Communicating

The communication loop Communicating becomes difficult when we try to send and receive messages at the same time.

Encoding and Decoding Encoding- When we talk we put thoughts into codes called words. Decoding- when we receive messages, we take words and translate them into experiences.

When does communication work best? When we have the opportunity to finish a complete message, sufficient time to comprehend, and plenty of time to respond.

The Communication Loop Listening

5 guidelines for effective nonverbal listening 1. Be quiet- Allow several seconds to pass before you begin to talk. If you make up a response before the person is finished, you might miss the end of the message.

Nonverbal listening 2. Maintain eye contact- look at the other person while he speaks. Helps keep you attentive.

3. Display openness You can communicate openness by means of your facial expression and body language. Sit up straight and uncross your arms and legs.

4. Listen without a response. Wait before you respond when someone is talking. We often interrupt with our own stories, opinions, suggestions, and inappropriate comments.

5. Send acknowledgments It is important to periodically let the speaker know that you are still there. Verbal and nonverbal gestures let the speaker know you are there. Head nods and Umhum.

Verbal listening

1. Feed back meaning Briefly summarize what that person said. Example, “Let me see if I understood what you said…”

2. Listen beyond words Be aware of nonverbal messages and behavior. You might point out that the speaker’s body language seems to be exact opposite of his words.

3. Take care of yourself There are times that you don’t want to listen. Be honest Don’t pretend to listen. Just tell them that you are late and do not have time.

4. Listen for request and intentions We can transform complaints into intentions. Try to listen to complaints to find request hidden in them. Example, “The parking lot by the dorms is so dark at night that I’m afraid to go to my car.”