Lecture 3: Effective Communications Training Effective Listening Lecture 3: Effective Communications Training

Communications Skills which Improve Listening Self-disclosure – open statements which reveal to others how you feel, what you believe & what you intend or would like to do Feedback – relating to other how you were affected by what other person said or did Active Listening – which combines paraphrasing, open questions & feeling reflection

Three Types of Effective Active Listening Devices Paraphrase - Restating what speaker has said in your own words Open Question - A question that helps speaker explore feelings (rather than forcing a “yes” “no'' or other certain answer) Feelings Reflection - your perception of speaker's feelings based on words, tone & body language

Reasons for Active Listening Avoid saying the wrong thing Dissipates strong feelings Helps other to accept feelings Generates a feeling of caring Encourages other to start listening back Increase confidence in the other Makes other feel important & recognized

Roadblocks to Active Listening Warning Judging Labeling Threatening Demanding Giving solutions Criticizing Name-calling Directing Lecturing Ordering Preaching Ridiculing Blaming Scolding Analyzing

Helpful Listening Tips 1 Listen to how something is said Be alert for what is left unsaid You can't hear if YOU do all the talking - Don't talk too much Listen with empathy - See the situation from speaker’s point of view -Try to put yourself in speaker’s shoes Do not prepare what you are going to say in response while the other person is speaking

Helpful Listening Tips 2 Be courteous-don't interrupt Take notes if you worry about forgetting a particular point Avoid stereotyping individuals by making assumptions about what you expect them to say - avoid your biases when you listen Listen carefully so that you will be able to understand, comprehend & evaluate what is said Use conscious effort - try to be aware of verbal & nonverbal messages

Physical Set up for Effective Listening Pick a quiet location Ask not to be disturbed Put the telephone on voicemail Remove distractions Create a comfortable atmosphere e.g. lighting, temperature, etc.

Mental Set up for Effective Listening Don’t prejudge Clear mind of other things Don’t formulate response while speaker is talking Listen for both content & context If not mentally ready to listen - reschedule conversation if possible

What is Feedback Only real means to check out whether message sent (expression) by speaker is the correct one received in mind of listener (impression) Allows for listener’s decoding process to be clarified so as to weed out faulty message received due to any of the listener’s inferences, intuition, & assumptions which might have clouded message being sent

Role of Feedback in Interpersonal Communications Brings about continuous improvement between people Corrects negative & reinforces positive behaviors Clarifies expectations Improves mood and morale in relationship Creates a learning process in relationship

Characteristics of Good Feedback Specific Timely Considerate Focused on behavior rather than personality Of the appropriate degree Goal oriented Can be acted upon by recipient Is understood & acknowledged

Facilitative Responses for Helpful Communications - 1 Advice or Evaluating – judgment of relative goodness, appropriateness, effectiveness, or rightness of speaker’s message sent Analytical or Interpreting –teaches or imparts insight & shows meaning to speaker Reassuring or Supportive – reduces apparent anxiety or intense feelings of speaker

Facilitative Responses for Helpful Communications - 2 Probe or Question – seeks additional information, provokes further discussion to query Summary or Clarification – understands correctly what speaker is saying or identifies most significant emerging ideas or feelings Understanding or Reflection – conveys to speaker that listener understands or “reads” how other is feeling – “This is how world appears to you”

Stimulus Questions How can effective listening affect the mood and morale in your interpersonal relationships? What is the role of feedback in improving effectiveness of communications in your relationships? How can effective interpersonal communications affect the bottom line of your interpersonal relationships?