ÅLESUND

What do children need in order to have a safe childhood and adolescence? Love Respect Safe limits Unconditional love Time Predictability Care Responsibility Accept All feelings/emotions permitted How are these tings in an alcoholic family???

4 COMMON RULES WHICH ARREST LIFE Don’t talk about it! Don’t feel! Don’t trust! Walk on your toes (Be aware of the sleeping bear)!

“My mother handed me a problem, I didn’t know what to do with it so I passed it on to my children.”

The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study Vincent J. Felitti MD, FACP , Robert F. Anda MD, MS , Dale Nordenberg MD , David F. Williamson MS, PhD , Alison M. Spitz MS, MPH , Valerie Edwards BA , Mary P. Koss PhD and James S. Marks MD, MPH

Our basis is that: Parents are the most significant persons in the children's lives Children are loyal to their parents All parents want only the best for their children In spite of this the reality is sometimes different

In an educational based group the Participants will have the opportunity to: Learn about dependency on alcohol, tablets and drugs Learn about how abuse and addiction affect the whole family The to meet another person with similar experiences Recognise and accept their own feelings and needs Learn how to get a better self- esteem, draw personal boundaries, make one self be heard and being able to express personal opinions

Referring to the problem list mentioned above, the most important methods in such an educational approach are: LISTENING EDUCATION STORYTELLING TALKING SHARING EXPERIENCES NAMING EMOTIONS

What may we do to in order to help? Accept that the problem do exist Get information about the problem Be aware of the children's behaviour Make the problem visible Don’t be afraid to make contact Speak openly about the problem Be brave enough to listen Tell the child that you will be there if needed Be a ”trouble maker”. Challenge politicians, the help system, the society You may be the difference that makes the difference!