Dealing with Challenging People Featuring: Dr. Mimi Hull, Speaker/Trainer & Workplace Psychologist 407.628.0669 www.HullOnLine.com E-mail: DrMimi@Hullonline.com Twitter: @DrMimi #DrMimiSpeaks LinkedIn: Dr. Mimi Hull Facebook: /HullAndAssociates

©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM Objectives To discover the difference between best and worst Customers. To start to understand and learn how to respond to the most common challenging people ….The Volcanos, The Brick Walls, The Snipers, The Cranky Pants, The Complainers, and The Chatterboxes. To learn 5 Don’ts when working with challenging people. To have fun! ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

Customer Best/Worst Customer What are the attributes, characteristics and behaviors of a Best/Worst Customer? How do people feel working with that Customer? What are the results or consequences that occur?

©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM Remember: You can’t change the people who are around you But You can change the people you choose to be around! ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

Resist the urge to “change” your Challenging Person Our goal is to help you understand how to deal with them, not how to change them. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM The Volcano Carries around a lot of anger just under the surface. Sooner or later the volcano is going to blow, spewing hot lava all over you. Their rage is out of proportion to what’s happening to them. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

What’s Behind Their Angry Behavior? Frustration, blame, and suspicion Feel let down and threatened Have built up hostility that may be unrelated to their blow-up. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

Dealing With an Angry Person: (Volcano) Listen, Listen, Listen! Make empathizing statements “What I hear you saying is..” “I understand how you might feel that way.” Ask how you can help them Work together for a common goal ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM Hull & Associates

Never, Ever Say… “If you will just calm down!” “If you will just let me talk.” “You’re being unreasonable.” “Exactly what is your problem?” ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM Hull & Associates

The Brick Wall/The Traditionalist Unchanging, unwilling to bend “We’ve always done it this way” Not receptive to new ideas that challenge the current way of thinking ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

What’s Behind Their Behavior? Scared of change “If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it” Stubborn Like things the way they are ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

How to deal with Brick Walls: Skillfully prepare your case Explain the plan fully and professionally Emphasize similarities Think benefits Start small Publicize success ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM Snipers These people are experts in pot shots and sneak attacks, such as: Humorous put downs Sarcasm Disapproving looks Innuendos ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

How to Deal with Snipers Respond to the sniper with a question. “What are you trying to tell me?” A sniper will usually respond with denial or volley the responsibility to you. “I’m only joking.” “Can’t you take a joke?” Speaking up lessens the chance of similar attacks in the future. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

Cranky Pants (Also known as Negative Nellie or Debbie Downer!) Dampen enthusiasm. Say “NO!” first. Shoot down any new ideas. Bring down morale. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

What’s Behind Their Cranky Behavior? They feel stuck. Unhappiness may be unrelated to work. Think they are “realists.” Use it to get their way! ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

How to deal with Cranky Pants: Keep your conversations related to the current situation. Agree with facts but don’t fuel the flame. Limit the time you spend around them. Speak about positive things when with them. “What’s going well?” ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM The Complainer Constantly complains. May point out real problems. Blames everyone else for what’s going wrong. Doesn’t hold themselves accountable for their own choices and actions. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

What’s Behind a Complainer’s Behavior? They are not looking for solutions! Have a strong sense of how others ought to behave. They feel “perfect.” Self validating!!! ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

How to deal with Complainers: Listen attentively, acknowledge what they are saying. Don’t agree or apologize. Ask them for solutions. Be optimistic. “Look at all that is going well.” ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM The Chatterbox Don’t know how to be succinct. Love to hear themselves talk. Don’t let you get a word in the conversation. Think very highly of themselves. Interrupt often! ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

What’s Behind Their Behavior? They generally mean well. They think their ideas are valuable to others. Enjoy being the center of attention. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

How to deal with a Chatterbox: Bring them back to the subject. Stand up when you talk with them. If you enjoy their company, set aside time to chat with them. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

Don’t #1 Don’t take the challenging person’s behavior personally. They behave that way with most people. It’s not about you! ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

Don’t #2 Don’t rationalize their behavior. Other people have similar experiences and are not challenging. You lose control when you make excuses for challenging people. They are what they are! ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

Don’t #3 Don’t fight fire with fire. Don’t try to beat them at their own game. They have been practicing for a long time. You’re a novice by comparison. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

Don’t #4 Don’t try to change them. You can’t change them. You can only change your response to their behavior. By changing your responses, they may change…or they may not. However, you will feel better. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

Don’t #5 Don’t let challenging people reserve a space in your head… Raise their rate and kick them out! ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM

Thanks…and Keep in Touch! Dr. Mimi Hull HULL & ASSOCIATES 407.628.0669 www.hullonline.com DrMimi@Hullonline.com Twitter: @DrMimi LinkedIn: Dr. Mimi Hull Facebook: /HullAndAssociates ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM