How to Make Your Writing Better

Common Errors This is a list of mistakes that almost 100 percent of students in both my journalism classes made.

The too-long sentence

Too long! The Video Music Awards, known as the VMAs, appeared on MTV Sunday and honored the singer Rihanna, who was born and raised in Barbados – an island in the Caribbean -- and whose real name is Robyn Fenty.

Better The Video Music Awards, known as the VMAs, appeared on MTV Sunday. The show honored the singer Rihanna, who was born and raised in Barbados – an island in the Caribbean. Her real name is Robyn Fenty.

How can you avoid long sentences? Look at it. Does it look more like a paragraph than a sentence? Read it all at once out loud. If you feel breathless, it’s too long. Look at the number of “ands,” buts” and “becauses.” If you have more than one, consider breaking it up.

The run-on sentence

Incorrect: In the near future, I plan on opening a restaurant, I don’t know where it will be, but I’m excited. Correct: In the near future, I plan on opening a restaurant. I don’t know where it will be, but I’m excited. .

Incorrect: I want to improve my athletic skills, so that I can play in the World Cup, soccer is my passion, and I love it. Correct: I want to improve my athletic skills, so that I can play in the World Cup. Soccer is my passion, and I love it.

The incomplete sentence

Incorrect: Some days I love to get away from the city Incorrect: Some days I love to get away from the city. Go on long car rides and come home with stories to tell. Correct: Some days I love to get away from the city. I go on long car rides and come home with stories to tell. Correct: Some days I love to get away from the city and go on long car rides. I enjoy coming home with stories to tell.

Incorrect: I plan to intern at Power 105. 1 FM Incorrect: I plan to intern at Power 105.1 FM. Standing alongside some of my favorite radio personalities. Correct: I plan to intern at Power 105.1 FM, standing alongside some of my favorite radio personalities.

Too many unnecessary words. Simple = better. Think “lean, mean, clean Wordy  The issue of prejudice is confusing to me due to the fact that I am not cognizant of skin color. .

Prejudice confuses me, because I don’t notice skin color. Better! Prejudice confuses me, because I don’t notice skin color.

Wordy  I was made aware of the fact that my uncle died when I tuned into the television news.

Better! I turned on the news and found out my uncle had died.

Repetitiveness Incorrect Next, I plan to work at a music management company, working with singers and dancers.

correct Next, I plan to work at a music management company, working with singers and dancers.

Incorrect I love to cook and hope to find new and different ways of cooking the foods I love.

Correct I love to cook and hope to find new and different ways of preparing the foods I love.

In two years, I see myself with a great job In two years, I see myself with a great job. A year later, I see myself married with a child. I see myself quitting the job after the baby

To repeat myself…don’t repeat yourself! In two years, I see myself with a great job. A year later, I would like to be married with a child. After the baby, I will quit the job.

How to avoid being repetitive: In journalism, you don’t need to “re-state the thesis” like in essay writing. Find different words. Not: I love soccer and love baseball. Better: I love soccer and enjoy playing baseball. Never say: Like I said before or As I mentioned previously or the “aforementioned….”

Incorrect and inconsistent CAPS; Use caps for proper names; none of these words, from your essays, need CAPS: high school, advertising, political science, event planner, public relations, journalism, media, creative writing, grandfather, graduate school, newsroom, sociology, board of education, producer, director, master’s degree

Passive Voice--uck! Be active, not passive. Don’t let something be done by somebody or something.

Not: A number of things are indicated by these results.

Better! The results indicate a number of things.

not Once the plan is put into place, success can be achieved.

Better Once I put the plan into place, I can achieve success. [note: you must know who the subject is!]

Try this trick:

Heart disease is considered a preventable illness. African Americans were discriminated against in the South. Mistakes were made last year during the Republican presidential debate.

Replace all forms of the “to be” verb with active or action verbs Get rid of: there is, are, were, was, has been, could be…..etc. Do this EVEN if you have to re-work the sentence. Just don’t change the meaning.

Soccer is a sport that creates action. Not  Soccer is a sport that creates action.

Better  Soccer creates action.

It helps to put the subject and the action at the beginning of the sentence! Not: There are three things I care about. Better: I care about three things.

Not The next thing I want to accomplish is to graduate from college.

Better Next, I want to graduate from college.

Not  Professor Villarosa is a good teacher.

Professor Villarosa teaches well. Better  Professor Villarosa teaches well.

Not  The Patriots were the winners against the Falcons in the Super Bowl.

Better  The Patriots beat the Falcons. Poor Falcons—the Patriots swept by them in overtime. New England crushed Atlanta. The Patriots kicked some Falcon tail -- sad! The Falcons lost to the (cheating, ball-deflating) Patriots.

checklist Use spell check! Make sure all names are correct. Unless you’re totally sure, look it up. Read everything over to check for careless errors or typos. Even better, read it over out loud. Get rid of any passive voice. Replace “to be” with active or action verbs.