Correct your essay and return by Thursday at the start of class! Essay Corrections Correct your essay and return by Thursday at the start of class!

Improvements Avoid 1st and 2nd person POV WRONG: We travel because we enjoy it. WRONG: When you travel, things can get exhausting. RIGHT: People travel because they enjoy it. RIGHT: When people travel, it can be exhausting. Avoid contractions WRONG: People aren’t always going to love traveling. WRONG: It isn’t always affordable to travel. RIGHT: People are not always going to love traveling. RIGHT: It is not always affordable to travel.

Improvements Noun/ Pronoun Agreement WRONG: A person travels because they want to get away. WRONG: One can travel if their income allows it. RIGHT: A person travels because he or she wants to get away. RIGHT: People can travel if their incomes allow it. Use required resources Rick Steves TedEx Talk “Why We Travel” article Other resources are ok but not required. Credit sources in your writing.

Successes! 5 paragraph structure– easy to follow, well organized! Passionate voice– dedicated to the topic! Clear thesis– evidence supported the thesis that travel is important! Hooks– interesting quotes, very engaging! Outside research– dug deeply into the topic!