A brief history of dating From “calling” to “hooking up”

pre 1920s: Calling The only socially acceptable manner for upper/middle class men and women to mingle was for the man to visit (or call on) the woman at her parent’s house and converse with her in the parlour (front room). Other than calling, couples could meet and express interest at chaperoned formal dances (“Balls”) In either case, dating was supervised by adults – this ensured that the social norm of chastity was upheld.

Pre 1920: Treating If “calling” was socially acceptable courtship, “treating” was the illicit form. Financially secure men would take working class girls to social engagements – the understanding being that the girls would repay them with physical intimacy (not necessarily sex). Men would commonly take women to amusement parks, movie theatres, or dance halls (for “tough dances”)

1920-1945: Dating Initially a working class activity. By the 1930s it became the dominant form of courtship. For high school aged girls, popularity was directly proportional to the number of boys you were dating (physical intimacy was frowned upon though). It was said that a woman should date about 50 marriage-eligible men before deciding on one. All dating was public – otherwise it had no social value. This is the beginning of the school dance as the major social event.

1945-1960: Going Steady Wwii caused a serious shortage of men in Canada (they died in battle). This meant that women who didn’t want to be left behind felt the need to marry at an earlier age. Going steady supplanted dating. Couples were now exclusive and while a couple was going steady, they would behave almost as if they were already married. The woman would wear some token to signify with whom she was linked (a class ring, a school jacket etc.) This would let the community know that the two people were serious about their relationship. It’s important to note that not every couple who went steady got married – but it signals the increased level of importance that was placed on dating.

1960-1990: sexual revolution & the women’s movement The invention of the pill (birth control) disassociates sexual activity with procreation. While this era is known as the era of “free Love”, very few people actually engage in it. However, many begin to see the dating ritual as artificial and would prefer to get to know their partner in a more informal setting – i.e. watching a movie on the couch. The women’s rights movement in the 1970s alters dating again – the concept of “going dutch” gains credibility. Focus on marriage diminishes, dating is now about spending time with somebody you value (not just a potential marriage partner)

1990-2013: hooking up & Internet dating The term “hooking up” first appears in the New York Times in 1993 and leads to widespread concern that teenagers are increasingly engaging in casual sex. In reality the term can mean a multitude of things – including something as benign as watching a movie together. The advent of the internet opens up new avenues for meeting people with similar interests. Smartphones apps have made finding potential mates in your proximity even easier (tinder etc.) Some have argued that technology is hampering people’s ability to interact with one another in a meaningful way, but the debate is far from settled.