Caring for the Caregiver “At the End of the Day Who Cares for the Caregiver?” Robert Leonard South Central Regional Director, NCBAM

There are only four kinds of people in the world There are only four kinds of people in the world. Those who have been caregivers. Those who are currently caregivers. Those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.”  ― Rosalyn Carter

A Typical Day In The Life of A Caregiver?? Wake Up Bathroom routine Dress Breakfast Medicines Exercise/Walk Down for morning rest Laundry Bathroom Lunch

A Typical Day In The Life of A Caregiver?? Doctors Appointment Back home to rest Afternoon Activities Dinner Bath Medicines Bedtime Clean up Are you Tired Yet???? At the end of the day, who Cares for the Caregiver?

Are You a Caregiver? Are you one of the 1.2 Million Caregivers in N. C. ? Are you one of the 15.7 million adult family caregivers caring for someone with some type of dementia? Did you know that 75% of caregivers in the U. S. are women? Did you know that families provide 80% of the long-term care in the U. S.?

Definition of a Caregiver “Someone who is responsible for the care of another person.” “An unpaid or paid person who provides help with the needs of another person.” “A family member or paid person who regularly provides direct care for another person.”

Who Needs a Caregiver? Sick or Handicapped Child Disabled people (Stroke victims, Accidents,etc) Cancer patients Dementia patients (Alzheimer's, etc.) Elderly parents, spouses Others?

Characteristics of a Good Caregiver Compassionate/Caring Patient Sacrificing/Unselfish Focused Protective Loving Others:

Back to Our Original Question At the end of the day, who takes care of the caregiver? (Which leads to some other questions) Why do we even ask this question? What are some signs the caregiver must be aware of? When should a caregiver begin to take care of themselves? How does a caregiver take care of themselves?

Why do we even ask this question? Caregivers tend to focus on others and not self, therefore they may and often do face burnout, stress, depression and/or physical, emotional and spiritual problems. Melanie Bunn states: “People living with dementia are doing the best they can, but the caregiver needs to do the best they can to take care of themselves so they can take the best care of their patients.”

Why? Two Main Reasons The well being, best care for your patient. Your personal well being, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

What are some signs the caregiver must be aware of? Nancy Mace and Peter Rabins, in their book, The 36-Hour Day, lists several emotional signs that caregivers need to be aware of. 1. Anger: angry that this has happened to you, angry that you have to be the caregiver, angry with others who do not want to help, angry with the sick person for their irritation behavior, angry that you are trapped in this situation.

What? 2. Helplessness: you feel helpless, weak, frustration because you can’t get answers, the situation seems to only get worse. 3. Embarrassment: the behavior of your patient around others/strangers who do not understand what is happening. 4. Guilt: it is common for family members to feel guilty for past behavior, treatment; for losing their temper, for not wanting this responsibility, for even thinking about placing them in a nursing home.

What? 5. Grief: you may grieve for the way they used to be. Grief is feeling a loss, that leads to being sad or discouraged. 6. Depression: feeling sadness and/or discouragement; feelings of apathetic, being anxious, nervous, irritable. 7. Isolation: feeling alone, facing this alone. 8. Worry: there are real worries, serious concerns; but there is worry that imagines and creates situations.

What? The 36-Hour Day also list several Physical signs: Fatigue: always feeling tired. Illness: being sick a lot for no apparent reasons. Burnout: a feeling of how can I go on, no more energy to do this.

When should a caregiver begin to take care of themselves? Carol Bursack, writing for Aging Care states: “When you have had enough, you have had enough. No one who is burned out is able to do his or her best to care for another person. Do not let this happened to you. Get help before you are at the stage where your loved one needs more attention and help than you can give.” “Do it now before you completely break down. Do it for your patient and for yourself.” “There is no shame in seeking help, nor should there be guilt.”

When? The 36-Hour Day states: “The sick person’s well-being depends directly on your well-being. It is essential that you find ways to care for yourself so that you will not exhaust your own emotional and physical resources.” When? Now is the time to begin taking steps.

How does a caregiver take care of themselves? Take Time Out: have regular times to get away, to have time to rest, just to do some things just for yourself. Build a support network: find others to help you: family, friends, church members. Give yourself a present: pamper yourself, buy yourself a present. Avoid Isolation: stay in touch with family, friends, find new friends, stay involved in outside interests.

How? Counseling: if you find yourself drinking to much, taking pills to get through the day, thinking harmful thoughts, crying or losing temper too much, begin to take out anger and frustration on the person you are caring for. Take care of yourself: physically (exercise, watch eating habits, get routine physicals, stay in touch with your doctor), emotionally (keep relationships strong, join or form a support group, reach out to others for resources and information) and spiritually (reading your Bible, maintain personal devotions, prayer, attend church as often as possible).

Recognize The Ten Commandments for Caregivers How? Recognize The Ten Commandments for Caregivers Be true to yourself. Know your limits. Make time for yourself. Know when to say NO. Know when to ask for help. Know when to get counseling. Have empathy not sympathy for the one you care for. Have compassion for both them and you. Enlist family support. Create support for yourself.

Recognize Reasons to Appreciate Your Job As A Caregiver How? Recognize Reasons to Appreciate Your Job As A Caregiver Sense of Accomplishment. A Rewarding Experience. Being There. Precious Moments. You are Forever Changed. Making a Difference. Marlo Sollitto, Aging Care

Learn to Lean on the Bible for Guidance How? Learn to Lean on the Bible for Guidance “Every caregiver reaches a time when strength, encouragement and inspiration are needed.” Lori Hogan, cofounder of Home Instead Senior Care, author of Strength for the Moment, suggests these Bible verses: If you feel overwhelmed: Matthew 11: 28-30 If you are wondering what God’s plan is in all this: Proverbs 3: 5-6

3. If you feel guilty about not doing enough: I Peter 5: 7 4 3. If you feel guilty about not doing enough: I Peter 5: 7 4. If frustration is getting the best of you: Colossians 3: 23-24 5. If you are afraid of what tomorrow may bring: Psalm 118: 24 6. If the person you are caring for is difficult: Galatians 5: 22-23 7. As your caregiving journey continues: Numbers 6: 24-26

To Sum It Up!!! Honor God in All you Do!!! “Remember you will be a much better caregiver when you care for yourself too.” (Madely Ashley, Senior Transitions) “Caregiving is the ultimate love. It is a selfless, generous thing to do, and one that many people wouldn’t think about taking on.” (Marlo Sollitto, Aging Care) Honor God in All you Do!!!

“At the end of the day who takes care of the Caregiver?”