PARENTING FROM PRISON BY FELITA HAYNES, PR COORDINATOR

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Presentation transcript:

PARENTING FROM PRISON BY FELITA HAYNES, PR COORDINATOR FOR DON'T FOLLOW ME INC

KEY QUESTIONS? A. How can you parent from prison? B. How can you stay connected with your child while you are in prison? C. How can you help them with the changes that have happen because of your incarceration?

ADJUST WHEN FIRST INCARCERATED HOW TO HELP CHILDREN ADJUST WHEN FIRST INCARCERATED A. Reassure them that you are safe. 1. tell them about your day. 2. describe where you live. 3. by helping children understand these factors, it will calm their fears about the safety of the inmate.

B. Answer any questions your children may have. Assure them that they will be ok. 2. depending on their ages, discuss how long you will be incarcerated.

C. Help arrange suitable and permanent housing for your children. D. write and talk with your children consistently.

DURING YOUR INCARCERATION A. find out as much as you can about their daily living. 1. how they are doing in school? 2. who are their friends? 3. what activities are they involved in?

B. Keep close contact with the children’s caregiver. C. Find out what the prison offers for parents in prison for their children. D. Read books to your children via tapes that you make and send to them.

E. Seek outside support for your children; teachers, spiritual counselors, or community programs.

DURING VISITS A. Be creative with children. 1. Play games 2. Read books 3. Tell stories

B. Before the visit plan fun activities. C. tell your children that you love them. D. Encourage your children to discuss their feelings with you. (Good and bad)

E. Be a good listener. F. Above all be patient. 1. Children have good days and bad days. 2. not all visits are going to go well. 3. regardless of the fact your children still love you and this should not affect future visits.

THINGS TO DO THAT WILL HELP PRISIONERS WHEN THEY ARE SEPERATED FROM THEIR CHILDREN A. Acknowledge your feelings- don’t shut down or be in denial of your feelings. B. Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal.

C. Make a list of your personal strengths how have you survived thus far. D. Talk with other parents who are incarcerated about their experiences- they may have a different perspective that will help you.

E. Create and use your support system- family, friends, or spiritual counselors. F. Learn as much as you can about child development and parenting from books and parenting programs in prison. G. Set realistic goals for yourself; things that you can do to involve your children and be a part of their lives.

MAINTAINING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD 1. Factors that influence the child’s reaction toward the parent in prison. A. their age B. their relationship to the parent prior to incarceration C. whether the child(ren) were living with the parent prior to incarceration

-D. The length of the parents prison sentence -E. The child’s feeling about the crime the parent committed -f. the stability of the child’s home life -G. How other people treat the child because the parent is in prison -H. Whether they are separated from their brothers and sisters

Emotional factors that affect children of prisoners A. Sadness, grief, depression, low self-esteem B. Confusion or feeling helpless C. Fear, worry, anxiety about safety for themselves or their parents D. Anger at the parent or the prison system

-E. The child may have a feeling of guilt because he/she feels that the parent is locked up because of them -F. Shame and embarrassment

Behavioral factors that affect the child OF AN INCARCERATED PARENT A. Withdrawal from friends and family B. May have problems sleeping C. May have problems in school D. Lying E. drug and alcohol abuse F. may get in trouble with the law G. may have developmental problems, especially with learning

What are the most important things a parent can do to help a child adjust to having them locked up in prison?

A. Make sure your child has a stable living arrangement B. keep the children together in one home C. choose a good caregiver D. make sure the child has enough emotional support from family, friends, teachers, and others E. have consistent and frequent communication