Personal Relationships By: Ashley, Chalce, Brianna, Briana

Defining Personal Relationships A personal relationship is a voluntary commitment between irreplaceable individuals who are influenced by rules, relationship dialectics and surrounding context. Ex. Friends, family, ect. https://youtu.be/PeaguDB-v_c (2:40-3:19

Features of Personal Relationships, Uniqueness. Social relationships- is a participant interact according to general social roles rather than unique individual identities. In other words, the person can be replaced by someone else who takes the same role. The individual person are less important that the roles they fulfill. In personal relationships, the particular people and what they create between them define the connection

Commitment Passion- An intense feeling based on the rewards of involvement with another person. Commitment is the decision to remain with a relationship. Commitment is a decision to stay together despite trouble, disappointment, sporadic restlessness. Commitment grows out of investment, which is what we put into the relationship that we could not retrieve if the relationship ends. Includes material items as well as emotional. Investments are important because they are personal choices to give things that can’t be recovered.

Relationship rules Rules are an unspoken guide on how partners communicate and interpret each other’s communication. Constitutive rules define how to interpret communication. EX. Some people take eye contact in communication as respect and efficient listening while others. Regulative rules govern interaction by specifying when and with who to engage in various kinds of communication. Ex. You may not act the differently in front of your friends versus when you meet your spouse’s family for the first time.

Affected By Contexts ​ Personal relationships are not isolated from the social world. Instead, the surroundings of relationships influence interaction between people ( Dainton, 2006; Felmlee, 2001).​ Our social circle establish norms for such activities as religious involvement, drinking, political activism, participation in community groups, studying, working, and socializing.​ Many social contexts in our lives affect what we expect of relationships and how we communicate in them.​ Social circles and the larger society as well are contexts that influence the relationships we form and the ways we communicate within them.​

Relationship Dialectics​ Relationship dialectics – the tensions between opposing forces or tendencies that are normal parts of all relationships: autonomy/connection, novelty/predictability, and openness/closedness.​ Autonomy/connection – One of three relationship dialectics; the tension between the need for personal autonomy, or independence, and connection, or intimacy.​ Novelty/predictability – one of the three relationships dialectics; the tension  between the desire for spontaneous, new experience, and the desire for routines and familiar experiences.​

Relationship Dialectics​  Openness/closedness – One of three relationship dialectics; the tension between the desire to share private thoughts, feelings, and experiences with intimates and the desire to share private thoughts, feelings, and experiences with intimates and the desire to preserve personal privacy.​ Neutralization – One of four responses to relationship dialectics; balancing or finding a compromise between two dialectical poles.​ Separation – One of the four responses to relationship dialectics, in which friends or romantic partners assign one of the pole of dialectic to certain spheres of activities or topics and assign the contradictory dialectical pole to district spheres of activities or topics. ​ Segmentation – One of the four responses to relationships dialectics; segmentation responses meet one dialectical need while ignoring or not satisfying the contradicting dialectical need.​  Reframing – One of the four responses to relationship dialectics; transcends the apparent contradiction between two dialectical poles and reinterprets them as not in tension.​ ​

Evolutionary Course of Personal Relationship… Sudden changes in relationships do not just happen automatically. Particular experiences and events cause relationships to become more or less intimate(turning points). Changes a intimate relationship negatively. Learning a person has a drug problem. Meeting your spouse parents. https://youtu.be/rbs_mp31lIw Positive effect a intimate relationship

Evolutionary Course of Friendship: *Friendship has six stages* Emerging Friendship Stabilized friendship Waning friendship Interaction based on social roles Friendly relations Moving toward friendship

Evolutionary Course of Romantic Relationship: The romantic relationship has three broad stages: Escalating, navigating, and deteriorating. Escalating (Six steps) Expressing Interest Initial Attraction Proximity Similarity (matching hypothesis) 3. Exploratory Communication Intensifying Communication https://youtu.be/J0G-jXdYCNI Revising Communication 6. Commitment

*Rules, understandings, patterns, meanings…* Navigating NOT static Relationship culture: The nucleus of an established intimate relationship. *Rules, understandings, patterns, meanings…* * Includes how couples manage relationship dialects.

Deteriorating The Breakdown Stop talking during dinner Break away from rules and patterns in their relationship culture Thinking about alternatives Avoid talking about problems Seek social support Accepting the relationship is over. Deteriorating

Digital Media and Personal Relationships Before digital media existed, our choices of friends and romantic partners were largely limited to the people we encountered face-to face. In today’s society we rely solely on social media sites such as Instagram and twitter to communicate, whereas before those sites face-to- face communication, and telephone calls were considered the norm. Social media has also opened the doors for both men and women, to misrepresent themselves, such as editing their pictures, and using another person’s pictures as their own. One of the main concerns about social media is cyberstalking, which allows former friends and former significant others to monitor your life, and also harass you.

Guidelines for Communication  Adapt communication to manage distance Ensure equity in family relationships Avoid intimate partner violence Insist on safer sex

Guidelines for Communication  Adapt communication to manage distance Two of the greatest problems for long distance commitments are the lack of daily communication, and unrealistic expectations Ensure equity in family relationships According to the equity theory people are happier and more satisfied with equitable relations, than with inequitable ones. When we think we are investing more than our partner is, we tend to be resentful and angry. One area that strongly affects satisfaction of spouses and cohabitating partners is equity in housework and childcare. Traditionally women were assigned care of the home and the children because men were more likely to be the primary caregivers, which in today’s society is no longer accurate.

Guidelines for Communication … Not only do women usually do more of the actual labor of maintaining a home and caring for children, they also tend to assume a greater portion of psychological responsibility, which involves planning family activities. 3. Avoid intimate partner violence Intimate partner violence is experienced, and perpetrated by both sexes. Twenty-five percent of U.S women have been violently attacked by husbands, or boyfriends 4.  Insist on safer sex To date over 600,000 people in the united states have died of AIDS. Despite the many dangers, many people still don’t practice safe sex. Good communication skills make negotiating safe sex methods to your partner easier.

Work Cited… Wood, J. T. (2017). Communication mosaics: An introduction to the field of communication. 8th Edition. Boston, MA: Wadsworth.