Scissors, Tape, and Flashlights Exercises in editing

A few things to consider today Assessing and revising our leads Cutting, pasting, and reorganizing: showing a healthy disrespect for the draft Getting rid of the clutter Let’s start with leads. What are they?

Leads are like flashlights that shine down into a story… They illuminate an aspect of the subject and establish a direction for the entire piece.

The Activity: Part 1 of 2 Write the title of the essay on a piece of paper. Also write the first sentence of your paper. Find a partner to work with. Look at your partner’s title and first sentence. Does it make you want to read on? Be honest with your partner.

The Activity: Part 2 of 2 Write the rest of your lead on the paper. (Your lead is the first one or two paragraphs.) Look closely at your partner’s lead. Jot down on paper and then discuss the following with your partner: On the basis of the lead, predict what the paper will be about, what its focus will be. If you can, make a list of questions raised by the beginning that you hope the paper will answer. Describe the tone of the paper in a few words. Together think of some different ways to begin each other’s paper?

Remember the Flashlights… You can open scholarly essays in a way that not only engages the reader, but accurately frames what the purpose of the paper is going to be. By considering whether your lead does or does not help readers predict where the paper is going, you can see if you’re on the right track.

Cutting, Pasting and Reorganizing

Activity: Cut-n-Paste Revision (1 of 2) Take the printed copy of your draft and a scissors. Cut up your draft, paragraph by paragraph. Shuffle the pieces. Go through the pile and find the “core” paragraph. (It’s probably the one with your thesis statement.) Set the core paragraph aside.

Activity: Cut-n-Paste Revision (2 of 2) Make two new piles of the remaining paragraphs: those that are relevant to the core and those that don’t seem to be. Play with the order of the relevant pieces. Notice any gaps. Tape together any new order that seems promising.

Getting Rid of Clutter

What is Word Clutter? Think of “clutter words” as “flutter words.” They may look pretty as they flutter around the substance of a sentence, but they are distracting. Clutter is “the laborious phrase which has pushed out the short word that means the same thing.” Fighting clutter is like fighting weeds—the writer is always slightly behind. — from the work of William Zinsser

Why is our writing so cluttered? Most people use word clutter carelessly, without intention, while other people use clutter in the hopes that they will sound more important or because they think it is expected in their profession. But in almost all cases, the use of such phrases should be avoided.

A Few Examples of Word Clutter… Instead Use A great number of times often, frequently a greater number of more a little less than almost a small number of few a large number of many

A Few Examples of Word Clutter… a period of several weeks several weeks a sufficient number of enough absolute guarantee guarantee absolutely essential essential adding together adding advance planning planning advance reservations reservations any and all any as a general rule as a rule

A Few Examples of Word Clutter… at regular intervals of time regularly at some future date sometime, later at 12 noon at noon at 12 midnight at midnight at the conclusion of after at a meeting held here at a meeting here balance against one another balance basic fundamentals fundamentals called attention to the fact reminded came to a stop stopped

Reduce Your Clutter Pick one page at random from your draft. Cut at least 7 words from the page.