WHY GET MARRIED? What do you think? Class Discussion…

Engagement http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Su1YLAjty-U

Engagement Will you prepare more for the wedding day or for the married life together?

Formula for Marital Success (prepare) If you can do these things well before marriage, studies of happy couples have shown the likelihood of your doing them well after marriage is high. So now you….. Formula for Marital Success (prepare) You have dated for 4 seasons and continue to date each other You care about one another. Both are responsible, mature, and independent You respect each other – not everyone is perfect You can assertively communicate your feelings and needs You love yourself as well as each other You have a balanced individual and joint leisure time Both are established in a job or career Both know and accept yourselves You satisfy each other’s needs and are not selfish You have realistic expectations about the challenges of marriage You can resolve conflicts well together You feel good about the personality of your partner You agree on religious and ethical values There is an equal role relationship You know that love is NOT enough You are committed to the marriage and to your partner. Ingredients to make marriage last. These are learned, developed, and practiced during dating and on into engagement.

GET ENGAGED! What Makes the Engagement Official?... Announcement to the Family The Engagement Ring

All too often: Couples spend more time preparing for the wedding which lasts for a day than for the married life, which is intended to last a lifetime. Getting married and staying married are 2 different things. More focus is placed on the getting than on the staying which is why the divorce rate is so high. Many believe that LOVE will lead the way or that LOVE will get us through. Almost everyone that gets married is “in love”, but half of these lovebirds get a divorce. Love is NOT enough.

Purposes of Engagement… Engagement is Mate Selection Insurance Show your commitment to each other. To plan a wedding. Is this really what we want to do! Do you know your future spouse as well as you know your sugar intake?

Engagement Scenario: What would happen now? Becky and Joe had been dating for 4 1/2 years. They were both in their senior year of college when they got married. Everyone thought they were the perfect couple. He was a big football star, but had suffered enough injuries that he knew he wanted another career. She had been a cheerleader all through high school. They had both been obsessed with taking care of their bodies. Perhaps that is what brought them together; they both spent so much time in the gym. Their marriage had been relatively trouble free for three years and everyone marveled at how well they had taken care of themselves. They both looked as good, if not better, than in their college days. However, one problem had surfaced. Joe wanted children. They both had stable jobs and he was ready to start a family. Becky had been putting off having a baby for over a year now and Joe could not understand why. One night they got into a heated discussion about having children. Becky expressed her feelings. She told Joe that she really did not want to bear a child. She felt adoption was a more reasonable way of getting a child. Her rationale was that they both had spent many years refining their bodies. Why should she be expected to suddenly give up her body to have a baby? She had seen birth films when she was in college and she did not want to go through that process. Joe was devastated. 1. Would it have helped if Joe had known this about Becky before they were married? 2. How could this problem have been identified then? 3. What could have been done before marriage about the problem?   While Joe probably assumed that Becky wanted children and was willing to give birth to them, only half of his assumption was true. Never assume that you know how your partner feels about ideas and important issues. These are differences of opinion that could cause a great deal of stress later in the marriage.

Engagement Clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FwjOoEGmp4

Important Topics to Discuss During Engagement… There are so many things that need to be talked about during the engagement period. Below is a list of some of them: 1. Role responsibilities and expectations (money, etc…) 2. Relationship with family members and friends 3. Communication and Conflict Management methods 4. Relationship expectations: Love, commitment, and the Sexual relationship 5. Feelings about parenting and Children: how many, how to discipline 6. Recreation activities 7. Jobs and careers 8. Religion Money includes the cost of the wedding. Work on discussion topics while watch chapt 7-10 in Father of the bride – stop when he leaves the house. (15 minutes)

Points of Discussion Choose one question under each topic. Write the question down Answer it how you would answer it now

Engagement https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AWkjuHyDnI

How Much Does a Wedding Cost? http://money.cnn.com/2015/03/12/pf/planning-for-wedding-costs/

Plan a Wedding! For the next two class periods, you will be planning YOUR wedding. Rubrics and Example

Plan a Dream Honeymoon

1. Purposes of a Honeymoon Get to know one another better Relaxation from planning the wedding Time to be alone Adjust to married life together Add pics of different types of honeymoons – doesn’t have to be expensive

Honeymoon Planning Guidelines 2. Make it within a budget Resist the temptation to spend more than you can afford. Don’t begin your marriage in debt. Average time = 8 days and Average cost = $3,000 3. Have realistic expectations Honeymoons have become over glamorized and end up being a big disappointment. This is also a time for disillusioning. The couple begins to see each other as real people with real faults. 4. Have a sense of humor and create fun memories