Sentence Level Revisions BA 6

Essay Check  Thesis  Organizational Sentence (if you need one)  Topic Sentence 1  Topic Sentence 2 Topic Sentence 3 Conclusion

✔ Thesis Does the thesis clearly state the purpose of your literature review? Make sure you are not setting up an argument or an informative essay. However, you will want the topic you are reviewing to be something you can argue about for draft 2.1 Is the thesis focused on a narrow topic?

✔ Organizational Sentence/Introduction  A statement telling the reader what major points you are going to cover Do your topic sentences CLEARLY relate to your organizational statement and/or the thesis? Are they built off of it? Do you set a clear structure for your paper? Do you set a clear scope (focus) for your paper? Do you follow the order of the topics you set up?

✔ Topic Sentences 1-3 Each topic is a mini thesis Each paragraph is a mini essay Contains Opening Main idea Support Closing ASK: does each sentence in the paragraph directly support this topic sentence? The thesis?

Body Sentences… All of the information in each sentence needs to be relevant Cut fluff Check that all your sentences answer the question “so what?”

Body Sentences… Find your pronouns: “it,” “they, “these,” “them”; can you fill that space with a better word or phrase? Make stronger sentences by removing “to be” verbs Still stuck? Try removing as many articles (a, an, the) as possible (and reasonable)

Sentence Level Revision 5 R’s { Restructure sentences or p.graph Reword concepts Reorder sentences or comp’s Remove sentences and fluff Readdress thesis/topic

Try this! You have 10-15 minutes Make sure you have a thesis that is Sets up a Literature Review Strong Clear Focused Take a paragraph, at least 6-8 sentences, and revise it using 3-5 of the 5 R’s You have 10-15 minutes

Now Trade! 5-10 minutes Evaluate their thesis: Does the thesis set up a Literature review? (If not, what is it doing?) Is the thesis strong? Is the thesis clear? Is the thesis focused? Look at their revision compared to their original: What R’s did they use? Is the revision stronger? Why? Why not? Would you change anything? Give their revision a grade: A: no change required B: some change required C: much change required 5-10 minutes

BA6 Revise a substantial body paragraph from 1.1 (at least 6-8 sentences) Write a short summary and evaluation of your revisions. Explain the revisions you have made and their impact on the audience, purpose, and meaning of your draft as a whole. No length requirement, but make sure you have at least 6-8 sentences to revise Provide your thesis statement before your revised paragraph.

Before The Clock Strikes 12 BA Deliverables Statement of thesis Original paragraph Revised paragraph Summary of Revisions DUE 2/20/2011 Before The Clock Strikes 12

Helpful Readings Chapter 42-45 in the E-handbook