Observing and Reflecting Feeling CHAPTER 7 Observing and Reflecting Feeling

Microskills Hierarchy Reflection of feeling Encouraging, paraphrasing, and summarizing Client observation skills Open and closed questions Attending behavior Ethics and multicultural competence

Reflection Mirrors essence of helpee’s communication Includes saying what is expressed both explicitly and implicitly Incorporates what helpee says (actual words) how helpee says them (nonverbal and subvocal like speech tempo, voice pitch, hesitations) physical aspects (gestures, eye and facial expressions, body posture, movement)

Reflecting Feeling Template Sentence stem (I hear you) using helpee’s name or pronoun you Name the feeling or feelings Because (context) Use here and now not there and then Check out (a big maybe) Pat, I hear you saying you feel stuck right not because the job seems overwhelming.

Four Emotional Orientations Sensorimotor – experience feelings rather than naming them or reflecting on them Concrete – feelings are named Abstract formal-operational – reflects on emotions Abstract dialectic/systemic – effective at analyzing emotions and emotions will change with context

Expressing and Exploring Mixed Feelings Look for differences between what helpee says and does Use words like “confused,” “conflicted,” “upset,” “worried” Bringing mixed feelings into awareness is first step in allowing helpee to “work through” discrepancies

Acknowledging vs. Reflecting Stating the obvious and then moving on with content Helpee yawns so you say, “You seem tired.” Goal is not further exploration of feelings Stating both the obvious and underlying Helpee describes something as “no big deal” but has tears so you say “It appears that this is really hurtful.” Goal is to further explore emotions

Diversity Cultural norms may dictate that feelings are private Men may believe that expression of some feelings is “unmanly.”