OVERVIEW

The Thriving Parent Marriage / Child Relationship The most important relationship for learning how to relate to others in all the roles in life is the marriage of one’s parents. Children thrive on the relationship between their parents. I learned this in my first years as a therapist when I treated many children in their middle childhood (from 5 to 10) who were referred to me by physicians. Being young and inexperienced I was very careful in assessing each child. By the end of the first year I became convinced that the children’s symptoms were in reaction to their family situation. In my second year I began study and training in family therapy and by the third year I had settled into a pattern: I would not see the child till I could see the whole family including father (almost all families were intact back then in the early 1970s in Canada where I worked). I would work with the family till the parents trust in me grew enough that I could peel them off and work on the issues that divided them. In 95 percent of the cases I did not have to do anything with the child … he or she got better “spontaneously”. When the parents are united the children thrive.

The Non-Thriving Marriage / Child Relationship When parents are in conflict children suffer and don’t grow as well as they should . They do not learn as well. They are more anxious, more depressed, less friend, more aggressive or less cooperative.

Annual Rejection Ratio: For Every 100 Children Born Sources: CDC/ NCHS report series 100.0 90.0 Index of ~ 80.0 70.0 60.0 Divorce 50.0 40.0 30.0 20.0 10.0 There are five major institutions in society: The Family The Church (Synagogue or Temple) The School (Grade School, High School, University and Media) The Government The Marketplace (The Economy) In which five major tasks are accomplished: Begetting and forming the next generation Dealing with transcendent truths Learning and teaching Using physical force (locus of power) for the common good Taking care of material needs through exchange of goods and services OWB 0.0 1950 1955 1960 1965 1970 1975 1980 1985 1990 1995 1998 2000

“Rejection/Ambivalence Ratio” for Every 100 Children Born 70 Children Aborted Children of Divorce 60 Children born out of Wedlock 50 40 30 20 10 1950 1954 1958 1962 1966 1970 1974 1978 1982 1986 1990 This chart illustrates a Rejection Ratio that includes abortion, for which reliable numbers became available in the late 1960’s. The black bars indicate the abortion ratio. By the year 2000, we can say that for every 100 children conceived, only about 28 reach age 18 living in an intact family with the mother and father who brought them into existence. America has formed for itself a culture of deep rejection. It has become an extraordinarily dangerous place for children: 72 out of every hundred now experience serious rejection: abortion, out of wedlock birth or the divorce of their parents. Source: National Center for Health Statistics data and Alan Guttmacher Institute data

International Rejection Ratio 100 90 U 80 S 70 A 60 50 40 30 20 10 Taiwan China Croatia Japan Slovakia Portugal Georgia Lithuania Slovenia Canada Finland France Denmark Sweden Uruguay Macedonia Jamaica New Zealand Switzerland Netherlands United States El Salvador Czech Republic New Calcedonia Families are the building blocks of our society. When rejection occurs in the family, especially between the parents when they separate or divorce, the mental health of children is affected. Serbia and Montenegro

Number of Non-Marital Sexual Partners Versus Percent in an Intact Marriage Source NSFG 1995 Here is the impact --- in the natural order outside of grace --- of monogamy on the stability of marriage. The first bar is the woman who has never had sexual intercourse outside of marriage (0 partners outside of marriage). 80% of such women in the United States have stable marriages … stay united to their husbands. The rest of the chart tells the rest of the story: the more sexual partners the more likely they are to divorce. Even having one partner brings the rate of divorce very close to one in two chances (54 %).

The More Sexual Partners the More Likely to Abort Source NSFG 1995 60 52 50 43 39 40 34 31 Percent who have abortions later 30 25 19 20 18 12 10 8 1 2 3 4 5 6-10 11-15 16-20 21+ NUMBER OF NON MARITAL SEXUAL PARTNERS IN LIFETIME

Non-Marital Sexual Partners and Out-of-Wedlock Births Source: CDC, National Center for Health Statistics, National Survey of Family Growth, 1995 60% 55.21% 49.45% 49.99% 49.89% 50% 47.55% 44.02% 42.66% 40.02% 40% 32.89% Percent of Sexually Active Women Aged 15-44 with Children 30% 20% 16.29% 10% 1.71% 0% Virgin at Had Pre- 1 2 3 4 5 6-10. 11-15. 16-20 21+ The culture is all about how we belong to each other at different levels and in different ways. At the heart of culture is ‘cult’ …the practice of worship of God. All the following data is from the Federal Government’s own survey. Time of Marital Sex First with First Marriage Husband Number of Lifetime Voluntary Non-Marital Sexual Partners

Non-Marital Sexual Partners And Single Motherhood Source: CDC, National Center for Health Statistics, National Survey of Family Growth, 1995 60% 56.98% 53.07% 50.30% 50% 48.13% 47.03% 44.16% 38.81% 40% 36.48% 30.21% Percent of Sexually Active women Aged 15-44 with Children 30% 20% 10% 7.09% The culture is all about how we belong to each other at different levels and in different ways. At the heart of culture is ‘cult’ …the practice of worship of God. All the following data is from the Federal Government’s own survey. 0% 1 2 3 4 5 6-10. 11-15. 16-20 21+ Number of Lifetime Non-Marital Sexual Partners

Virginity By Family Structure Source Add Health, 1996 This chart looks at the rates of teenage virginity by family structure and includes adopted and foster children. Again, we see the same pattern emerging: the more stable belongingness in the family history, the greater the level of virginity. In this chart, we see also the dramatic difference between adopted children and foster care children. Both of these groups of children come from troubled backgrounds but are treated very differently. Children adopted early into intact, married families, are more likely to keep their virginity as illustrated here. Prior to adoption, the parents are screened not only for financial resources but also for the level of belongingness. The adopted infant comes into a family full of a desire to belong to the child. Hence, the great outcomes. By contrast, the foster child more frequently experiences many moves and many experiences of rejection. Hence, the awful outcomes. Adopted children have the highest levels of virginity, and foster children have the lowest. There is a clear correlation between belongingness and rejection and levels of virginity.

Father Rated Warm and Loving Source: National Longitudinal Survey of Adolescent Health Wave 2, 1996 This chart illustrates the significance of teenagers’ judgment that their father is warm, loving and cares for them. The child in an intact, married family is 12 times more likely to experience warmth and love from her father than is a child in the always-single parent family, 7 times more likely than a child of divorced parents, 3 times more likely than a child of cohabiting parents, and 1.5 times more likely than a child in a stepfamily. There are clear implications from this data for levels of virginity in different family structures, as the next chart illustrates.

Female Homosexuality

OWB

% FAMILY STRUCTURE DISTRIBUTION AT FIRST BIRTH (women 15-44) : United States, 2002 (NSFG) With NSFG data, we can look at formal and informal marital status at pregnancy outcome (and conception). This chart shows information on women’s 1st births: --- ¾ of 1st births to NH white women occurred within marriage --- that many (3/4) of 1st births to NH black women were nonmarital --- among nonmarital 1st births to Hispanic women, about half were within cohabiting unions Data look very similar for males. Female respondent file or pregnancy file

MARRIAGE

Percentage of men 22-44 years of age who have ever cohabited or are currently cohabiting, by education: United States, 2002 Male file

Probability of first marriage for men and women 15-44 years of age, by age : United States, 2002 Female respondent & male files

DIVORCE

Here is a much later that impact of father on the early virginity of his children. The teenager who has given up her virginity before marriage is likely no longer among those women who are monogamous (one sexual partner for life). This chart, one of the most important in the social science of the family, shows the impact the lifetime experience of cumulative numbers of sexual partners. The first bar is the woman who has never had sexual intercourse other than with her husband (0 partners outside of marriage, or monogamy). 80% of such women in the United States have stable marriages … stay united to their husbands. The rest of the chart tells the rest of the story: the more sexual partners the more likely they are to divorce. Even having one partner brings the rate of divorce very close to one in two chances (54 %). Every teenager needs to know of this impact on their own later marriage life and on the life of their children and grandchildren. Given this it is no wonder that well functioning societies have very strong taboos around sexual conduct. Such taboos protect children, grandchildren, the stability of society and its human and social capital.

ABORTION

The More Sexual Partners the More Likely to Abort Source NSFG 1995 60 52 50 43 39 40 34 31 Percent who have abortions later 30 25 19 20 18 12 10 8 1 2 3 4 5 6-10 11-15 16-20 21+ NUMBER OF NON MARITAL SEXUAL PARTNERS IN LIFETIME

ECONOMIC CONSEQUENCES

Children in Poverty, 2000 67 Percent In Poverty 41 39 31 13 12 80 67 70 60 50 Percent In Poverty 41 39 40 31 30 20 12 13 10 The issue of belonging, rejection, and indifference, is powerfully illustrated in this chart of the percentage of children in poverty by family structure. Each label on the different family structures is a shorthand history of belonging, rejection, or indifference within the family. The lowest level of poverty is in the always-intact family (12 percent), where the parents have always belonged to each other and to their children. The real picture is probably even better for many intact families are graduate students whose income is very low but about whom no one is really worried for they are on their way to a middle class income. The next family structure, the stepfamily, is in a similar situation with 13 percent in poverty. Here, the parents and children belong to each other, but normally in the history of this family there is serious rejection (divorce) for at least one of the parents or rejection originating with an out-of-wedlock birth. The level of poverty in the divorced, single parent family is much higher at 31 percent. This form of the family is fractured by the parents’ rejection of each other. The next highest level of poverty is amongst cohabiting parents who are characterized by ambivalence about their future with each other (39 percent). The separated, single-parent family has a similarly high level of child poverty at 41 percent. Finally, the always-single mother family has the highest level of child poverty at 67 percent. This is the family structure where the father has never belonged to the mother nor fully to his children. Data such as this shaped the welfare reform debate of 1994-1996. FIRST MARRIAGE SECOND(+) MARRIAGE DIVORCED COHABITATION SEPARATED NEVER MARRIED

Source R Rector: Analysis of CPS 2001 Children in Poverty Unmarried Parents Same Parents Married 3.17 Million Children 3.93 Million Children Out of Poverty In Poverty Using the Current Population Survey, a major survey of the Bureau of the Census, this chart illustrates the potential impact of marriage on the level of poverty. The red column on the left represents all the children in poverty in single parent families (the vast majority of children who are in poverty). The blue and red column on the right represents the impact that the marriage of the fathers to their mothers in which both incomes are combined. Were the fathers of children in poverty married to the mothers of their children, 81 percent of tall these children would be lifted out of poverty. This massive drop is achieved without the impact of the next chart, which, in real life, would have yet another significant impact. 0.75 Million Children Source R Rector: Analysis of CPS 2001

Marriage Premium in Male Income Source Antovics, K. & Town, R. Am Econ Review V 94, (2004) pp 317-321 $127 140 $100 120 100 80 Comparative Income % 60 $27 The earnings capacity of men increases significantly with marriage as this chart illustrates. This chart illustrates a study that culminates a series of research projects which went about isolating the effect of marriage on men’s earning power. Controlling for all other factors (even genetics --- using monozygotic twin studies) men who are married increase their earning power by 27% in general. The preceding slide which showed the effect on child poverty of fathers being married to the mothers of their children did not inlcude this effect but used only the earnings of the fathers, not the increased income they would have earned had they decided to marry the mother of their children. Should that have been the case, nearly every child would have been lifted out of poverty. + = 40 20 Average Unmarried Male Premium Average Married Male

Yearly Income, 2000, Families With Children Note: Figures do not include transferred income $60,000 $54,000 $50,000 $50,000 $40,000 $30,000 . $30,000 $23,000 $20,000 $20,000 $9,100 $9,400 $10,000 $0 First Marriage Second(+) Cohabitation Divorced Separated Widowed Never Married Marriage

Median Net Worth of Families With Children Under 18, 2000 Source: Survey of Consumer Finance, 2001 $140,000 $120,250 $120,000 $105,360 $100,000 $80,000 $60,000 $40,000 $27,800 $20,540 $16,540 $14,850 $20,000 $350 $0 First Marriage Second(+) Divorced Widowed Cohabitation Separated Never Married Marriage

GPA English/Math by Family Structure Source: Adolescent Health Survey, Wave I. Adolescents grade 7-12. 2.90 2.9 2.80 2.70 2.6 Average GPA Enligsh/Math Combined 2.6 2.6 2.60 2.5 2.5 2.50 2.40 2.30 INTACT STEP COHABIT (BOTH COHABIT (ONE DIVORCED NEVER MARRIED NATURAL) NATURAL)

GPA (English & Math) by Religious Practice Source: Adolescent Health Survey, Wave I. Adolescents grade 7-12. 2.90 2.9 2.85 2.80 2.8 2.75 2.70 2.7 Average GPA Enligsh/Math Combined 2.65 2.6 2.60 2.55 2.50 2.45 WEEKLY+ MONTHLY+ <MONTHLY NEVER

GPA Who does best in school ? This is a snap shot of the teenagers of the whole United States. And we are looking at their combined Math and English scores. College professors and employers take note. Where will your best and brightest come from? Where is the strong culture? And it is related to monogamy.

BIRTHS

Percent distribution of births in the last 5 years to men and women 15-44 years of age, by wantedness of the child at the time of conception: United States, 2002 Female pregnancy file and Male file

FERTILITY

Percent of women aged 22-44 who are childless and percent who have 3 or more children ever born, by education: US, 2002 Percent childless Percent with 3 or more children Highest education attained Female respondent file

Percent of males who have ever fathered a child, by age: US, 2002 Male file

Impaired fecundity compared with 12 month infertility among married women 15-44: US, 1982-2002 Percent AC 7/10 – NSFG provides 2 measures of fertility impairment among US women. This chart shows the trend in these 2 measures among married women from Cycles 3 to 6 (1982-2002). One of the measures (impaired fecundity) is used to characterized childless women as voluntarily vs nonvoluntarily childless… Trend analysis using female respondent files

SEXUALITY

Percentage of fathers 15-44 years of age who did the specified activity every day in the last 4 weeks with their children under 5 years old, by whether or not they lived with their children: United States, 2002 Male file

TEENAGERS

Percent sexually experienced, by age: never-married teens 1995 and 2002 Females Males -(females)Among ages 15-17 only, there was a (significant) decline for females (males)The percent of teens sexually experienced decreased significantly for all teen males, including younger and older age groups. Female respondent & Male files

Percent of males and females 18-24 who had their first intercourse before age 20 by how much they wanted it to happen when it did: US, 2002 Percent Percent ACASI file

Pregnancy rates for teenagers by age: US, 1976-2000 Pregnancies per thousand 149 18-19 years 130 101 15-19 years 85 15-17 years 69 Pregnancy rate for teens began to decline in 1991 and continued through the latest time point available. The previous slide showed a decline in the % of teens sexually experienced, among some subgroups. This is part of the explanation for declining preg rates and is useful for showing which subgroups are at highest risk and what factors are associated with earlier sexual activity and under what circumstances first sex occurs. 54 Trend analysis based on NSFG, natality, and AGI data

MORAL NORMS

Percentage of men and women 15-44 years of age who agree or strongly agree with the statement, “It is all right for unmarried 18 year olds / 16 year olds to have sexual relations if they have strong affection for each other”: United States, 2002 Male file and female respondent file

CONTRACEPTION

Year of first intercourse Percent of women who used a method of contraception at their first premarital intercourse, by year of first intercourse: US, 2002. Percent Year of first intercourse Female respondent file

Current Contraceptive Users by Method Percent 1995 2002 6/8/06 JA – vote for deleting this one, since we have several here on contraception. Implant, Patch, Lunelle Injectable (Depo) IUD/ Diaphram Male Condom Calendar Rhythm & NFP Withdrawal Other Female Sterilization Male Sterilization OC Pill Female respondent file

Percent of women 22-44 years of age who are currently using a specified method of contraception, by education: US, 2002 Percent Female Sterilization Pill Female respondent file

Percent of women 15-44 who received 1 or more family planning services from a medical care provider in the last 12 months, by age: US, 2002 Percent Age at Interview Female respondent file

Males who have ever gone to a family planning clinic with a female partner: US, 2002 Percent Total 15-24 years 15-17 years 18-19 years 20-21 years 22-24 years Note: Data are for unmarried males who reported ever having sexual intercourse. Male file

Percent of males and females 25-44 years of age who have had each type of sexual contact: US, 2002 ACASI file

Strong Society / Economy

Belonging: Male + Female Society At Large Family Child / Adult Father Mother There are five major institutions in society: The Family The Church (Synagogue or Temple) The School (Grade School, High School, University and Media) The Government The Marketplace (The Economy) And they are formed first in each parents individual capacity to do the five tasks Then in the couples capacity to cooperate on the five basic tasks From whom their children learn and by whom they are formed in the five basic tasks And thus we get the competent adult citizen --- mainly from the family!

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MORAL NORMS