Friends and Friendships

Who is a Friend? A friend is someone you like and who likes you. It is someone you can talk to. A friend is a person who shares similar interests and goals. For instance, you may enjoy going to the mall with your friends. Perhaps you study with your friend. You and your friend may have the same career goal of becoming a lawyer or a firefighter. The important quality you have in common is that you care about one another’s lives.

How do Friendships Begin? Friendships begin and develop when people meet and like each other. You do not automatically have a friend just because you meet someone. Some people are only acquaintances. An acquaintance is a person you greet or meet fairly often, but with whom you do not have a close relationship. It may be a classmate, a neighbor, or the librarian at school. Friendships usually develop from the acquaintances that you have. They are formed with people you are interested in knowing better. They grow into true and lasting friendships as you learn more about one another.

Give and Take Good friendships are based on a give and take relationship. No two people are alike in what they give to you as a friend or in the benefits they receive from you. All friends learn from each other.

Making New Friends Beginning a new friendship is not always easy, but you can be successful if you make the effort. Everyone had to make new friends at times. Old friends may move away, or friendship may change as you grow and develop new interest. Making new friends is a skill that you can learn. As you go through life, you will have many opportunities to develop new friendships. Some may begin easily. Others take more effect, and you may need to keep trying.

What Makes a Friend? When friendships are formed, they are based on caring, sharing, and good communication. These qualities, along with trust and reliability, help to strengthen friendships. Doing your part with working with others and praising your friends when they do well are ways to show that you are a good friend.

Being Part of a Group During adolescence, most teens seek approval from their peers. Peers are people the same age as you. Your peers’ acceptance and recognition help you develop a sense of belonging. Being accepted by your peers strengthens your self-esteem. Peer pressure is the influence your peers have on you, positive or negative. Your reputation, what others think of you, is sometimes based on the group you hang out with.

Changes in Friendships Your friendships will probably change over the years. Some of your friends may move away or transfer to different schools. Some of your friends may have new responsibilities after school. Friendships can also change when you and your friends discover new interests and activities. The important point to remember about changes in friendships is that you grow and learn from them. You may not have chosen the changes, but you can use them to understand more about yourself and others.

Differences in Expectations Has there ever been a time when a friend let you down? Some changes in friendships are due to changing expectations. Expectations are a person’s ideas of what should be or should happen. A common expectation in friendship is to have and to be a best friend. Best friends expect to be able to confide in and trust each other and share common interests. Changes in friendships may occur when someone who was your best friend develops different interests and no longer shares the same interest with you. Changes in best friends are common as you learn what to expect from your friends and what your friends expect from you.

Who is your BFF?