Juniors: Read Thoreau Sophomores: Notes on Syntax October 6, 2017 Place your cell phone in the hotel room. Sophomore Homework: Syntax Practice #1/ Memorize Notes for Syntax Junior Homework: Memorize Thoreau Biography Notes

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday 1st Period 7:25 – 8:25 2nd Period 8:30 – 9:30 3rd Period 9:35 – 10:35 Lunch A 10:35 – 11:05 Period 4A 11:10 – 12:10 Period 4B 10:40 – 11:10 Lunch B 11:10 – 11:40 Period 4B 11:45 – 12:10 Period 4C 10:40 – 11:40 Lunch C 11:40 – 12:10 Period 5 12:15 – 1:15 Period 6 1:20 – 2:20      

Nuts and Bolts For this RETAKE test only, if your retake was a lower score, you will keep your original. IN ALL FUTURE TESTS, you will get the retake score no matter how it compares. One question was wrong on the answer key: He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts. It is Consonance and Assonance. I made the point correction to those who got it right. All “Uncoiling” paragraphs must be in Turnitin.com by the time class starts tomorrow. Use the author’s name and word “line”in the first citation only, after that just the line number (12).

16316453 6th Period Junior English Class Enrollment Key: Labor Class ID # 16316354 1st period 10th Honors 16316401 3rd period Honors 10th 16316440 4th period Honors 10th 16316447 5th Period Honors 10th 16316453 6th Period Junior English Class Enrollment Key: Labor First Citation (Mora line 1-3) Others (10)

Paragraphing the freshman way, in “chunks” TS: Mora uses extended personification to add dimension to the tornado. CD: She opens the poem, “With thorns, she scratches / on my window, tosses her hair dark with rain, / snares lightning…” (lines 1-3). CM: By having the tornado scratch, toss, and snare, in the very beginning, the subject of the poem moves about quickly, but also creates a furious character – one on a tirade of destruction. CM: This movement also gives a violent personality to the tornado – a personality of scraping thorns, moving darkness powerful enough to snare lightning; thus, showing the power of nature. CD: Although the wind’s fierce persona is emphasized throughout the poem, Mora also brings her to rest in lines 19-22, “until she becomes / sound, spins herself to sleep, sand stinging her ankles, whirring into her raw skin like stars.” CM: The poet slows down the movement of the wild woman by putting her to sleep, then giving the reader the image of the last bits of the windy vortex winding down to the earth by having them focus on her ankles. CM: This winds the poem to a close as the tempest of the woman is stilled; it gives the full scope of her person as she, like all, must rest after exertion. CS: Creating the personification helps the reader see the tornado as a woman on a tirade to accentuate its violent and destructive nature.

Weaving Paragraph Sample Mora uses extended personification to add dimension to the tornado. By having the tornado “scratch,” “toss,” and “snare,” (lines 1-3) in the very beginning, the subject of the poem moves about quickly, but also creates a furious character – one on a tirade of destruction. This movement also gives a violent personality to the tornado – a personality of scraping thorns, moving darkness powerful enough to snare lightning; thus, showing the power of nature. Although the wind’s fierce persona is emphasized throughout the poem, Mora also brings her to rest in lines 19-22, slowing down the movement of the wild woman by putting her to sleep, then giving the reader the image of the last bits of the windy vortex winding down to the earth by having them focus on her ankles “until she becomes / sound” (22). This winds the poem to a close as the tempest of the woman “spins herself to sleep” (21) until she is stilled; it gives the full scope of her person as she, like all, must rest after exertion. Creating the personification helps the reader see the tornado as a woman on a tirade to accentuate its violent and destructive nature.

What do you see for each of these: techniques, connotations, tone connections, meaning of the evidence in its relation to theme… “roars, and rivers leap” “snares lightning”

Better: Mora’s tornado onomatopoeticall y “roars,” to create a threatening tone, which causes the rivers to metaphorically “leap” out of the riverbank as if in fright. Good: Mora’s tornado “roars,” which is onomatopoeia and has a scary tone. The roaring causes the rivers to “leap” in fright, which is a metaphor comparing the river to a scared animal.

Better: The tornado’s “roar[ing]” threatens the river which metaphorically “leap[s]” away to show how everything in the tornado’s path is endangered by its intensity. Good: Roaring is associated with danger or fear which is the reason for the leaping river. Also, the metaphor shows how everything in natures becomes scared because of the intensity.

Quotations are embedded into the commentary CRITERIA YES S/T NO Quotations are embedded into the commentary   Quotations are five words or less Avoids phrases like “in this quotation” or “this shows that” Ideas/quotations are not repetitious Each sentence begins with a different word Commentary is written in the third person Commentary is written in the present tense Line numbers/page numbers are indicated after the quotation Commentary is relevant to the thesis (if applicable) Commentary is relevant to the topic sentence Commentary explains the connotations of the patterns/techniques Commentary explains the relevance to the overall meaning of the work

1 2 3 4 5 Incomplete commentary is redundant to evidence or previous commentary.   Commentary neglects to explain evidences’ effect and relation to the meaning without redundancy. Evidence’s relevance is not accurate and/or not explained enough to show relevance Evidence is mostly set apart from the commentary and connected with phrases such as “this shows that.” Emerging sometimes moves the ideas of the paragraphs forward. Commentary sometimes explains evidences’ effect and relation to the meaning. Evidence’s relevance is mostly accurate and somewhat explained Evidence is sometimes integrated into the commentary. Adequate commentary moves the ideas of the paragraphs forward. Commentary explains evidences’ effect and relation to the meaning most of the time. Evidence’s relevance is accurate and mostly clearly explained Evidence is mostly integrated into the commentary. Very good commentary is effective and moves the ideas of the paragraphs forward. Commentary explains evidences’ effect and relation to the meaning. Evidence’s relevance is accurate and clearly explained Evidence is consistently integrated into the commentary without redundancy. Excellent commentary is effective, cogent and moves the ideas of the paragraphs forward. Commentary clearly explains evidences’ effect and relation to the meaning without redundancy. Evidence’s relevance is accurate and thoroughly explained Evidence is consistently and fluently integrated into the commentary without redundancy.

Peer Editing I will group you up, You will make pretty circles with your desk. You will introduce yourself to those sitting around you. You will open your Uncoiling paragraph.

Peer Evaluation Exchange computers with each other, so that you can evaluate one another’s paragraphs. Fill out the YES test for the person whose paragraph you are reading. Highlight any errors you see in their writing. When you are finished, go over your evaluation of each other’s paragraphs. If there is anything you realize that you need to change in your paragraph, please do so and then submit it to turnitin.com.

Cell Phones and Emergency Passes No cell phones in class unless I have specifically asked you to use them. THEY MUST BE OFF AND IN THE HOTEL in your desk number hotel suite. 3 Emergency Passes per semester. You must sign out with a time and I must sign the clipboard before you leave. Why? Glad you asked…

Decorate me however you please. School appropriate, of course.  When you’re done, turn your test in, pick up a folder and some markers and do this! Jensen, Bobby Joe 1st Decorate me however you please. School appropriate, of course. 

Homeroom Schedule 1st 9:05-9:40 2nd 9:45-10:20 Homeroom 10:25-10:50 3rd 10:55-11:30 4B 11:35-12:00 Lunch B 12:00-12:30 4B 12:35-1:00 5th 1:05-1:40 6th 1:45-2:20

Wednesday Schedule Period 1 9:05 – 9:35 Period 2 9:40 – 10:10 Lunch A 10:50 - 11:20 Advisory A 11:25 - 12:35 Advisory B 10:50 - 11:25 Lunch B 11:25 - 11:55 Advisory B 12:00 - 12:35 Advisory C 10:50 - 12:05 Lunch C 12:05 - 12:35 Period 4 12:40 - 1:10 Period 5 1:15 - 1:45 Period 6 1:50 – 2:20

3rd period Teacher desk Cabinets Cole W Michael B Ryan W Mattias S Filing cabinet & shelf Cabinets 13 14 17 21 Cole W Teacher desk Michael B Ryan W 12 15 16 20 Mattias S McAllister S 19 22 Jessie R SSR Book Shelf 18 Camden R 23 Zach N 24 Zoe M Desk Mckay C 11 Carson M 25 28 Gavin M 4 10 Spencer M Beatrice M 27 Olivia C 5 Taylor M 9 Lena L 3 Tyler Y 26 Lauren T 29 Blake L Cabinets Sammie W 8 Courtney B 6 2 Emma H 30 Catherine C 7 Jewel A 1 31 Josh Lee Shai F 3rd period Desk Kaylee S Door Teacher Area Teacher Desk Turn in Area Desk Doc Camera Area Door

4th period Teacher desk Cabinets Haley W SSR Book Shelf Conner W Filing cabinet & shelf Cabinets 13 14 17 21 Teacher desk 15 16 12 20 Haley W 19 22 SSR Book Shelf 18 Conner W 23 Kaylee T 24 Natalie L Desk Collin F 11 Ashley T 25 28 Palmer L 4 Wynter B Peyton B 10 27 Grifffin Z 3 Kennedy S 5 Rian W 9 Haleigh 26 Lindsey F 29 Brooke K Cabinets 6 Harleen R 8 Fernando M 2 Annie R 30 Sydney Z 7 Ryan M 1 31 Anam K Lauren C 4th period Desk Ava L Door Teacher Area Teacher Desk Turn in Area Desk Doc Camera Area Door

5th period Teacher desk Cabinets Abby F Autumn F Ali E Mason D Filing cabinet & shelf Cabinets 13 14 17 21 Abby F Teacher desk 16 Autumn F 12 15 20 Ali E 19 22 Mason D SSR Book Shelf 18 Amelia D. 23 Amanda F 24 Nicole L Desk Sydney R 11 Mason M 25 28 Kaity H 4 10 Ellie O. Carson T 27 Luci G 3 Alison B 5 Lynnaya S 9 Amtoj K 26 Coco C 29 Anna J Cabinets 6 Kalista W 8 Christina B 2 Jake R 30 Angela S 7 Aislind D 1 31 Megan V Maddy W 5th period Desk Ceithlinn G Door Teacher Area Teacher Desk Turn in Area Desk Doc Camera Area Door

6th period Teacher desk Cabinets Isaac H SSR Book Shelf Riley B Filing cabinet & shelf Cabinets 13 14 17 21 Teacher desk 12 15 16 20 19 22 Isaac H SSR Book Shelf 18 23 Riley B 24 Colin H Desk 25 Sergio P 11 Kaylie K Julian J 28 Tristin B 10 Elijah H 4 27 Jaz J 5 3 Romeo C Drew 9 Bailey L 26 Tosh N 29 Liam M Cabinets 6 Anthony C 8 Katlyn P 2 Griffin K 30 Breckin W 7 Parker M 1 31 Tristan T Mikey L 6th period Desk Door Teacher Area Teacher Desk Turn in Area Desk Doc Camera Area Door

Advisory Teacher desk Cabinets SSR Book Shelf Desk Elerie 4 Alex Jamie Filing cabinet & shelf Cabinets 13 14 17 21 Teacher desk 12 15 16 20 19 22 SSR Book Shelf 18 23 24 Desk 25 11 28 Elerie 4 10 Alex 27 Jamie 5 Julie 9 3 Aden Brandon 26 Caleb 29 Jay Cabinets 6 Androw 8 Carter 2 Natasia 30 Anna S 7 Camron 1 31 Jacob Anna N Advisory Desk Door Teacher Area Teacher Desk Turn in Area Desk Doc Camera Area Door