Area of Study Essays The Introduction a- Developing a thesis b- Introductory sentences c- The ‘ultimately’ sentence 2. Body Paragraphs a- topic sentences b- evidence, technique, effect c- contrast and comparison 3. Conclusions

Sample Area of Study Question on Forming Identity. An individual’s identity is ultimately shaped by their past experiences. How accurately does this statement reflect the ideas represented in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing?

What should a thesis statement do? Provide a response to the key terms of the essay question  Consider my personal opinion on the issue Establish an arguable point which is provocative and contestable Integrate and extend the key terms from the essay question Now bring everything together through active voice –i.e avoiding first person (I believe) and vague language (it seems) “An individual’s identity is ultimately shaped by their past experiences.” I think our identity is shaped by our pasts. Our identity is influenced more by hardship than ease. An individual’s identity is shaped by successfully overcoming obstacles. An individual’s identity is shaped by successfully overcoming obstacles which can lead to a healthy self-image and happiness.

An individual’s identity is shaped by successfully overcoming obstacles which can lead to a healthy self-image and happiness. This is a strong thesis, but it could be even better by showing complexity. How do I do this? Complexity is achieved by considering contrast and difference in ideas rather than just similarities. Consider how opposites work together, for example: death and peace Happiness and sadness hope and despair The thesis above focuses mainly on a positive outcome, but that is not always the case so how can we integrate other outcomes to make it more complex? Do this by writing one long sentence with a semi-colon or two shorter sentences. An individual’s identity is shaped by successfully overcoming obstacles which can lead to a healthy self-image and happiness; however, failure to overcome them can have negative if not tragic consequences.

Introductory sentences Now that you have a developed thesis statement you can introduce your texts, one at a time. Introductory sentences work on three levels: They introduce the composer thereby addressing authorial intention – Jones’s or Yakin’s purpose. They introduce the text type which frames your generic technique analysis - film, poem, novel, etc. They introduce the purpose or function of the text – explores, challenges, confronts, reveals, condemns, etc. They introduce the key ideas and concepts, allowing you to compare and contrast the texts – forgiveness, personal choice, growth, etc.

focuses on the choice to forgive as a path to growth. Notice that introductory sentences do not include techniques or evidence from the texts. Instead, think broadly about the ideas and concepts presented by the different composers in their text as a whole. Jones Yakin examines the impact of past experiences on forming identity through tragedies. focuses on the choice to forgive as a path to growth. Also shows the inability to forgive as a path to disaster. examines the impact of past experiences on identity through context of racism. reveals the challenge of choosing to reject one’s past as a path to growth. examines how embracing one’s past can limit growth.

Putting the introduction together An individual’s identity is shaped by successfully overcoming obstacles which can lead to a healthy self-image and happiness; however, failure to overcome them can have negative if not tragic consequences. Gloria Jones in her novel “Five Bells” focuses on the past through characters trying to overcome the tragedy of death and loss in their lives by forgiving the person who could be blamed as responsible for the loss. Boaz Yakin’s film “Remember the Titans” focuses on characters who must decide to overcome their past culture of racism in order to play a role in a new society. In both texts we see characters who overcome obstacles from their past and enjoy a happy, fulfilled life and characters who can not move on from their pasts and suffer as a result.

Body Paragraphs – topic sentences need to be developed need to be conceptual need to somehow relate to the essay question and your thesis ‘Five Bells’ focuses on tragedy and loss as key elements in one’s past. This topic sentence does not go far enough in its exploration of the the past shaping one’s identity (see essay question) and it fails to address authorial intention. A better version of it might read like this: Jones’s ‘Five Bells’ focuses on tragedy and loss as key elements in one’s past and suggests that forgiving the person responsible for the loss is a productive path to personal growth and fulfilment. Why is this topic sentence better than the one above it? How does it answer the question? How does it show authorial intention?

Body Paragraphs – evidence, technique and effect sentences Make sure you show what effect the technique has: The contrast between Pei Xing, who feels “there are forms of forgiveness that make life go on” and James, who “could not release himself from the pressure of absent others…” explores the power to forgive as a way to rectify the past. This is a great sentence with identification of technique (contrast), embedded quotes (two of them to show the contrast properly) and relates to the essay question (explores identity shaped by the past..) but could be even better by being more specific about types of effects it has…… The contrast between Pei Xing, who feels “there are forms of forgiveness that make life go on” and James, who “could not release himself from the pressure of absent others…” explores the power to forgive as a way to rectify the past and provide a path to a happy and fulfilling life.

Contrast and comparison sentences By the time you have written your second paragraph you will have discussed two texts. So, from your second paragraph onwards you should endeavour to draw a comparison or contrast somewhere in the paragraph. There are a number of ways you could do this: By comparing purpose – Both composers seek to confront their audience by challenging the assumption that the past is powerful but can be overcome. By comparing/contrasting techniques - Whereas Jones employs a setting where her characters are seeking a new start, Yakin’s setting is both the place and the racists culture that characters need to escape from in order to progress. Or, by contrasting the ideas of the past- Whilst Jones’s novel shows that needs to be confronted but can not be left behind, Yakin’s film, emphasises although the past is burdensome, people need to reject outdated beliefs like racism and move forward.

Conclusion Re-state thesis (using synonyms) Bring your two (or more) texts together in one sentence Evaluate (compare the effectiveness of the texts) These texts explore how the past shapes our identities today. Both texts present characters who are able to confront and rationalize their pasts and move on to fulfilling lives as well as characters that made poor choices in dealing with their pasts and suffered as a result. ”Five Bells” focuses on the tragedy of death and loss as an element of our past whereas ”Remember the Titans” focuses on the scourge of racism as element of our cultural past. Most people today have had personal experience with cultural institutions like racism as an element of their past, whereas many people have not experienced death and loss as a part of their past, so the film may resonate with a wider audience than the novel.