Dealing with Family Wounds The Devastation of Divorce

Let’s Pray World Meeting of Families Prayer God and Father of us all, in Jesus, your Son and our Savior, you have made us your sons and daughters in the family of the Church. May your grace and love help our families in every part of the world be united to one another in fidelity to the Gospel. May the example of the Holy Family, with the aid of your Holy Spirit, guide all families, especially those most troubled, to be homes of communion and prayer and to always seek your truth and live in your love. Through Christ our Lord, Amen. Jesus, Mary and Joseph…Pray for us!

A Little About Myself Taylor Geiger 22 Years Old Recently Married (August 8th) Theology Degree from Silver Lake College of the Holy Family Worked in youth ministry for 3 years Campus Minister at Roncalli High School Parents are divorced I’m not a counselor…or a doctor

Divorce Sucks 2nd Grade…parents divorce I remember being: Confused, frustrated, angry Not sure who to blame Ostracized from friends at school

We Aren’t Waiting for Superman Children of Divorce aren’t: Your problem to fix A “project” to work on Children of Divorce are: Children of God In need of love, compassion, & empathy

Forgive, but Hard to Forget Walk with them on a journey of forgiveness “And this is important! To know how to forgive one another in families because we all make mistakes, all of us!” Pope Francis My Story Annoyed with my youth minister 1 on 1 talks Challenge to forgive Road to Emmaus Walked with them…the wrong way

Practical Tips Mentorship Be present God the Father & Mother Mary Teach them small skills (manual labor, shaving, make up, etc.) Be the wise one Be present Games, events, shows God the Father & Mother Mary Might be hard to connect with one…so use the other

Practical Tips Continued… Don’t try so hard Let Jesus do the heavy lifting You aren’t going to heal their wounds…Jesus is. Love them…no matter how difficult it is We have the largest family Utilize this Stay connected Texts, emails, FACE-TO-FACE

Practical Tips Continued… Every story is different…very different Handout acknowledges the plurality of this Factors such as the age of the child, time since the divorce, parenting style, financial security, and type and extent of parental conflict all contribute to post divorce adjustment. McLanahan (1999) Cannot apply broad stroke Parents Key to understanding the situation Communicate WITH BOTH Keep out of the power struggle that may exist

Practical Tips Continued… Know your limits It may be too much to handle You (probably) aren’t a counselor Lack training and experience necessary Don’t be afraid to refer to a counselor Journeying Not their parents. Period. Miss-projection Dangerous – form bad attachments

Sources Handouts American Psychological Association Messy and situational Financial, parenting style, age, friend group, etc. National Association of School Psychologists Encourage strong outside relationships…but be careful Reiterates the complexities of divorce

Hope Possible for children to come out strong I did! …I think… …Ask my wife Jesus heals the broken hearted Lead them to Him…no exceptions