Conflict Management

The whole communication event Placating: canceling out the me Me You Situation Topic

The whole communication event Pouncing: canceling out the you Me You Situation Topic

The whole communication event Computing: Canceling out me, you and situation Me You Situation Topic

The whole communication event Distracting: focus attention on anything but the issue at hand Me You Situation Topic

The whole communication event Leveling: taking into account me, you, topic and situation Me You Situation Topic

Eight skills to handle conflict Fractionating: breaking conflicts down from one big mass into more manageable pieces. Gunnysacking: occurs when a person uses the conflict as an opportunity to bring up past problems or hurts and dump them on the other person.

Positive suggestions for change: involves not just stopping one kind of action or plan but also starting a different one. Compromise. Belt lines: set belt lines below which you and your partner agree not to strike. “touchy topics.”

Xyz statements: when you do x in situation y, I feel z Xyz statements: when you do x in situation y, I feel z. Example: when you talk with someone else about a private conversation you and I had, and I’m there listening. I feel embarrassed. Role reversal: take the place of the other person in the conflict. Helps to understand each other.

defusing: pulling the fuse out so the dynamite won’t explode, or in this case reducing the intensity of a disagreement so that the people involved can cope more effectively. Quiet time: given everyone involved time to think and feel things through. Don’t wait so long that the issue gets ignored.

Resolving Conflict: 6 quick fixes Flip a coin Split the difference Laugh it off Skip it Walk away Say you’re sorry

Conflict resolution Get all the facts. Identify the issues Position Needs Consider all solutions

Find solutions Brainstorming Negotiate Compromise

Avoid threatening, name calling, sarcasm, and attitude