How many of you are parents of children that are teenagers or older? What brings you to this session? Frustrated with parents? Concerned about legal boundaries with parents? Hoping to be more effective? Working with Parents of Students with Disabilities: Building Bridges Instead of Fences Paul Harwell paulh@disability.tamu.edu Kristie Orr, Ph.D. kristieo@disability.tamu.edu Texas A&M University

Outcomes Participants will understand the benefits of partnering with parents and students Participants will know how to engage parents as partners Participants will better understand the role of confidentiality and FERPA in communicating with parents about disability-related information and situations

Research Perspective Healthy parent involvement is positive Students are more connected to their parents than ever Students want parental involvement Involvement helps with adjustment to college, leads to greater autonomy and independence, greater engagement, and increased student satisfaction Theory of Emerging Adulthood – new stage identified between adolescence and adulthood Source: Self, C. (2013). Parent involvement in higher education: A review of the literature. Association of Higher Education Parent/Family Program Professionals, 4(1), 1-11. Students are more connected and dependent on parents than ever – technology and social media - Contact with parents avg. 13.5x/week Parents were important in choosing a college in the first place, and parents have a greater financial stake with increased cost of attendance Involved parents support students with psychosocial tasks such as identity creation an developing intimacy, and general support during transition to college life Lack of involvement is negatively correlated to academic probation (also correlated in various ways with underrepresented/at-risk students) Helicopter parenting can be negative, but it is more about negative authoritarian style – quality/style matters Theory of Emerging Adulthood – stage between adolescence and adult life, parental involvement helps with this transition

Other Benefits Parents know their students better than anyone else Parents are more likely to share information Parents are more likely to engage you when there is an issue that needs resolution Parents are more likely to brag on your work when they know you are trying to be supportive and complain about it when they feel ignored Parents have read the reports before. They have seen what has worked and hasn’t worked. They understand their student’s strengths and weaknesses. Parents are more likely to engage you when there is an issue that needs resolutions. Parents are more likely to brag on your work when they know you are trying to be supportive and complain about it when they feel ignored.

Parent (and Student) Perspectives Parents have been involved since elementary school Students want parental involvement and autonomy Parents don’t want to be the negative helicopter stereotype, but they also have insight to their students’ experiences Example from a parent’s perspective History of being involved since K-12 – informed on everything from conduct to grades, and with ability to make decisions for their students Students are often happy to have autonomy but haven’t practiced it, and some still want their parents to be as involved as before college They need to practice transition as much as their parents do Research suggests this involvement supports autonomy and independence Parents often want to be involved, but many know the helicopter stereotype and want to avoid being that person, but also want to be sure their students are having the best experience and doing the things they should be doing This is a strength because they want their students to do the things you recommend – they are involved for student success, not to tell you how to do your job Kristie’s experience as a parent guiding a student through college transition

Attitudes Attitudes impact outcomes Start negative, the outcomes will be negative Start positive and your more likely for positive outcomes Complaining about “helicopter” parents does not improve the system, but perpetuates it Conflict is inevitable Use conflict as learning moments when possible Don’t take conflict personally Sometimes interactions that start out negative can end up very fruitful and positive

Boundaries Be clear about boundaries, but you don’t have to start the conversation with limitations Clarify boundaries when it is appropriate Acknowledge parent input, but redirect to the student for their perspective Advise students and parents with questions, options, and referrals Be open to information and clarify boundaries/limitations only when it becomes necessary. Then try to do it without limiting input, only what you share back. Give example of redirection. Remember you are trying to keep the student in charge of their decisions, and parents will factor into their decision making process so lead with reflective questions, options, and referrals so that you are not the decision-maker or limiting their role Consider starting a parent newsletter so they have all the general information

Context Avoid generalizations and work within context Context is everything, and perspective is reality Make an effort to understand the student and parent perspective in each situation Other context to keep in mind Avoid generalizations – parents are not a monolithic group Parents may misunderstand policies and procedures Parents may not be aware of post-secondary difference from K-12 We should be working in an individualized approach with students, so we should not treat that any different because a parent is involved or wants to be involved. Avoid generalizations – parents as a group are as diverse, or more so, than the students we serve – for instance, parents may have disabilities too.

FERPA Disclaimer: We are not attorneys, this is not legal advice Fear of FERPA leads to misunderstanding the law Student records belong to the student, we are “custodians” of that information FERPA is about information we share, not the information we receive General information (e.g., policies/procedures) are not restricted Release forms are permissive, not instructive Discuss FERPA and realistic implications of mistaken violations – not the end of the world if you mess up by accident. Things to keep in mind when make FERPA decisions, even with a release form: What does the student want? What is in the student’s best interest? What do you already know about the student/parent relationship? Keep the student in the driver seat. If you aren’t sure, delay and check with the student. Strategies for answers questions vaguely with generalizations rather than specific to a single student. – give an example.

Take-Aways Engagement is good for instructional and student outcomes Parents support you when you support them – stay positive and give good customer service Advise with questions, options, and referrals, not directives FERPA doesn’t mean you can’t engage parents Information release forms/documents give you permission to share, but no requirement to share Engagement is good for instructional and student outcomes Parents support you when you support them – stay positive, give good customer service even when it means explaining boundaries or sharing “bad” news Advise students and parents with questions, options, and referrals, not directives – this makes them accountable for their decisions and keeps them in the driver’s seat FERPA doesn’t mean you can’t engage parents, but it is a support system when it is inappropriate to share confidential information Information release forms/documents give you permission to share, but it is permissive, not instructive