Promoting Social Emotional Competence Promoting Children’s Success: Building Relationships and Creating Supportive Environments Module 1 Handout

Agenda Introduction Examining attitudes Relationship between challenging behavior and social emotional development Building relationships Schedules, routines, & transitions Activities that promote engagement Giving directions Teaching classroom rules Ongoing monitoring and positive attention Using positive feedback & encouragement Pulling it all together

Learner Objectives Participants will be able to describe the importance of building relationships with children, families, and colleagues. Participants will be able to describe the relationship between children’s social emotional development and challenging behavior. Participants will be able to describe how challenging behavior serves a function for children. Participants will be able to describe the relationship between environmental variables, children’s challenging behaviors, and social emotional development Participants will be able to identify strategies that can be used to (1) build positive relationships with children, families and colleagues; (2) design schedules and routines; (3) structure transitions; (4) help children learn rules and routines; and (5) plan activities that promote engagement. Participants will be able to use descriptive acknowledgment and encouragement to support children’s positive social behaviors. Participants will evaluate their work with children related to building relationships and the structure and design of their environment.

Examining Our Attitudes about Challenging Behaviors What behaviors push your buttons? How do these behaviors make you feel? How does this impact your relationship with a child and his/her family?

Managing Personal Stress: Thought Control Calming Thoughts “This child is testing to see where the limits are. My job is to stay calm and help him learn better ways to behave.” “I can handle this. I am in control. They have just learned some powerful ways to get control. I will teach them more appropriate ways to behave.” Upsetting Thoughts “That child is a monster. This is getting ridiculous. He’ll never change.” “I’m sick of putting out fires!”

Managing Personal Stress: Thought Control Upsetting Thought “I wonder if the corner grocery is hiring?” “He ruins everything! This is going to be the worst year of my career.” Calming Thoughts “I feel undervalued right now – I need to seek support from my peers and supervisor.” “Having her in my class is going to be a wonderful Professional Development experience.”

Reframing Activity In pairs or in small groups: See Handout 1.3 (Reframing Activity) Read the four examples listed and generate two to three other challenging behaviors and how you might reframe each one. In reframing the challenging behaviors, do not come up with solutions but rather restate the behaviors to make them more manageable. Be prepared to share your ideas with the large group.

Key Social Emotional Skills Children Need as They Enter School Confidence Capacity to develop good relationships with peers and adults Concentration and persistence on challenging tasks Ability to effectively communicate emotions Ability to listen to instructions and be attentive Ability to solve social problems What do children do when they don’t have each of these skills?

When children do not have these skills, they often exhibit challenging behaviors We must focus on TEACHING the skills!

“If a child doesn’t know how to read, we teach. If a child doesn’t know how to swim, we teach. If a child doesn’t know how to multiply, we teach. If a child doesn’t know how to drive, we teach. If a child doesn’t know how to behave, we……..... …….teach? ……punish? Why can’t we finish the last sentence as automatically as we do the others?” Tom Herner (NASDE President ) Counterpoint 1998, p.2)

Some Basic Assumptions Challenging behavior usually has a message- I am bored, I am sad, you hurt my feelings, I need some attention. Children often use challenging behavior when they don’t have the social or communication skills they need to engage in more appropriate interactions. Behavior that persists over time is usually working for the child. We need to focus on teaching children what to do in place of the challenging behavior.

Promote Children’s Success Create an environment where EVERY child feels good about coming to school. Design an environment that promotes child engagement. Focus on teaching children what To Do! Teach expectations and routines. Teach skills that children can use in place of challenging behaviors.

Building Positive Relationships Individualized Intensive Interventions Social Emotional Teaching Strategies Designing Supportive Environments Building Positive Relationships

Building Relationships Helps each child feel accepted in the group Assists children in learning to communicate and get along with others Encourages feelings of empathy and mutual respect among children and adults Provides a supportive environment in which children can learn and practice appropriate and acceptable behaviors as individuals and as a group

Building Relationships with Children Why is it important? The relationships that we build with children, families, and colleagues are at the foundation of everything we do. It is important to build these relationships early on rather than waiting until there is a problem. Children learn and develop in the context of relationships that are responsive, consistent, and nurturing. Children with the most challenging behaviors especially need these relationships, and yet their behaviors often prevent them from benefiting from those relationships. Adults’ time and attention are very important to children, and we need to be sure that we are giving them that time and attention at times other than when they are engaging in challenging behavior. Parents and other colleagues (such as mental health providers and therapists) are critical partners in building children’s social emotional competence. We should all work together to ensure children’s success and prevent challenging behavior.

“Every child needs one person who is crazy about him.” Uri Bronfenbrenner

Building Positive Relationships with Children Happy Grams Play Home visits Share Empathy Notes home Time & Attention

Building Relationships

Activity- Building Relationships How do you build positive relationships with: Children? Families? Colleagues? Brainstorm a list of things you could do to build or strengthen relationships with children, families, or other colleagues Share with the small group Identify 2-3 things you are going to do to build stronger relationships with children, families, and colleagues.

Ideas for Making Deposits Greet every child at the door by name. Post children’s work around the room. Have a “star” of the week who brings in special things from home and gets to share them during circle time. Call a child’s parent in front of them to say what a great day she is having or send home positive notes. Call a child after a difficult day and say, “I’m sorry we had a tough day today. I know tomorrow is going to be better!” Give hugs, high fives and thumbs up accomplishing tasks.

When a child misses school tell him how much he was missed. Write on a t-shirt all the special things about a given child and let him/her wear it. Find time to read to individual children or a few children at a time. Acknowledge children’s efforts. Find out what a child’s favorite book is and read it to the whole class. Give compliments liberally. Play with children, follow their lead. Let children make “All About Me” books and share them at Circle Time.

Building Positive Relationships Individualized Intensive Interventions Social Emotional Teaching Strategies Designing Supportive Environments Building Positive Relationships

Transitions Plan for transitions Minimize the number of transitions that children have during the day. Minimize the length of time children spend waiting with nothing to do. Prepare children for transitions by providing a warning. Structure the transitions so that children have something to do while they wait. Teach children the expectations related to transitions. Individualize supports and cues.

Teaching Children Expectations

Activity Analysis Using Clip Art Washing Hands 1 2 3 4 5 Wet hands. Get soap. Wash hands. Dry hands. Throw away.

Individual Schedule First Then

Large Group Activities Planning the activity Consider the length Be clear about the purpose and goals of the activities Use circle time to teach new things Implementing the activity Provide opportunities for all children to be actively involved Assign jobs to children Vary your speech and intonation patterns Have children lead activities Pay attention to children’s behavior

Video 1.4: Circle Activity

Guiding Questions for Video of Circle Activity Are the children engaged in these two clips? What tells you that the children are or are not engaged? Describe the teacher’s behavior in these clips. What is the teacher doing that engages the children? What strategies can you suggest that would help the teacher engage the children even more?

Giving Directions Make sure you have the children’s attention before you give the direction. Minimize the number of directions given to children. Individualize the way directions are given. Give clear directions.

Giving Directions Give directions that are positive. Give children the opportunity to respond to a direction. When appropriate, give the child choices and options for following directions. Follow through with positive acknowledgment of children’s behavior.

Circle Time Rules

Program-wide Rules

Video 1.5: Stop/Go Teaching Rules

Fun Ways to Reinforce the Rules Rules Bingo! Make a big book about school rules Homework– what are your rules at home? Play “rule charades”

Ongoing Monitoring and Positive Attention Give children attention when they are engaging in appropriate behaviors. Monitor our behavior to ensure that we are spending more time using positive descriptive language and less time giving directions or correcting inappropriate behavior.

Using Positive Feedback and Encouragement: 4 Principles Contingent on appropriate behavior Descriptive Conveyed with enthusiasm Contingent on effort

Using Positive Feedback and Encouragement Remember to use nonverbal forms of positive feedback and encouragement. Individualize use of positive feedback and encouragement based on children’s needs and preferences. Encourage other adults and peers to use positive feedback and encouragement.

Increasing Positive Behaviors: Activity What are 3-5 behaviors you would like to see increase in your setting? What changes might you make in your use of positive feedback and encouragement in order to increase the behaviors you just identified.

Sample Certificate SUPER FRIEND AWARD!!! This certificate is to certify that Marleco is a SUPER FRIEND!! Today, Marleco used his words to ask Malen nicely for a turn on the swing. When he was done swinging, he asked Malen if she wanted another turn and then helped to push her. At circle time, he gave his friend Cesar a compliment! YAY Marleco!! What a Super Friend you are!! Give yourself a pat on the back!! Signed by: Miss Gail & Mr. Jim Date: January 7, 2006

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves. Carl Jung – psychiatrist

Major Messages The first and most important thing that we can do is to build positive relationships with every child and family. Focus on prevention and teaching appropriate skills. Promoting social emotional development is not easy. There are no quick fixes to challenging behavior. It requires a comprehensive approach that includes building relationships, evaluating our own classrooms and behaviors, and TEACHING.