Partnering In Your Students’ Success Barbara Morgan, M.Ed., Dean of Students Mary McCormack, M.S., Dean of Student Success June 2017

agenda Help you understand the changes that lie ahead. We believe that parents and family members play an important role in a student’s life throughout the college years; and the more information you have about the experience at Wheelock College, the better able you are to support your student. Our goals for this session are to: Help you understand the changes that lie ahead. Provide information on how to support your student during college. Know what to expect and what Wheelock expects. Know what you should share with the College to support your student.

Why Is College So Stresssssssssful? It is inherently stressful with its multiple transitions new living arrangements new relationships new job loss of previous friendships and new challenges academic demands career choices time management financial responsibilities lifestyle choices

The Balancing Act Embrace your changing role as a parent. Your new role is likely to be that of a mentor, providing encouragement, and guidance, without the control. You are inviting Wheelock as a partner in this next stage. All good partnerships are built on trust. To maintain the best possible communication, we endeavor to operate as a team in the best interest of every Wheelock student. College students are negotiating many changes. At this time, important developmental milestones include: autonomy, sense of purpose, integrity. They must be able to trust in their abilities and feelings as valid sources of information.

Expect Changes For many students, the impulse to challenge assumptions and cultivate experimental self-images intensifies in college. Your student may come home looking different, sounding different, and acting different. Empower your students to examine personal values; encourage them to learn about and respect the values and beliefs of others. Wheelock has a long and valued tradition of embracing diversity and celebrating difference. In addition to a student’s scholarly pursuits, we strive to consider the world outside and our obligation to develop personally and professionally in an increasingly diverse world. http://rhymeswithorange.com/2011/11/13

Getting Your Student Ready Set realistic expectations with your students regarding academics, money, social involvement, drinking, etc. Discuss these with them in a non-judgmental manner and be open to listening. Help your student to establish a budget and teach them how to stick to it. Educate them on financial responsibility before it becomes a problem. Learn about student support services; encourage your student to identify and disclose information that will support their success. Encourage them to be independent and responsible. Refrain from ‘coming to the rescue’ when they face a problem. Encourage them to take responsibility for their own actions and accept the consequences. New Yorker Cartoon –Robert Leighton

Support Your Student’s Choices Encourage your student to set and achieve personal goals and make responsible decisions related to academics, career planning, social interactions, and community engagement. Be open to and promote your student’s EXPLORATION. Understand and support the College’s expectations and commitment to academic excellence and integrity, ethical behavior, diversity, and civility. Assist your student in making the BEST and most realistic choices for him/her. Challenge student to identify, define, and solve problems independently.

What are they REALLY saying? Here are some examples of what students say to us. How would you respond?

NOTHING WRONG WITH PARTYING!

My teacher doesn’t like me (being unfair)

I haven’t made any friends yet

I don’t have to go to class

NO ONE TOLD ME/THEY DIDN’T ANSWER ME.

EVERYTHING IS FINE!

How do I know when to help? Know when to step in to help your student and when to empower them to take responsibility Promote self-advocacy by allowing your student to make decisions independently. Allow your student to accept consequences of actions and accept responsibility for personal errors; urge student to reflect on successes, disappointments and unexpected experiences. Be alert to signs that student is under significant stress, is taking unhealthy risks, or is ill; discuss concerns openly with student and assist student in developing a plan to address the problem. If your student’s physical or mental health is endangered, contact appropriate campus or community authorities.

Communicating with the College Understand that there are limitations to access student records, as outlined by federal requirements in FERPA and HIPAA. FERPA (Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act) protects the privacy of education records, establishes the right of students to inspect and review their education records. When a student turns 18 years old or enters College at any age, all rights afforded to you as a parent under FERPA transfer to the student. HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) is a federal regulation that safeguards health care recipients' personal health information. Our educational and student development philosophy, as well as professional confidentiality codes and Federal laws require us to honor a confidential relationship with students in nearly all matters affecting their lives at Wheelock. Consequently, we do not routinely report students' occasional or ongoing academic, social, medical, or personal problems to their parents. We contact families only when, in our best judgment, a student’s well being requires a family consultation.

Who Should I Call? For Academic Related Matters Mary McCormack, Dean of Student Success mmccormack@wheelock.edu; 617-879-1203 For Student Life Related Matters Barbara Morgan, Dean of Students sdo@wheelock.edu; 617-879-2108

Additional Resources Don’t Tell Me What To Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years, by Helen Johnson Letting Go: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the College Years, by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Teeger You’re On Your Own, But I’m Here if You Need Me: Mentoring Your Child During the College Years, by Marjorie Savage When Your Kid Goes to College: A Parent’s Survival Guide, by Carol Barkin The iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow Up by Barbara K. Hofer and Abigail Sullivan Moore College Parents of America Website http://www.collegeparents.org/

Questions