Parenting While in the Midst of the Storm Learning to Manage Stress while yet Parenting Effectively Presented By: Jacques L. Austin LPC-S, NCC

The following pictures are used to illustrate the stress encountered in our daily routines. Although the characters pictured are fictional, the story is real

Lisa is a working Mom with two kids. Her mornings are very hectic Lisa is a working Mom with two kids. Her mornings are very hectic. Each day she struggles to get the kids off to school and herself ready for work. However, lately she has been late for work and feeling overwhelmed.

Her pleas to her husband for help with the kids have fallen on deaf ears. The morning cyclone is left for her to manage alone. Lisa races off to work each morning, barreling through traffic and stressed yet again about the possibility of being late for work.

Lisa works in Customer Service and her time is closely monitored Lisa works in Customer Service and her time is closely monitored. She encounters customers who are irate, angry, and just plane rude. In spite of their hailstorm of insults, she is expected to respond with courtesy and the sound of a smile in her voice.

However, Lisa’s customers are often easier to deal with than her coworkers. You see, Lisa works with a group of Chatty-Cathys, Gossiping-Gwens, and Petty-Pamelas.

Her only moments of peace during the work day are found in her car Her only moments of peace during the work day are found in her car. Lately, she leaves work later in the evening to make up for arriving late. It is after 7 p.m. and she is anxious about going home. Because, just as she feared……….

The kids have not done their chores or homework, and her husband (who has been home since 4 p.m.) is still on the sofa playing playstation. And, everyone is waiting on her to get home to start dinner. Lisa’s evenings are as much a whirlwind as her mornings. Between cooking, laundry, homework, baths, and her third child (a lazy husband)……

She has no time for herself. No time to de-stress or decompress She has no time for herself. No time to de-stress or decompress. Falling asleep is difficult. She is always tense, her mind races, and she is anxious about waking tomorrow………

And doing it ALL OVER AGAIN.

How does Lisa learn to cope with the stressors in her life, and still parent effectively? By understanding the connection between THINKING, FEELING, and BEHAVING.

Positive Thinking Leads To Positive Behavior THINKING – FEELING – BEHAVING Thinking (Thoughts) – Personal messages (self-talk) about an event or situation. Usually developed through life experiences and personal expectations (Core beliefs) Feeling (Emotions) - Expressions of your thoughts. Emotions are intense reactions to how you think, and often a guide into your behavior. Behaving (Actions) – What you do. Your actions (behavior) are usually a window into your pattern of thinking or reaction to how you’re feeling. WHAT’S THE CONNECTION? EVENT Some thing happens. THOUGHT Self-talk about what has just happened (Either negative or positive) FEELING Emotions about what happened begin to develop based on your self-talk. BEHAVIOR Your physical reaction to what happened. CONSEQUENCE A result of your behavior. (Either negative or positive) Positive Thinking Leads To Positive Behavior

Evolution of Decision-Making Event Thought Feeling Behavior Consequence

CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS-CHANGE YOUR WORLD COPING STATEMENTS CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS-CHANGE YOUR WORLD ·       Stay Calm. Just Relax ·       Just breathe, stay focused. ·       I am not going to let this get to me. ·       Slow down, take a few deep breaths and think. ·       She would probably like to see me blow, but I will stay in control. ·       I have the resources. I can handle this. ·       I cannot expect people to act the way I want them to all the time. ·       Is it really worth going off? What is really important here? ·       Try to reason it out. Be respectful, keep it professional. ·       I do not need to prove myself to anyone. ·       I will not be pushed around, but I will not lose it either. ·       Look for the positives. ·       I have a right to be annoyed, but let’s try to reason this out. ·       My muscles feel tight, time to relax.

PPSM Developed by J L Austin, LPC 2008 S.E.L.F AWARENESS CONTROL EXPRESSION EVALUATION PPSM Developed by J L Austin, LPC 2008

THE EVOLUTION OF DECISION-MAKING Learning to TAP INTO YOUR GENIUS BY Jacques L. Austin LPC-S, NCC Available on Amazon.com Jlaustinlpc.com