February 1, 2017 Entry task: Write the question or prompt Describe a time when you were trying to communicate something to another person and they just were not getting it. (Are you an effective communicator?) Target: Be able to describe three different ways people communicate.

Mrs. Roddan Communication

101 THINGS #3 You should know to seek the advice of a mentor. Not the wisdom of your unemployed party friends.

Due Dates Syllabus due TOMORROW!!

Leadership Points Must have 100 by the end of the semester 50 points at the quarter Worth 10% of your final grade Don’t procrastinate!

Why? Why are we talking about communication in Independent Living? Some say communication is “common sense” would you agree or disagree?

Face to Face How we form impressions ________% Appearance (body language) ________% Tone of voice ________% Words used

Face to Face How we form impressions ___55___% Appearance (body language) ___38___% Tone of voice ___7____% Words used

Communications Sharing information, ideas, thoughts, feelings

As a skill It is difficult to do well It can be profitable

Verbal Key components: sound, words, speaking, and language. 

Non-Verbal Key components: Eye contact Body language – gestures Space Touch Expressions Breathing

Eye Contact Looking away gives the impression that you don’t care to listen. Giving solid eye contact makes the communicator feel like you care.

Body Language Gesture: A gesture is a form of non-verbal communication, made with a part of the body, used instead of or in combination with verbal communication. Examples: shaking your finger, putting hands on hips… any others?

Space Personal space, an updated form of Edward T. Hall's 1966 proxemics, is the region surrounding each person, or that area which a person considers their domain or territory. Often if entered by another being without this being desired, it makes them feel uncomfortable.

Touch Hand holding Hug Universal good touch from teacher to student.

Expressions What we wear on our face: Look of death Anger Disgust Fear Boredom Confusion

Breathing Loud sighs signify…

Active Listening

How to Listen Actively Focus all attention on speaker Establish eye contact Attend: lean toward speaker Nod or use other means of expressing “I’m present and paying attention.”

Four Active Listening Techniques: Reflective Clarifying Encouraging Empathizing

Reflectively Clarifying Listen for “feelings” that are not stated Eliminate your judgement. Rephrase or summarize what the speaker has said to be sure you understand Clarifying Ask the speaker, “are you looking for advice or someone to listen?” Don’t tell speaker what to do! Do not say “well, if it was me…” it isn’t

Encouraging Empathizing Give signals you are really interested and involved. “Uh-huh”, “I understand”, “I see” or “tell me more” Empathizing Actually feeling the other person’s feelings as you listen If sad, the listener feels sad (for the speaker) If happy, the listener feels happy, etc.

I – MESSAGES I – messages are used during those difficult times when you must assert yourself and confront someone about his/her unacceptable behavior so that a solution to the problem can be negotiated.

I – MESSAGES allow you to: Confront people in a positive way. Be open, honest, and straightforward about a person’s unacceptable behavior. Avoid putting people on the defensive. Appeal for help in solving the problem. Communicate ownership of the problem.

“I” messages I feel _________ when _________ because _______________. Freedom to choose to respond without blame.

“I” messages I feel hurt when __you watch tv instead of talking to me. Freedom to choose to respond without blame.

“You” messages Lay the blame on others.

YOU MESSAGES are never well received for several reasons: They make people feel guilty They can be interpreted as blame, put downs, criticism and rejections. They communicate a lack of respect for others. They often cause reactive or retaliatory behavior. They damage the recipients self-esteem. They cause resistance rather the openness to change. They can make a person feel hurt, the resentful. They are often perceived as punitive.