Don’t Be A Bully Bystander By: Counselor In Training Hope M. Otto

What is A Bully Bystander? A Bully Bystander is someone who is aware of the bullying but may or may not do something to stop it.

Bullying doesn’t just hurt the people that are being bullied but also the people that are exposed to it.

For a Bystander to stop bullying we must first be able to recognize it Teasing Meanness Conflict Bullying

Teasing Meanness We are all having fun and laughing Nobody is feeling hurt by the words and actions. Everybody is participating and understands it is just silly and fun. Someone is hurt on purpose Reaction maybe a strong emotion like anger or sadness. Doesn’t happen on a regular basis, usually a one time event.

Conflict Bullying No one is having fun. We can find a solution to the problem when everyone is calm. Everyone is equal in power Someone is being hurt on purpose . IT is repetitive, it happens all the time. One person has power over another person. One person feels helpless.

Now Let’s Play a Game to help Learn The Differences. Let’s pass out some cards and decide which of the four categories they will fit in. We will go around the room. Each students will read the card and then as a team you will decide which category the card will go in.

Now that we understand what is bullying lets focus on being a bully bystander. Here is a book I want to share with you. Listen very carefully because I may ask you what you have learned. https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome- instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=say%20something%20by%20peggy%20moss%20video

Bystanders are kids and teens who witness bullying and cyberbullying in action, who stand by and watch, who videotape it and make it viral ... and WHO DO AND SAY NOTHING. Very often they don’t know what to do. They’re afraid of retaliation or fear that their own group will exclude them for helping an outsider.   When you’re a bystander it’s important to know that by doing nothing you are sending a message to the bully that their behavior is acceptable.   It isn’t!  And that’s not a message you want to send, nor is it a message you would want someone to send if you were a victim. Yes, it is scary to directly confront a bully and sometimes it can mean taking a big risk.

STAND UP! Whether you know the victim or not, there are things that you as a bystander can safely do to support the victim: Don't laugh  Don't encourage the bully in any way Stay at a safe distance and help the target get away Don’t become an "audience" for the bully Reach out in friendship Help the victim in any way you can Support the victim in private If you notice someone being isolated from others, invite them to join you Include the victim in some of your activities Tell an adult There is strength in numbers.  Every school and every community has more caring kids than bullies.

If you are NOT part of the solution, you ARE part of the problem! Unite, be empowered and speak out against bullying and cyberbullying! Together, you can STOMP Out Bullying – but only if you do something! When you see someone being bullied and/or cyberbullied and you help them ... you stop being a bystander and become an upstander! STAND UP for others! Be a Hero! Be a leader and STOMP Out Bullying! It's up to you ... It's up to all of us! You can change anything you want -- Why not STAND UP and change the way bullies treat their target

So let’s commit to being a bully upstander