Chapter 5: Developing an Effective Parenting Style Mrs.Karen Swope Parenting Family and Consumer Sciences

Effective Parenting Strategies Parenting strategies greatly impact children’s behavior. Techniques that produce socially competent children also tend to prevent behavior problems. Effective parents set rules and enforce them. Effective parents support their children and meet their needs

Four Aspects of Parenting: 1. Nurturance: sensitive loving care and attention, unconditional love. Helps promote healthy self-esteem. 2. Behavior Expectations: having high but realistic expectations help guide children. Knowledge of child development helps parents have realistic expectations.

Aspects of Parenting cont. 3. Communication: is vital to all loving relationships. Effective parents need to be good communicators. 4. Effective control: all children need and want control, they need to know limits. Parents can control behavior using a variety of methods.

Parenting Styles 1. Authoritarian: behavior expectations are set very high. Parents give directions and child follow without question. Children rarely make decisions on their own. Parents expect obedience. Punishment is used to correct misbehavior.

Parenting Styles cont. 2. Permissive: parents allow children to make their own decisions. There are very few limits and few guidelines to follow. Expectations, communications, and control by parents are low. Parents feel giving children plenty of freedom is important.

Parenting Styles cont. 3. Democratic: communication between parent/child very important. Parents use certain limits but allow some freedoms within the limits. Parents set high behavior standards. Parents are high in nurturance. They take on the leadership role. Parents enforce consequences.

Which Style to Choose? Most families do not fit perfectly into just one style. Family’s culture may influence parenting style. Parents may raise their children the way they were raised. Temperament and personality of the parent may affect the parenting style they choose.

Which to Choose? Parenting experts favor the democratic style because of its high degree of nurturance, communication, expectations,and control. A couple’s parenting style clearly shows by the time a child is 3 years of age. Parenting style has a major impact on a child’s social competence.

Implementing Control: Positive Consequences Giving the child a positive personal message. “I appreciate the way you’ve picked up your toys”. Sticker chart for completing chores. Special privileges connected to desired behavior. Ex: bedtime followed Sun-Thurs, get to stay up a little later on Fri.

Negative Consequences Reduces the chance of repeat misbehavior. Children generally are afraid of the negative consequence. It is important to figure out WHY the child is misbehaving. Some children may misbehave just to get their parents attention. Parents need to punish the behavior and reassure the child that they are still loved.

Punishment Use punishment with care; the child must understand the punishment is a result of their willful actions. Parents should choose a punishment that fits the misbehavior. Parents should not overuse punishment, use positive ways of guiding behavior.

Natural Consequences Is the common result of the child’s misbehavior. This shows children that their actions can bring about consequences. Example: a child leaves their bike in the front yard overnight and it gets stolen.

Logical Consequences Adult planned consequences that show a direct link between misbehavior and the consequence. Example: child doesn’t put his/her dirty clothes in the laundry basket, child won’t have clean clothes when he/she wants them.

Implementing Consequences Parents need to issue the consequence in a calm, but firm, way. Following through with a consequence lets the child know there are limits. It shows the parent “means business”. When parents reward good behavior and provide consequences for misbehavior, children learn self-discipline.

Summary A major goal of parenting is to teach children the expectations of society. Socializing strategies focus on nurturance, behavior expectations, communication, and control. Three parenting styles include authoritarian, permissive, and democratic. Parents may use both positive and negative consequences.