Top Ten Tips for Screwing-up a Presentation Presented by someone who has screwed-up a lot of presentations (and has watched others do the same)

Tip #10 Clutter your slides with graphics that distract from what you are saying. And use a small font too.

Don’t proof your slides very, very carefully Tip #9 Don’t proof your slides very, very carefully If you use bad grammer and speeling on a slide people think you ain’t really all that smart

Tip #8 Put a lot of text on a slide and then read it to your audience so that they think you think they can’t read and don’t forget to talk fast too. Or assume they will read the slides and then they will not listen to what you are saying and what you are saying may actually be interesting unlike the text on this slide.

Tip #7 Memorize your presentation and talk like a robot.

Tip #6 Look at only the cute people in the room.

Don’t test your stuff in enough time to make adjustments. Tip #5 Don’t test your stuff in enough time to make adjustments. Don’t test your technology. Don’t test your clothes.

Don’t anticipate the questions. Tip #4 Don’t anticipate the questions. Faint when you don’t know the answer to a question (and hope for the sympathy of the audience).

Tip #3 Make sure you run out of time and don’t get a chance to make your main points.

Tip #2 Allow people to forget about you as soon as you sit down.

about the kind of audience Tip #1 Don’t give a flip about the kind of audience you have.

Top 10 Tips 10. Clutter your slides. 9. Don’t proof your slides. 8. Put a lot of text on a slide and read. 7. Memorize and talk like a robot. 6. Look at only the cute people. 5. Don’t test in enough time. 4. Don’t anticipate the questions. 3. Run out of time. 2. Allow people to forget about you. 1. Don’t give a flip about the audience you have.