Listening Chapter 9 ‘The reason why we only have two ears and only one mouth is so that we may listen the more and talk the less.’ Diogenes, in the third century AD © Pearson 2012

The listening process ‘Listening is the process of receiving, constructing meaning from and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages.’ (The International Listening Association 1996, p. 1). © Pearson 2012

Listening in an average working day © Pearson 2012

Facts you should know about listening Listening is possibly the most important communication skill. There is very little formal teaching of listening in schools. Listening skills can be taught. Some people can achieve a 25 per cent gain in listening proficiency. © Pearson 2012

You listen with your mind To hear is not to listen You hear with your ears You listen with your mind © Pearson 2012

Why listen? To influence play help learn Benefit from others’ insights, hear and respond to developing problems, get information to make choices. relate People like others who are interested in them. influence People respect others who understand and respect their ideas and feelings. play To suspend critical judgement and evaluation and ‘just be’ is relaxing. help ‘To help you need to first understand and empathise.’ (DeVito, O’Rourke & O’Neill, 2000) © Pearson 2012

Listening… is an active process includes paying attention includes understanding. © Pearson 2012

Six stages of listening 1. Hearing 2. Attention 3. Understanding 4. Remembering 5. Evaluating 6. Responding © Pearson 2012

Barriers to listening Thinking time lag Lack of effort Preoccupation with self, or worries Preoccupation with external distractions Preoccupation with attitudes Selective listening Expectations Getting ready to speak Wanting to be entertained Letting emotions take over © Pearson 2012

Thinking time lag The average person talks at a speed of about 125 words per minute. Most of us think easily at about four times that rate. This means we have at least 400 words of thinking time to spare every minute a person talks to us. © Pearson 2012

Listening Energy Tank © Pearson 2012

Active Listening A E R © Pearson 2012

Attend Stop – free yourself from distractions. Remove any physical barriers. Give time. Focus mind and body. If appropriate take notes. Compare fact and opinion with your own feelings and beliefs. Consider denotative and connotative meaning. © Pearson 2012

Encourage Demonstrate interest verbally (briefly) and non-verbally. Allow brief pauses. Exercise emotional control: avoid pre-judgement guard your own emotional reactions be aware of your own prejudices. Ask questions to draw speaker out. © Pearson 2012

Research Clarify. Paraphrase – reflect back the message in your own words. Reflect feelings. © Pearson 2012

The Chinese characters which make up the verb ‘to listen’ © Pearson 2012

Paraphrasing Paraphrasing is reflecting the message back to the speaker in your own words. Can clarify your understanding and keep you focused. Also builds connectedness with the speaker. © Pearson 2012

Effective paraphrasing reflects both the content and the feelings, the verbal and non-verbal messages with the same meaning as the speaker but in the listener’s own words © Pearson 2012

Mistakes in paraphrasing Identical content Shallow or surface meaning Additional meaning © Pearson 2012

Unhelpful responses to listening Advising and evaluating Analysing and interpreting Reassuring and supporting Questioning and probing © Pearson 2012

Types of listening Passive Participatory Surface Deep Objective Empathic Critical Non-judgemental © Pearson 2012