Source: http://www.selfgrowth.com HOW TO BE HAPPY ALONE By Prof. T. K. G. Namboodhiri Source: http://www.selfgrowth.com

INTRODUCTION Loneliness is a state of mind. You may feel lonely in a crowd, in a bustling restaurant, or in a business meeting. You may feel contended deep in a forest, far from the nearest human being. Loneliness is really a form of neediness, of companionship or support, that you miss.

WHAT CAUSES LONLINESS? We feel lonely when we miss companionship that we had.-Moving away or death of a loved one. Our family, social group or employer rejects us. Comparison with the happy social networks of others.

SOME TIPS TO OVERCOME LONELINESS There are many methods to get over the feeling of loneliness. A conditioning of our mind, engagement in enjoyable activities like social service, joining book clubs, health clubs etc, & keeping a pet are all ways of overcoming loneliness. Certain tips are given in the following slides.

1. FOCUSS ON THE PRESENT Stop longing for the past. You cannot go back to your happy School/ College days. Bring your attention to the present. Look to the great opportunities for your life lying ahead.

2. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF You are not a celebrity hounded by the news media. Nor are you the rich man next door. You are not anyone but yourself; and that is wonderful. Be happy and proud to be the way you are

3. ENJOY BEING ALONE Learn to be comfortable & happy alone. This will eliminate the compulsion for companionship. Take long silent walks along the beach or in the woods. Go for multi-day hikes. Sleep alone under the stars

4. KNOW THE PURPOSE OF YOUR LIFE You must have a higher purpose in life. For Hindus it is the ultimate union with God. Identify yours. Keep busy with activities that support your purpose. Support & encouragement of others become insignificant in this quest for your purpose.

5. BE OF SERVICE TO OTHERS Volunteer your time to those less fortunate than yourself. This will make you realize that you are one of the more fortunate ones and will bring happiness to you. Service organizations attract the kind of people who can become great friends.

6. JOIN A GROUP Try a book, bridge, or sailing, club Join a kayaking, walking or hiking group. Learn dancing, singing or playing a musical instrument. Socializing will be a bonus.

7. BE PHYSICALLY ACTIVE Walk, do yoga or other exercises. Join a gym or aerobic club. The Endorphins the exercise produces make you happier, and your loneliness vanishes.

8. TURN ON HAPPY MUSIC Find the kind of music that make you happy & play them loudly. Dance or sing to your music. Let the music reverberate within you.

9. HAVE A PET OR A HOBBY Thos who like dogs or cats, having one makes you happy. Playing with it and tending to its needs keep you busy. If you do not have a hobby, develop one which will absorb your attention.

10. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE Know that God is always with you Accept that God is within you, and around you, so that he can help you when needed. You are immersed in God, just like a fish immersed in the ocean. Faith can move mountains

CONCLUSION Loneliness is a state of mind which can be eliminated by conscious effort. Train yourself to be happy alone, keep yourself busy with mental or physical activities, immerse yourself in service to others, work towards your life’s purpose and believe that God is with you & you are never alone. (Source: Jonathan Lockwood Huie, “How to cope with feeling lonely: Tips for coping with loneliness”, Self Growth Com, December 8, 2009)