PBSES Positive Behavior Social Emotional Support Concrete Strategies for Building Student Relationships PBSES Positive Behavior Social Emotional Support

Mari Stevens – Issaquah Middle School Introductions Mari Stevens – Issaquah Middle School Share: Position Why you’re here What you hope to gain

Proximity + Communication TRUST Proximity + Communication

IMPORTANT INCLUDED

Frontload for Success Build in strategies to establish, maintain, and restore relationships with students into classroom practices and routines Know your “go to” strategies Proximity + Communication = Trust Build classroom community The payoff will come!

Phases of Relationships ESTABILISH MAINTAIN RESTORE

Establish Goal for student to feel connected, safe, and respected Engage in intentional practices to build connection

Establish Strategies Purposeful greetings at the door Teach every expectation and procedure Student Profile (student and parent filled out) How to organize – make it user friendly! Intentionally spend time with students individually “Kid Questions” Proximity + communication Reference individual information Teachers take time to implement one or more of the following practices with the intention of having individual time with each student

Maintain You know, trust, and respect each other Intentionally maintain relationship Learn and use maintenance practices

Strategies to Maintain Class meetings Greetings at the door Teacher mailbox or relationship journals 5:1 ratio of other positive interactions to corrections Relationship check-ins student is encouraged to share about their lives or personal thoughts, to support the student’s sense of respect and connectedness eetings

Restore A conflict/correction has occurred that feels yucky Re-establish the positive relationship through restorative communication techniques Once a month (put it on your calendar!) quickly reflect on your relationship with students – EMR Form

Strategies to Restore Taking ownership Apologizing “As your teacher I realize I could have handled the situation better, it’s actually my fault.” Apologizing “I’m sorry we both had a rough day yesterday and for not being able to support you better class” Conflict, reprimands, or other negative interactions are nearly impossible to avoid. However, teachers follow up each negative interaction with efforts to restore the relationship through specific communication techniques

Strategies to Restore Asking for a do-over Conveying care “I know things got a little rough between us, but here’s what I say. Let’s have a do-over and just try again today” Conveying care “I just wanted to let you know that although your behavior was a bit difficult to deal with, I care deeply about having you in my class and think you are a pretty special student”

Listen – Allow the student to share their perspective. Just listen. Six Step Communication Process Connect with the downstairs (emotional)  brain before redirecting to the upstairs (logical, problem solving) brain Listen – Allow the student to share their perspective.  Just listen. Reassure the person that his/her perspective is important.  Examples: “It sounds like you got really frustrated when you didn’t know what to write.”  “I can tell that your feelings were hurt when Penny didn’t listen to you when you were working on the project.” Validate his/her emotional state Steps 2 and 3 are easy to skip over, but are quick and essential.  When students feel heard and understood, they are much more inclined to engage in a problem solving conversation. This is part of a six-step communication process that is helpful in times of stress, emotion, or crisis.  Source: Fostering Resilient Learners

“How do we keep this from happening again?” Six Step Communication Process Redirect to the problem solving brain once the student is calm Respond - Explain your perspective of the behavior through your lens Repair – Give a heartfelt apology for whatever role you may have played in the miscommunication or strife. Even if you don’t believe you were in the wrong, an earnest apology can go a long way in building trust.  Resolve – Find alternative ways of acting to prevent future disruptions of the same type.  “How do we keep this from happening again?” Important: Do steps 4-6 once you and the student are calm.  It may mean that you wait until later in the day or even the following day. Source: Fostering Resilient Learners

Fostering Student/Student Relationships Games to help students know names of classmates Model/coach manners Class Meetings

Practices and routines for the year Time to Plan First two weeks Practices and routines for the year Important Work