Romantic Relationships THEORIES

Theories Evolutionary theory Attachment theory Investment theory Ecological theory

Evolutionary theory Natural selection: Survival of the fittest Maximize reproductive success Parental investment: Men and women look for different things Fertility cues Provider cues

Attachment Theory People’s intimate relationships are related to their relationship with their attachment figure Humans have a very strong need to form and maintain stable relationships http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlfOecrr6 kI&feature=related

Attachment Behaviors Depends on the perception of the main caregiver’s availability http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DH1m_Z MO7GU Attachment helps control how close or distant people will be from others The same feelings and mechanisms that keep parents attached to their children may also keep romantic partners bonded

Internal working models of attachment (Ainsworth et al., 1978) Secure: Attachment figure is seen as reliable Trust that others will provide love and support Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment figure is seen as inconsistently available and dismissive Fear abandonment and feel that their needs will not be met Avoidant Attachment figure is seen as absent Defensively detach and withdraw from others

Which one sounds like you? “I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting close to me”.

Which one sounds like you? “I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with others, and this desire sometimes scares people away”

Which one sounds like you? “I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others. I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.”

Four Attachment Styles (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991)

Two dimensions of Attachment (Brennan, Clark, & Shaver, 1998)

Investment theory AKA: Social exchange theory Relationships are like doing business

Main concepts Rewards: pleasures, satisfactions that a person enjoys Costs: Any factor that inhibits a set of actions Constraints: Barriers of abandoning it

Main concepts Comparison Level: Compare the outcome in the relationship to all outcomes known to the member either by direct experience or symbolically Comparison Level Alternative: Contemplating what it might be like to be outside of the relationship Lowest level of outcome that the partner will accept

Main concepts Relationships end when: COSTS > rewards+ constraints + potential alternatives

More Concepts Satisfaction Perceived quality of alternatives Quantity of investments Subjective commitment: pro-relationship activities that help relationships persist relationship stability

Satisfaction vs. dependence Satisfaction level: Positive vs. negative emotions that an individual experiences about the relationship based on needs being met John loves Mary because she fulfills his needs of intimacy Dependence level: the extent to which the person needs the relationship or relies on partner to meet certain needs John needs Mary because his needs for intimacy can not be fulfilled elsewhere

Satisfaction and alternatives When level of satisfaction is high: partner perceives the quality of alternatives to be poor

Commitment and Investment Commitment level: Long term orientation toward a relationship, intention to stay in the relationship, feelings of attachment Investment size: Resources that become attached to the relationship Time, money, self-disclosure, memories Indirect investments: Partner’s friends and family, children etc.

Committment

Pro-relationship activities Accommodative behaviors Tendency to isolate attractive alternatives or threats Willingness to sacrifice for the relationship Tendency toward perceived relationship superiority

Who stays in the relationship?

How are relationships maintained?

Ecological theory and relationships