Managing Dysfunctional Emotions

Managing Emotions – General Tips Even Positive emotions may have to be managed – Over confidence Preventing negative emotion easier than controlling them You are responsible for your feelings Be confident that you can handle it Deal with emotions early Identify, acknowledge, be curious Reduce Intensity (Pause) Impulse control – Delaying gratification

Managing Emotions – General Tips Change perception – Reappraisal, Denial, intellectualization, Reaction Formation Change the scene – physically leave the situation Shift your attention to other stimulus Calming mental construct Deep breathing and relaxing muscles Do something physical to relieve tension Constructive Inner dialogue

Managing Emotions – General Tips Do problem solving Change behaviour (act boldly) Change time frame (Regret, Boredom, Anxiety) Use antidote – Anger Vs Compassion Counter Conditioning (Boss -Anxiety)

Managing Anger Utility of Anger as an emotion Harmful effects of Anger   Self-protection Harmful effects of Anger   Heart problem Physical hurt Spoil relationships Expression of Anger   Vent or Suppress Various ways Gender differences Frequency of expression Intensity of Anger

Managing Anger Genesis of Anger Physical Symptoms of Anger Mostly Interpersonal Result of Thinking Absolutist thinking Violation of standard Feelings of Injustice Response to rejection or hurt Perception of threat body/ego   Physical Symptoms of Anger  Fight response Who makes you angry? Blame is the central issue in anger Protect yourself if risk of attack

Managing Anger Venting Anger with less intensity   Aim productive expression   Delay the response Calling time out Resisting impulse Deep breathing and muscle relaxation Talk it over, negotiate

Managing Anger Releasing Anger through other means Ridiculous fantasy – laugh Establish imaginary contact and then release your feelings Vigorous exercises/games Talking to others Release through writing Forgive and forget Do not store anger as resentment, hostility, hatred

Managing Anger Becoming Angry less often It is my choice   It is my choice Enhanced awareness – Diary of provocations  Change your interpretation  Analyze the threat perception  Seeing from other’s point of view  Being personally secure  Not personalizing  Being more flexible/open Stop trying to change the other person  Avoid perfectionism Having realistic expectations from self/others

Managing Anger Dealing With Other’s Anger Ask him to sit, offer a glass of water   Acknowledge other person’s feelings Listen attentively Avoid arguing and disagreeing Avoid being judgmental Watch your words Don’t raise your voice Don’t gaze at the person Don’t become angry Be patient

Managing Anger Respond to what they are saying, and not How they are saying Seek clarification, check expectations Understand his point of view/grievance Aim for containing the situation, not necessarily for resolution Regret, apologize Adopt problem-solving approach Express your point of view, re-negotiate.

Anger Management “ Anyone can be angry. That’s easy. But to be angry with the right person, for the right reason, at the right time and in the right degree is difficult.” - Aristotle

Anxiety Management Utility of Anxiety as an emotion   Defend ourselves Prepare ourselves for the future Spurs us to do well Harmful effects of Anxiety Affects immune system May lead to ulcers Insomnia

Anxiety Management Physical symptoms when anxious Genesis of Anxiety Uncertainty about something important to us Always in the future Fear of hurt or Loss   Fear of loss of Love Fear of loss of control – power, money, position, influence Fear of loss of self-esteem - fear of failure, being ridiculed

Anxiety Management Calm Down Admit, don’t deny anxious feelings Control anxiety at the initial stage itself Deep breathing & muscle relaxation Positive Imaging Positive Self-talk Slow and deliberate action Think of all the positive things in your life What is the probability of it happening

Anxiety Management Problem Solving Prepare Well   Three step process of Dale Carnegie What is the worst that may happen in this situation   Accept it   Improve upon the situation Focus on what you want to achieve and not on your fears

Anxiety Management Not getting anxious Enhanced awareness What is that I am afraid of losing Trust whatever life brings Take one day at a time Change the thing, which you can; accept what you cannot change Basic belief in yourself that somehow you will manage

Anxiety Management Let go off fantasies. It is a misuse of imagination   Avoid perfectionism Give up excessive desire to control Having positive anticipation instead of anticipating negative consequence Fix up a worry time

Managing One’s Fears Utility of Fear as an emotion Ensures our survival and development Harmful effects of Fear An infectious emotion Grows over time Lack of excitement, courage Leads to prejudice, hatred, cruelty and superstition Immobilized How do we manage it By running away from it – flight response

Managing One’s Fears Take safe risks Confront the fear Change the thoughts Act bold Use logic and facts Review your fears and outgrow them Increase the size of safe zone.

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