment). Feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bond. Can be summed up as having intimacy with one another, feeling close, & trusting one another. I

3. Infatuation: Passion Only (No Intimacy or Commitment). This tends to be a superficial relationship that is one-sided, where the couple are temporarily ga-ga over one another i.e. “whirlwind romance.” P

4. Empty love: Commitment Only (No Passion or Intimacy) This is most often an older relationship where the passion and intimacy have died…like “falling out of love.” C

5. Romantic love: Intimacy & Passion (No Commitment). This can be a blossoming relationship where the couple feel like friends but nothing more i.e. friends with benefits. Hooking up with your close friend without expecting anything i.e. summer fling. As experiences grow with one another, this type of love may develop Commitment. I P

6. Fatuous love: Passion & Commitment (No Intimacy). This is a feeling of love because the couple wants to be in love…but they really have little in common. This type rarely works. Emotional core is missing which is necessary to sustain intimacy. Example: Whirlwind marriage C P

7. Companionate love: Intimacy & Commitment (No Passion). Again, this usually occurs in older relationships where the couple remain best friends, but no longer feel passion for one another; might say that they ‘lost the spark’. This type of love can still be very satisfying and long-lasting. I C

8. Consummate love: Also known as complete love. All three elements of the triangle come together in a relationship. This is difficult but not impossible to achieve. Perfect relationship with strong emotional, sexual, and mental connections Most relationships strive for it but only very special relationships get here. C I P