Building, Maintaining, And Nurturing Good Relationships Conflict Resolution: This Is Our Most Difficult Task We Will Discuss In This Series.

Introduction As we go through life and deal with others we are sooner or later going to be involved in conflict. This happens at an early age. Little Johnny does not want to share his toys with little Billy. Usually the parents get involved and teach little Johnny to share his things with others. Little ones are very selfish, and the sooner parents teach them not to be selfish, the quicker they will be a joy to their parents.

Some people do not outgrow their childish selfishness. Remember this was the very first attitude we discussed in our series of how NOT to treat others. This is also what led to the first sin. If people do not learn to humble themselves and consider others as more important than themselves, there will be conflict. Philippians 2:3-4 is our theme text. How we handle that conflict will affect how others see us. Not only our brethren, but those who are not Christians will be watching.

How DO We Handle Conflict? Vs. How SHOULD We Handle Conflict? Most people run and hide from conflict. Many of us just ignore it and hope that it will go away in time. Often we shun the one with whom we are in conflict and have nothing to do with them. Sometimes we don’t tell them what they have done to cause the conflict, but we will tell others. Sometimes, we just remain quiet and sort of bottle it up as long as we can. But eventually, things will get out of hand and you will blow up and do things which are not befitting a Christian.

What Are Some Conflicts? It could be something very minor such as the clothes they wear. It could be something major such as teaching false doctrine. Most conflict falls in the middle. Either way, one or both of the parties involved are sharing a conflict. One person can have a problem with another and that other person may never know about it. Perhaps they find out about it in other ways.

One thing we must always be aware of is the fact that if we have a conflict with one of our brethren, we have a problem. The wise thing to do is talk to that person about our conflict. Normally, you do not consider another person to be in conflict with you unless you think they are doing something sinful or wrong. Otherwise, it should not bother you.

If you think your brother is doing something sinful, you should bring it to their attention. In fact, it is your duty. One—they may not be aware that what they are doing is wrong. Two—they will either get mad at you, or thank you because you cared enough for their soul to bring the matter up. Three—we will find that perhaps we made a mistake and did not have all the facts straight and we are the one with the real problem. Four—we may find that they needed help and were not sure how to ask for it.

We all believe that one in sin cannot go to heaven. Unless we mend our ways, we all will be lost, because we all sin (Romans 3:23). None of us are perfect, even though we are supposed to try to be perfect (Matthew 5:48). If we care enough for their souls, we will do our best to assist them to get to heaven. In the process we may help ourselves get to heaven also, because we have done what God wants us to do. Our job is to serve our brethren (Galatians 5:13), and the best service we can perform is spiritual in nature. Sometimes our servitude is physical in nature. But what happens if we say nothing and do nothing about it?

We Will Fail God First, how can you worship God with your brethren when you believe one of them to be a sinner that needs correcting? Can you fellowship sin? Could you sit there and listen to a preacher that you know is out womanizing and drinking all the time? Could you get anything out of his sermons? What about serving under an eldership that is not qualified? That may be extreme examples, but we are trying to make a point.

You know that God will not tolerate or fellowship sin. 1 John 1:5 “God is light and in Him is no darkness at all”. Ephesians 5:11 “And do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them”. 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be bound together with unbelievers;…” 2 Corinthians 6:17 “therefore, come out from their midst and be separate, says the Lord. And do not touch what is unclean; and I will welcome you”.

The Bible has many passages that warn us of having fellowship with darkness and sin. Most of the time that usually means US being involved in sin which is wrong and needs to be stopped. So if you do not resolve your issues with your brother(s), you are probably bothered enough to not serve God faithfully. Our focus in worship is to be directed towards God, but if you are eyeballing, or thinking about one who gives you a problem, you are not directing your attention toward God.

Jesus Addressed This Very Thing Matthew 5:23-24 “If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering”. Here we see that perhaps we have wronged someone, and they have the problem with us. Before we can come to God with a clear conscience, we must make ourselves right with our brethren. If our brother has offended us to the degree that we cannot worship God in Spirit and Truth, we still need to make it right.

Matthew 18:15-17 “And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let he be to you as a Gentile and a tax gatherer”. This is the pattern of church discipline. Romans 15:1-3 (read)

Conclusion This lesson only deals with conflict resolution among brethren. How we resolve conflict in the world is handled differently and by different means. Yet, not matter what we do, we still have to behave like Christians all the time. If you have a problem with anyone who is your brother or sister In Christ, you must resolve that issue, or your soul could be in danger. It is up to you how you handle conflict.