Protective Urges: Understanding and Working with the Feelings Underlying Parent-Caregiver Relations Developed by Alicia Tuesta. © 2017, WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

participants and learn Mingle with PITC participants and learn more about each other!

Protective Urges - Agenda 5 Minutes Faculty/participants introductions and introduction to the topic 45 Minutes Recognizing parent’s feelings: Research findings and personal experiences. 25 Minutes Recognizing caregiver’s feelings 15 Minutes The Four Step Process BREAK 15 Minutes Step Four: Develop an Action Plan 1 Hour Marisabel Scenario - Small groups

Important Object Activity Take something that you carry with you that has meaning to you and hold it in your hands. You may choose any item except your cell phone. Hold it and think about the meaning for a moment…

DVD Clip – Protective Urges Clip: Introduction and Key Concepts

Understanding Competency Honesty What Parents Want from Caregivers Research has shown that parents feel reassured when caregivers exhibit three critical qualities: Understanding Competency Honesty Source: National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

DVD Clip – Protective Urges Clip: Working with Parents’ Feelings The Parent’s Need for Understanding The Parent’s Concern for Competence

DVD Clip – Talking Points for Protective Urges Why Parents Sometimes Treat their Children Badly and the Effect this Behavior Can Have on Caregivers

Exploring Teacher’s Positive and Negative Feelings about Working with Families Share with a partner your own feelings about a parent who didn’t manifest protective urges The listener will remind you to talk about your feelings rather than your actions or the actions of others by saying: “And how did that make you feel”

Charting Teacher’s Positive and Negative Feelings about Working with Families

The PITC Four-Step Process Explore your feelings Step 2: Check out your feelings with others Step 3: Seek the parents point of view Step 4: Develop an action plan

Uncover your own deep feelings, rather than focus on the behavior of others Be accepting of your feelings

Clip: Working with Caregivers’ Feelings

Talk about your feelings with colleagues or your program manager to get more clarity about them

Create a relaxed setting to listen and learn about the parent’s perspective At this time, don’t try to resolve any issues

Whether your action plan involves just yourself or you need to do more, plan the steps you’ll take toward a resolution: • Addressing your own issues • Interacting with the family • Finding outside help

Addressing Your Own Issues • Get Support • Handle Your Stress • Set Boundaries Interacting with the Parent • Reflect on the Relationship • Decide on the Content • Plan the Interaction Finding Outside Help • Contact a resource and referral agency • Seek programmatic help • Identify specific services

Clip #6: Caregiver Discusses her Reaction to Issues of Neglect

Scenario Based on Marisabel