Making Informed Choices about Sexual Health Grade 7 & 8 Health Unit 3 Making Healthy Choices in Relationships

Healthy Living In Grade 7 & 8 the units in Health are: Making Healthy Choices Making Connections for Healthy Living Making Healthy Choices in Relationships

Unit 3 (May-June) Making Healthy Choices in Relationships Physical, Emotional, and Social Changes at Puberty Making Informed Choices about Sexual Health Communicating Clearly Identifying Sexually Transmitted Infections Sexual Health and Safety Factors that Contribute to Healthy Development

2. Making Informed Choices about Sexual Health #1 explain the importance of having a shared understanding with a partner about the need to communicate clearly with each other when making decisions about sexual activity in the relationship

2. Making Informed Choices about Sexual Health #2 demonstrate an understanding of physical, emotional, social, and psychological factors that need to be considered when making decisions related to sexual health.

Before we begin… Ask questions as you have them and/or write them down and hand them in at the end of each topic Everyone hands in a piece of paper with a question on it at the end of every topic. (If you don’t have a question, write a line or two from a song or poem.) GROUND RULES…

GROUND RULES Giggling is okay - this can be embarrassing for you. Respect what other’s say; no put-downs. Okay to pass, i.e., not answer a question. Understand other’s feelings - be sensitive and respect their differences. No personal questions or stories from student or teacher. Discuss puberty topics responsibly outside the classroom.

GROUND RULES Remember - there are no dumb questions, only questions that need answers. Use correct names for body parts - ask if you can’t remember. Let the teacher know if you want to speak to him/her privately. Expect the teacher to respect confidentiality except if she/he is required by law to disclose information, e.g., sexual abuse. Speak for yourself; use “I” statements and don’t point at others.

Making Informed Choices about Sexual Health Love and sex will happen! Instead of telling you what to do (or not to do)… We want you to have as much information as you can so that you can make appropriate decisions for you as circumstances arise. No matter what, do not rush into things!

Changing Relationships Friends that are boys Friends that are girls Crushes Liking someone Falling in love Showing and/or telling someone you like them “Going out” Remaining inclusive Break-ups

Making Informed Choices about Sexual Health Some males think about females and kissing and touching Some females think about other females and kissing and touching Some females think about males and kissing and touching Some males think about other males and kissing and touching Some males and females don’t think about any of this stuff

Definitions What is “sex”? Sexual Activity Sexual Consent Oral Sex Vaginal Intercourse Anal Intercourse Abstinence Sexual activity: Any voluntary sexual behaviour including but not limited to: kissing, massages or touching, oral sex, and anal or vaginal intercourse. Sexual Consent: The voluntary agreement to engage in the sexual activity in question. Silence or passivity in terms of sexual activity does NOT equal consent. Oral sex: Using one’s mouth on another person’s genitals or anus for sexual pleasure. Vaginal intercourse: Penetration of another person’s vagina. Anal intercourse: Penetration of another person’s anus. Abstinence: a conscious decision to refrain from a behaviour or activity. The Ontario Curriculum, uses this term in reference to abstinence from all forms of sexual intercourse and sexual activities.

Physical and Emotional Factors Associated with Sexual Activity “Having sex” (in any of its forms) can be an enjoyable experience and can be an important part of a close relationship. If someone decides they are ready and comfortable to have sex they need to be aware of some of the possible risks involved, including physical risks like sexually transmitted infections and/or getting pregnant when they don’t want to, and emotional risks like application of self- awareness or coping skills after a sexual activity or relationship decision.

Physical and Emotional Factors Associated with Sexual Activity Being fully informed about safe sex and contraception methods and having open and honest communication with their sex partner is the best way to minimize risks. And if they are unsure or hesitant after they learn more, choosing to delay sexual activity is one way to ensure they avoid these risks.

Physical and Emotional Factors Associated with Sexual Activity Generate a list of factors that influence decision making related to sexual health. Religious beliefs Family and personal values Knowing yourself - what makes you feel good Concern about avoiding pregnancy and STIs Whether you are physically ready Emotional readiness

Physical and Emotional Factors Associated with Sexual Activity Sexual orientation Gender identity Need for more time to think Personal decision-making skills Ability to communicate with others Desire Curiosity Pressure or expectation from partner Other?

Physical and Emotional Factors Associated with Sexual Activity When making decisions related to sexual health, you need to consider whether the factors you listed above affect your physical, emotional, social, and/or psychological well- being. Place each of the factors from above into one of these categories. Social Emotional Psychological

Agree, Disagree, or Not Sure There is no right or wrong answer to these questions. Do not judge others for their responses to these questions. “Grade 7 or 8 is the right age to start dating.” “If someone doesn’t like you, there are things you can do to make them change their mind and you should persist until they feel the same way.” “Family values influence how you think about sexual activity.”

Agree, Disagree, or Not Sure “If someone agrees to engage in sexual activity, but passes out, it is OK to still engage in sexual activity with them.” “Religious beliefs should influence how you think about sexual activity.” “People don’t need a vaccination for HPV if they are not sexually active.” “Some types of sexual activity have more risks than other types.”

Agree, Disagree, or Not Sure “A person should not have sex if their partner is unsure.” “Oral-genital contact is not ‘having sex’.” “People of all gender identities and sexual orientations need to learn how to stay safe and healthy in relationships.”

Road to Romance As we discuss the placement / order of various factors “on the road to romance”, be mindful that your views may not be the same as someone else’s and that’s okay! Be respectful of each others’ values and opinions, and feel free to engage in discussion with each other to better understand the other’s point of view.

Road to Romance Take the stack of behaviour cards and put them in order starting with the activity they think should come first in an intimate relationship. It is ok if you do not wish to include all the cards. Why have you placed each card in the location you did?

Road to Romance One at a time, flip over each relationship card and decide where one should stop, slow down, and proceed with caution in each type of relationship. Why have you placed each sign in the location you did?

Road to Romance One at a time, flip over each outside factor card and discuss how each item could/would affect sexual activity.

Age of Consent for Sexual Activity In 2008, the legal age of consent in Canada was raised from 14 years of age to 16 years of age. The criminal code does contain a “close-in-age” exemption, which was added so that teens who do engage in sexual activity are not breaking the law. See the age chart on the next page, but in all cases, the older partner must not be in a position of trust or authority over the younger teen and the relationship is not exploitative.

Age of Consent for Sexual Activity Under 12 years of age Consent is illegal 12 and 13 years Consent is illegal unless partner is less than two years older* 14 and 15 years Consent is illegal unless partner is less than five years older* 16 – 18 years Consent is legal unless they are involved in exploitative sexual activity. Under 18 years: Anal Sex Consent is illegal, unless in heterosexual marriage** *and not in a position of trust or authority over the younger teen and the relationship is not exploitative **currently before parliament to be repealed

Making Informed Choices about Sexual Health Tea consent video

Showing Affection It’s all about respect Think about appropriate times and places Go slowly You need permission for everything, every time No means no, no matter when or for what! Do not spread rumours or make fun of anyone to get attention NEVER take or share photos – even if someone “agrees” *It is illegal to take, download, share, etc. photos of partially or completely undressed people (including yourself!) that are under 18

QUESTION TIME! Everyone hands in a piece of paper with a question on it. (If you truly don’t have a question, write a line or two from a song or poem.)