Reflection #13 & #14 Song!

Unit 6: Challenging Situations Discipline

Love Warmth Discipline Laughter Which word is Negative? NONE! All are Positive! Society uses discipline wrong which makes us think it is negative. Clothing ornaments

Punishment A penalty inflicted for wrong doing, a crime or offense. Physical or verbal attacks, negatively withholding privileges, removal, hit, spank, hurting. Might teach obedience to authority (out of fear), but not self-control which enhances self-respect. May restrain a child temporarily, but it does not teach self-discipline. Demeans the child and negatively affects the relationship.

Discipline is: (behavior modification when needed) To teach and train a behavior by instruction and exercise in accordance with rules and conduct. The method for redirecting a behavior through example, words, actions, and each individual incident. A process that gradually leads to a child becoming responsible for their own behavior or Self-Control. Use the 3 F’s

Discipline should be: Firm: Fair: Friendly: Clearly stated rules and consequences that are adhered to continually - when the inappropriate behavior occurs. Fair: Appropriate punishment that fits the crime. Consequences are stated in advance, not a surprise. Also in the case of recurring behavior, consequences should be stated in advance so the child knows what to expect. Harsh punishment is not necessary. Using a simple Time Out can be effective when it is used consistently every time the behavior occurs. Also, use of reward for a period of time like part of a day or a whole day when no Time Outs or maybe only one Time Out is received. Friendly: Use a friendly but firm communication style when letting a child know they have behaved inappropriately and let them know they will receive the "agreed upon" consequence. Encourage them to try to remember what they should do instead to avoid future consequences. Work at "catching them being good" and praise them for appropriate behavior.

Guidance (continual behavior modification) CONTINUAL Long Term Positive influence on behavior. The act or function of guiding through example, words, and actions. Giving advice or counseling. Helping, teaching, showing.

Spanking Continuum Where Do you Fit? Encourage = Instill (give) courage - Discourage = Remove courage I agree with spanking I disagree with spanking Discipline or Punishment?

Overall Goal of Positive Discipline To help the child gain: Inner self-control Become independent Be self-reliant Practice self-guidance/disciplining (controlling one’s own behavior) Maintain self-respect Build Self-concept Strengthen relationship between child and caregiver Even when you are not around. and PUNSHMENT DOES NOT DO ANY OF THIS

2. Overall points of discipline: A. Parent’s who punish rather than discipline may have children that rebel. B. Adults who do not reinforce appropriate behavior, may have children who resort to problem behavior. C. Attention is a powerful reinforcer that guides children positively or negatively. D. Children often misbehave for attention. Withdraw from the conflict and resolve the problem later. E. Respond to aggressive behavior in a non- aggressive way. Feed what you want to Live, Starve it to Die.

Reasons for a child’s misbehavior: Remember that we all act in certain ways to meet our own needs. Children are no different and their behavior, or misbehavior, can be understood best if the underlying need or reason for their behavior is identified. A child misbehaves when one of the following behavioral needs are not being met:

1. Normal behavior for the child’s age Have appropriate expectations for the child’s developmental age. Strawberry pie - accidents 2. Natural curiosity Provide opportunities to experiment and satisfy curiosity.

3. They do not know any better Inadequate or misunderstood instructions, they really are trying to do what was asked (too high of expectations). They are trying something new and do not realize what the consequences might be.

4. To get attention Feed what you want to Live, Give attention only to that which you want to be repeated and ignore questionable or undesirable behavior. Negative attention is still attention Feed what you want to Live, Starve what you want to Die.

5. To get power Children want some power and control in their lives or they become upset over the amount of control others have over them and might rebel or assert a degree of power and control.

6. For revenge Working to hurt or “get even” for what they have been made to do or feel.

7. Feeling inadequate or incapable Constantly correcting or giving negative reinforcement might make a kid quit trying because they are afraid of failing.

8. The need to feel that they belong Wanting to find a place in a family or peer group where they fit in. This place may be positive or negative, but the need is met. Love them when they are least lovable. Focus on the child NOT on the action.

Behavior Needs Situations- page 8 Peter goes to church with his father. His father becomes very upset because Peter will not sit quietly. _____________ Mother asks David to help clear the table. David refuses and says, “NO!” ______________________________ 1. A father has taken his son out to fish for the first time. The boy keeps snagging his hook and getting mixed up in what he should do. He gets angry. _________________ 2. It is about 11:00 A.M. Mary and John have been playing peacefully wit the tinker toys. Gradually tempers flare and they begin quarreling over the pieces and hitting each other. ___________________ 3. Two boys are climbing trees. They call to a third boy to come and join them. The third boy has been told not to, but does it anyway. ____________________ 4. A Mom takes her child out to weed the garden with her. She tells the child to sit on the grass while she runs to get her tools. When she returns, the child is gone. ____________ 5. A 4 year old finds a knife and uses it to try and cut a carrot. As a result, he cuts his finger. __________________ 6. Jane, 3 years old, goes into her mother’s bedroom and sees a lipstick on the dresser. She opens it and paints all over her mother’s bedspread. ___________________ 7. Bonnie and Sue are playing house. Sue accidentally splashes water from the sink onto Bonnie. Bonnie fills a glass up with water and pours it onto Sue. _______________ 8. Mary is playing with the kitten. The telephone rings and mother answers it. Immediately Mary begins hurting the kitten _________________________

Discipline Video and Study Guide Notes Learning Seed Productions: Disciplining without screaming and scolding 1. Answer the 12 movie questions 2. Complete the scenarios that follow the movie notes. 3. Complete the behavior needs scenarios in section A.