How to Effectively Communicate with Angry and Emotional Parents FAPT SUMMER SYMPOSIUM June 25, 2012 How to Effectively Communicate with Angry and Emotional Parents Mike Connors, CDPT Director of Transportation Brevard District Schools

DISCLAIMER This presentation is based on the experiences and opinions of the presenter and does not necessarily represent or reflect the position of the U.S. Department of Education, the Florida Department of Education, the Brevard School District or the highly experienced and knowledgeable group of transportation professionals seated in this room.

CAUSES OF PARENT ANGER INCONVENIENCED Early/Late School Bus Denial of Transportation Service Actions by a School Bus Driver Student Discipline Improper Driving Words and/or actions to student Communication with Transportation Staff INCONVENIENCED

LET’S HEAR FROM AN ANGRY PARENT - CATHY

IMPORTANCE OF RECONCILIATION IMPORTANCE OF KNOWING ALL AND IMPORTANCE OF KNOWING ALL THE FACTS Situation 1 – Ms. Nicole “surprise ending” 2. Situation 2 – Mr. Jim “the fact of the matter”

SURVIVING ANGRY PARENTS FACTS: Anger is a strong emotion of displeasure The angrier a person gets – the more their ability to reason diminishes Angry parents blame some other person or event Anger causes parents to (1) defend, or to (2) attack Angry parent probably only has part of the story

SURVIVING ANGRY PARENTS After an anger episode – the body takes about 20 minutes to return to normal. Frustration causes anger Venting reduces frustration It does not take much to reignite the anger spark

WHAT IS THE PARENTS’ MOTIVATION?? Love and concern for their child They want what is best for their child Their child is “Number 1” They have a passion for their child

RESPONDING TO COMMON VERBAL CHALLENGES “I pay my taxes” “So you are telling me that………..” “I am pressing charges or I have obtained an attorney” “I will immediately call Channel ____” “Would you let your child walk to school in this area?” “If anything happens to my child, you will be held responsible” “Who is your boss and what is his/her number?

SUGGESTED ANGRY PARENT SURVIVAL TECHNIQUE Screen the initial call if possible for a call back (secretaries the first line of defense). When calling back, take notes. They may be useful in the future. Be sure your return call is timely. On first contact project an openness to help/cooperate. Listen, then listen some more. It is okay for them to ask “Are you still there?”

SUGGESTED ANGRY PARENT SURVIVAL TECHNIQUES (CONT) Let them vent Do not attack back Find something to agree on Remain calm Ask what do you want from me Express compassion Do not say “I cannot fire this driver.” Maintain your self respect Do not offer a solution until you are sure it is the right one.

SUGGESTED ANGRY PARENT SURVIVAL TECHNIQUES (CONT) Try to focus on the student, not the angry parent. Do not say “we are not going to do that” without giving the source. Remember, bus videos can be your strongest supporter. Do not take the anger call personally. Do not accept verbal abuse – warn – warn – then terminate the call and document.

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE HUMIDITY BAND INSTRUMENT UNSAFE BUS STOP

Do not take the approach “I’ve got to win this one” RATHER BOTTOM LINE Do not take the approach “I’ve got to win this one” RATHER “Let’s just try to break even.” REMEMBER “We love this job”

“He has exceeded my expectations and done even better” - Yogi Berra

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