MASTERING CONFLICT DE-ESCALATION YES!! MASTERING CONFLICT DE-ESCALATION STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS

De-escalation Techniques Verbal De-escalation Techniques are non-physical skills used to prevent a potentially dangerous situation from escalating into a physical confrontation or injury.

De-escalation Techniques There are two key concepts to remember: 1. Reasoning with an angry person is not possible. The first and only objective in de-escalation is to reduce the level of agitation so that discussion becomes possible. 2. De-escalation techniques are inherently abnormal. They go against our natural ‘fight or flight’ reflexes. To be effective, we must remain calm and centered. We need to be professionally detached. Therefore these skills require practice to become useful. TO BE CLEAR, WE MUST FIRST DE-ESCALATE AND THEN SOLVE THE PROBLEM

Precipitating Factors Loss of personal power Maintain self-esteem Fear Failure Seeking attention Displaced anger Psychological or physiological causes

Signs of Agitation Raised Voice Rapid Speech High Pitched Voice Fidgeting Shaking Balled Fists Erratic Movements Wild Gesturing Pacing Aggressive Posture

Non-Verbal Techniques Model these non-verbal behaviors: Control your breathing Control your voice (volume and tone) Control your body language Control your vocabulary REMEMBER: Calm is just as contagious as fear or panic

Non-Verbal Techniques Appear calm and self-assured Maintain limited eye contact Maintain a neutral facial expression Maintain an alert posture Keep your hands to yourself Speak soothingly Position yourself for safety

Verbal Techniques Disregard content, focus on calming Use a soft, slow and low tone of voice Do not interrupt Do not get defensive Respond selectively Be honest Empathize with feelings NOT behavior Do not analyze emotions Do not attempt to argue or persuade Identify external controls as institutional

Verbal Techniques Simple Listening Skills Listen Nod Do not interrupt Let them vent

Ending De-escalation When the person has calmed down, you can then begin to address their individual situation in the same patient and professional manner that you have already displayed. ---OR--- The person you are working with does not respond to your efforts at de-escalating the situation and you need to end the interaction without exacerbating things or putting yourself or anyone else in harm’s way. Contact dispatch and inform them that a supervisor is needed at your location. If the individual still continues to escalate, request police assistance immediately.

Self Checks Don’t take complaints personally! If the customer is upset about schedule, fare or other system components, remember that they are upset with the system, not you “the person”. When you keep this in perspective, your responses tend to be less defensive, and work to automatically de escalate the situation. Don’t construct communication barriers: Pre-judging Not Listening Criticizing Name-Calling Engaging in Power Struggles Ordering Threatening Minimizing Arguing

Tone of Voice A lowered voice level may set a tone of anger which could create fear or challenges. A raised voice may set a tone of anticipation or uncertainty which may promote excitement or disruption. Speak slowly -- This is usually interpreted as soothing. A controlled voice is one of calm and firmness which promotes confidence in both parties. Humor may unintentionally offend someone and escalate the situation. -- Use humor sparingly and always direct humor toward yourself. (Be very careful when attempting humor in this type of situation!) Always be respectful to the other person. Using “please” and “thank-you” -- “Sir.” or “Ma’am” indicates respect.

“Inflection of Voice” (Examples): What do these words mean? “I didn’t say you were stupid.” I didn’t say you were stupid. (Your brother said it!) (But I did write it on the bulletin board!) (I said your brother was stupid) (I said you were a complete idiot.)

Things to Avoid! Avoid becoming emotionally involved (and controlled) -- control your emotions at all times. Avoid engaging in power struggles. Avoid becoming rigid in your process. Avoid telling the other person that you “know how he or she feels.” Avoid raising your voice, cussing, making threats, and giving ultimatums or demands. Avoid aggressive language, including body language. Do not attempt to intimidate a hostile person.

Avoiding Angry Responses According to the American Psychological Association: “Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run”.  Whether in your personal or professional life, if not controlled at the right time, an angry response could lead to things you might regret the rest of your life.

Thank you! ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: American Psychological Association, Northeast Washington Educational Service District 101, Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College, Community College of Rhode Island