An introduction to Restorative Practices and Conflict Resolution ‘Schools that work restoratively find that relationships are stronger and learning is more effective.’ Economic & Social Research Council 2011

Aims: What are restorative approaches? What is involved in a restorative approach to harm or conflict? What is being restored? What are the key elements of restorative approaches? Why are restorative approaches helpful?

The aim of restorative practices is to develop community and to manage conflict and tensions by repairing harm and building relationships PUNITIVE RESTORATIVE

Four Key Elements Social Discipline Window Fair Process Restorative Questions Free Expression of Emotions

Restorative doing things TO or FOR them Restorative doing things TO or FOR them. It is about offering High Levels of Support, whilst challenging inappropriate behaviour through High Levels of Control, encouraging acceptance of responsibility and the setting of clear boundaries.

Fair Process – the central idea ‘…individuals are most likely to trust and cooperate freely with systems – whether they themselves win or lose by those systems – when fair process is observed.’ Fair Process: Managing in the knowledge of the Economy 1997 Three core elements ENGAGEMENT – EXPLANATION – EXPECTATION CLARITY

Responding to conflict Helping a young person to de-escalate and return to their ‘baseline’ behaviour requires a variety of skills: Active listening; Behaviour support techniques; Strategies to reduce stress and risk; Emotional first aid.

Before entering any conflict situations, it is vital to at first assess yourself and then ask yourself these four questions: What am I feeling now? What does this young person feel, need or want? How is the environment affecting the young person? How do I best respond?   What is important about being in touch with our own feelings and responses in a crisis? What effect does our feeling have on our behaviours in a crisis? What does this young person or individual in conflict require? How can an understanding of this question guide us to a better, more appropriate response? How will meeting the young person’s needs help to de-escalate the situation? How is the environment affecting the young person or person in conflict? What elements in the environment might further escalate the situation? How can we modify the environment to decrease the stimulation? How will our response be more likely to succeed after considering the four questions? Engaging person in agitation Provide environmental support by managing the environment to neutralise potential triggers. Provide emotional support by engaging the young person. Exercise self-control over your own feelings. Anger can undermine objectivity. Anger is an emotional and physical state. Cognitive abilities are reduced.

Effects of Anger “When we are at our angriest, we are at our stupidest.” If we can identify the physical symptoms we experience when we start feeling angry, we can keep ourselves in check. We can change what we tell ourselves by looking at what the young person feels, needs and wants, and then thinking about the situation differently. We can create positive self-talk statements that help us stay composed and rational   Trigger (Behaviour) Thoughts Feeling Response

Post-Event Interview using Life Space Techniques Goals of the interview Return the young person to normal functionality Clarify events Repair and restore the relationship Teach new coping skills Reintegrate the young person   Steps to the PEI I – Isolate the conversation E – Explore the young person’s point of view S – Summarise the feelings and content C – Connect feelings to behaviour A – Alternative behaviours discussed P – Plan developed/Practice new behaviour E – Enter young person back into the routine.

The Restorative Approach

Restorative Questions 1: To respond to challenging behaviour: What happened? What were you thinking about at the time? What have your thought been since? Who has been affected by what you did? In what way have they been affected? What do you think needs to happen next?

Linking restorative questions to conflict resolution enquiries and learning Challenging those causing harm   Theme Question Key skills conflict resolution Story-telling What happened? Minimal encouragement. Proactive use of nonverbal communication. Thoughts, wishes & feelings What were you think about at the time? Verbal encouragement. Make judgement when to move to next question. Effect, affect & harm What have your thoughts been since? Open questions and reflection time. Allow for silence. Make judgement to move to next question. Who has been affected by what you did? Allow time. Listen to understanding connected to the actions. Use open questions. Accountability In what way have they been affected? Supporting gestures. Draw on key elements of previous questions. Allow time and reflection. Accountability & problem solving What do you think you need to do to make things right? Draw upon agreements and allow to reflect on the harmed person statements.

Restorative Questions 2 To help those harmed by others’ actions: What happened? What were your thought at the time? What have your thoughts been since? How has this affected you and others? What has been the hardest thing for you? What do you think needs to happen next?

Supporting those being harmed   Supporting those being harmed Theme Question Key Skills Clarity and reflection What happened? Encouragement to engage. Nonverbal communication skills. Thoughts, wishes and feelings What were your thoughts at the time? Verbal encouragement. Time for reflection. Judgement to move onto next question What have your thoughts been since? How has this affected you and others? Reflection What has been the hardest thing for you? Moving forward. Endings and clarity What do you think needs to happen next? Clarity of events, use statements from the perpetrator or wrong-doer. Allow time and space.

Why no ‘Why’ questions? Why? Implies: ‘ I have already judged you and found you lacking – I know what I think you should(n’t) have done.’ is a question young people often can’t answer – just as they often act with no awareness of possible consequences.

Free Expression of Emotions Restorative Practice is NOT just about the questions.  It is about a process that is seen as fair: allows free expression of emotions and significantly is about offering high levels of support, whilst challenging inappropriate behaviour through high levels of control, encouraging acceptance of responsibility and the setting of clear boundaries.

I am sorry that I misunderstood the situation ………… Affective statements – another way of saying ‘expressing your feelings’ Statements I am sorry that I misunderstood the situation ………… I feel really proud of you when I heard ………… I feel really pleased and encouraged that you made the right choice. I respected your honesty and thank you. I was very disappointed when you did that to….. I am upset and angry by what has just happened. I feel that (describe action) was very disrespectful.  

Why does a restorative approach work? The compass of Shame

Positive ways to deal with Shame: Talk about it Apologise Admit the wrongdoing Make amends Express feelings Make a commitment to change Ask for support

Restorative Practices in action This framework is based on sound learning theory regarding how people relate to each other and how best to meet the different needs that can arise from conflict or harm. To facilitate such a process requires the ability to: • establish a respectful rapport with people; • listen and respond calmly, empathically and without interruption or judgment to all sides of an issue; • inspire a sense of safety and trust; • encourage people to express their thoughts, feelings and needs appropriately; • appreciate the impact of people’s thoughts, feelings, beliefs and unmet needs on their behaviours; • encourage those involved in the problem to find their own solutions.

Using restorative practices A restorative approach can be used in a wide range of contexts: • A one way conversation, with one person listening and asking questions and the other talking (PEI); • A two-way conversation, with both people taking turns to ask and answer questions; • A small meeting when one impartial person - a facilitator - poses questions to two people who have had a difficulty, or where harm has been done, and who want to repair their relationship; • A larger, facilitated meeting involving children, parents/carers, colleagues or others who have an important role to play (sometimes called a ‘Restorative Conference’); • A facilitated circle involving part or all of a class or a staff team

What is being restored? This depends on the context and on the needs of those involved. What is being restored is often something between the people involved such as: • Effective communication; • Relationship, and even friendship; • Empathy and understanding for the other’s perspective; • Respect; • Understanding the impact of one’s own behaviour on others; • Reparation for material loss or damage. However, something may also be restored within an individual – for example: • A sense of security; • Self-confidence; • Self-respect; • Dignity. Overall, the process often results in the restoration of someone’s sense of belonging to a community (e.g. class, school, peer group or family).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfiGiA2bpoY

Building a Restorative School Start with ALL adults – agree some protocols to build a restorative community; Encourage positive affective statements (10 a day can transform a school); Build your community – RP circles for staff as well as pupils; Use the questions: practise them and model them; Involve wrongdoers and those affected together; Think explicitly about what we do as adults to build connections/relationships between ourselves; Model Restorative Practices and encourage each other to do the same; Be explicit with pupils, model RP and share the questions; Keep other members of staff in the loop when RP approaches have been used; Move gradually away from a ‘sanctions’ led approach to behaviour management to a Restorative approach.

The Iceberg Effect

Implementation What can you do in your practices to be more restorative? What can you do to help your school become more restorative? How can you develop a strong and sustainable collective approach to restorative practices? How might we work together as a local alliance of schools to become a restorative community?