Domestic Violence 95% of victims are women 25% of women report being physically assaulted or raped by an intimate partner Occurs at all levels of society but more common in lower socioeconomic level

Characteristics of Potential Batterer Unable to express feelings Physically or psychologically abused as a child Mother battered by father Known to display violence against others Commits acts of violence against objects, animals . . . things other than people Loses temper frequently and more easily than seems necessary

Characteristics, con’t. Has control issues Drinks alcohol excessively Unusual amount of jealousy displayed Demands time and knowledge of how time is spent Becomes enraged when advice is ignored Appears to have a dual personality

Characteristics, con’t. Sense of fear when he becomes angry . . . Does not making him angry dictate your behavior? Rigid gender stereotype roles Humiliates you in front of others Attempts to keep you from family and friends Forces you to have sex

Everyone has the right to live free from abuse. . . “I wish I would have broken up with him the first time he called me stupid. I see now he was trying to control every part of my life, to keep me afraid of changing things. It’s taken a lot to realize that I deserve a better life.” Quote from an abused woman

Emotional Abuse Emotional abuse happens when someone insults, humiliates or uses “mind-games” to control another person. May occur in 20% of all relationships Happens regardless of income, education and ethnicity Emotional abuse does not always lead to physical abuse but physical and sexual abuse almost always involves emotional abuse.

What are the Signs? The Abuser: Wants all the control. Discounts feelings and views. Confuses and frightens the partner. The Abused: Often can’t admit there’s a problem. May lose confidence or feel afraid.

If you are being abused . . . Don’t blame yourself. Refuse to be abused. Think about leaving. Think about your safety. Seek help. Healthy disagreements are mutual . . . Abuse isn’t equal! Children who see emotional abuse between adults are at risk to be depressed and become abused or be abusive later in life. www.etr.org

Sexual Violence/Rape Any time someone forces another person to have sex, it is sexual violence/rape! Most are women Acquaintance rape is more common than stranger rape. Many women don’t realize it is rape when someone they know forces them to have sex. Knowledge and preparation = Power

What to watch for . . . You can’t tell by looking but here are some warning signs: No real respect for women See women as sex objects Continue touching even when asked to stop Think violent behavior is normal Drink and use drugs Encourage women they are with to drink and use drugs

Drugs and Rape Rohypnol (“roofies,” “roaches,” “larocha”) Gamma-hydorxybutyric acid (“G”) Drugs cause sleep and amnesia. To avoid being drugged: Do not accept drinks from strangers or casual acquaintances. Never leave a drink unattended.

Protecting Yourself from Rape By Someone You Know: Set your sexual limits ahead of time. Be clear with the person about your limits and mean it . . .no mixed messages with dress or behavior Be alert for warning signs. Don’t go alone with someone you barely know. Have money and a back-up plan for getting home. Be careful of alcohol or other drug use. Do not be pressured into sex.

Date rape, by any other name, is still RAPE!!! Sex is not alright just because . . . He spent a lot of money on her. They have dated a long time. He is so aroused he thinks he can’t stop. She has had sex with him before. She says she will have sex but changes her mind. She led him on. She is stoned or drunk. She is wearing suggestive clothing.

Protecting Yourself from Rape By Strangers: Know your neighbors and watch out for each other. Don’t let strangers into your home/apartment/room. Be alert always! Stay on well-lighted streets with other people. Walk with confidence. Don’t leave drinks unattended. If possible keep a cell phone when walking or driving alone.

If someone attacks you . . . Try to stay calm and think clearly. Fight, scream or run away if you can. Don’t plead or cry. It probably won’t help. Trust your feelings. If you have to submit, remember you are not responsible in any way for the rape.

If you are raped . . . Remember you are the victim of a crime. Don’t blame yourself! Preserve all evidence. Do not shower. Get medical attention. Report the rape to authorities. Seek help and support Victims are never forced to file a law enforcement report even if Public Safety is involved UWG Public Safety – 770-836-6600 Rape Crisis – 770-834-7273 National Sexual Assault Hotline – Free and confidential 24/7 1-800-656-HOPE www/rainn.org

What is Sexual Coercion? It is being persuaded to have sex when you don’t really want to. Forms: Pressure Threats Flattery Put-downs Guilt trips/”owed” favors

Are you having sex when you don’t really want to? Do you feel pressure from friends or person you are dating? Do you ever feel like the person you’re dating doesn’t truly respect you? Do you want to have sex because you’re curious or just to “get it over with”? Do you feel like “everyone else is doing it”? If you have decided to have sex, do you ever feel bad or have doubts about your decision? Are there times you don’t want to have sex, but feel like you can’t say no?

Responses to Sexual Pressure “I really like you. I’m just not ready to have sex.” “If you really care about me you’ll respect my decision.” “I said no. I don’t owe you an explanation.”

Website Resources www.westga.edu/~health www.rainn.org Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network – hotline and on-line help & information www.abanet.org/ domviol/home.html www.gnesa.org/ (Georgia Network to End Sexual Assault)