HONOURING YOUR PARENTS (GETTING ALONG WITH PARENTS) Talk by Rodney Tan Teen’s Club Saturday 28/10/2017

OUTLINE  Introduction  Parents: You Can’t Leave Them, So Love Them  Me : Obeying Can Protect You  Tips On Obeying Our Parents  Conclusion

INTRODUCTION  Some Scenarios: 1)My dad is extremely strict. Sometimes he gets nasty. 2)My mum is stressed out all the time and doesn’t have time for me. 3)I live in a one-parent home. 4)I’m going through a parental divorce/separation. 5)I’m in a perfect home.

1. PARENTS : YOU CAN’T LEAVE THEM, SO LOVE THEM Ephesians 6:1-4  (1) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  (2) "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise—  (3) "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."  (4) Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

FOR TEENS WITH CHRISTIAN PARENTS  Children are to obey their parents “in the Lord”.  Children should obey their parents because they are “children of God”.

THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT  Exodus 20:12  (12) "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.  The 5 th commandment comes with a promise  When we honour and obey our parents, God blesses us with: - long life - good days

OLD TESTAMENT – BOOK OF PROVERBS  Proverbs 1:7-9  (7) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.  (8) Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.  (9) They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

OLD TESTAMENT – BOOK OF PROVERBS  Proverbs 22:15 (Good News Bible)  (15) Children just naturally do silly, careless things, but a good spanking will teach them how to behave.

WHY IS OBEDIENCE SO IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN?  Because children lack the wisdom of adults (parents).  E.g.  Toddlers poke their fingers into electrical outlets  Kindergarten kids might run out into the street without looking  Primary children spend their money on cheap toys – throw the next day  Secondary students eat chocolate for breakfast & potato chips for every meal if parents let them  Teens ride their motorbikes/cars at high speeds

2. ME: OBEYING CAN PROTECT ME  What is “obeying”? Meaning: to submit to the authority of (someone) or comply with (a law). e.g. "I always obey my father“ A wise parents is needed to help guide and direct their children to make wise choices.

OBEDIENCE – TOUGH ISSUE  Proverbs 1:7-9  (7) To have knowledge, you must first have reverence for the LORD. Stupid people have no respect for wisdom and refuse to learn.  (8) My child, pay attention to what your father and mother tell you.  (9) Their teaching will improve your character as a handsome turban or a necklace improves your appearance.

GETTING WISDOM  Q: How do we get wisdom? 1. By giving reverence to God 2. By listening to & obeying our parents

GIVING OBEDIENCE Q: Why is obeying so important?  Because it leads to “wisdom”  Wisdom = basic skill for living well  Also learning to obey our parents helps us to learn to obey God easily  God is also our “heavenly father”

WHAT IF I DON’T WANT TO HONOUR / OBEY MY PARENTS?  Why do you want to disobey your parents?

HOW TO HONOUR / OBEY MY PARENTS?  1Listen to them.  2Respect their ideas and opinions  They were young once.  3Accept that they are wiser than you are  They know how to handle most situations.  4Do what they say even when you disagree  You will probably not regret it.  Parents want the best for their children.  They will not knowingly give bad or wrong advice.

LEVELS OF OBEDIENCE  People obey for different reasons. 1Fear 2Tradition 3Reward 4Wisdom 5Respect 6Love

LEVELS OF OBEDIENCE 1Fear – what they will do if you disobey. Romans 13:3 For rulers are not to be feared by those who do good, but by those who do evil. Would you like to be unafraid of those in authority? Then do what is good, and they will praise you,

LEVELS OF OBEDIENCE 2Tradition – what you learned growing up. Isaiah 29:13-14 (13) The Lord said, "These people claim to worship me, but their words are meaningless, and their hearts are somewhere else. Their religion is nothing but human rules and traditions, which they have simply memorized. (14) So I will startle them with one unexpected blow after another. Those who are wise will turn out to be fools, and all their cleverness will be useless."

LEVELS OF OBEDIENCE 3Reward – will get a present if you obey. 2 Corinthians 5:10 (10) For all of us must appear before Christ, to be judged by him. We will each receive what we deserve, according to everything we have done, good or bad, in our bodily life.

LEVELS OF OBEDIENCE 4Wisdom – you know it is wise. Proverbs 3:3-4 (3) Never let go of loyalty and faithfulness. Tie them around your neck; write them on your heart. (4) If you do this, both God and people will be pleased with you.

LEVELS OF OBEDIENCE 5Respect – you respect the person asking for obedience. Proverbs 1:7 (7) To have knowledge, you must first have reverence for the LORD. Stupid people have no respect for wisdom and refuse to learn.

LEVELS OF OBEDIENCE 6Love – you love your parents. 1 John 4:8 (8) Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.

LEVELS OF OBEDIENCE  People obey for different reasons. 1Fear – what they will do if you disobey. 2Tradition – what you learned growing up. 3Reward – will get a present if you obey. 4Wisdom – you know it is wise. 5Respect – you respect the person asking for obedience. 6Love – you love your parents.

TIPS TO OBEY YOUR PARENTS  1Parents may make rules you may not like  To protect you  Keep you out of trouble  Not to make your life miserable

TIPS TO OBEY YOUR PARENTS  2Most parents want their kids to be happy  Not normal to make rules to make you unhappy.  They love you.  They care for you.  But sometimes kids are uncontrollable.  Parents may give up on changing the kid.

TIPS TO OBEY YOUR PARENTS  3Forgive your parents now & then  They are human.  They make mistakes sometimes.  They may punish you too harshly.  They may make very strict rules.  Learn to forgive (eventhough you feel hurt).

TIPS TO OBEY YOUR PARENTS  4Most parents will listen to your objections  They understand you are not happy with a rule/situation.  Don’t shout, scream or cry to get your way.  Act like an adult and you’ll be treated like one.  Once voiced, accept their decision.

TIPS TO OBEY YOUR PARENTS  5Obey with a smile  Helps things work out for the better.  Show that your attitude is good.  Sometimes, parents will make changes in the rules.  Show that you have grown & mature.  May enjoy some priviledges.

DISCUSSION QUESTION  What is the main thing we need to practice in our relationships with our parents? Why?  What are some of the ways I can honour / obey my parents this week?

Q & A