Chapter 2: Self-Awareness

Self-Concept Self-concept – Set of perceptions about different aspects of yourself and your abilities Social identity – Part of the self that interacts with others; the self is rated in relation to other people Physical identity – Degree of comfort about your body, appearance, and athletic ability Mental self – How you feel about your cognitive abilities, logic, and reasoning Emotional self – Feelings you have and how those feelings are expressed Spiritual self – Part of you that connects to something greater than yourself

Dimensions of the self Private self – Perceptions of thoughts, fears, hopes, and dreams; how you think about yourself Public self – The part of yourself that you present to the world Ideal self – How you would like to be Congruence – Similarity between private self, public self, and ideal self

Self-Esteem Self-esteem – How you feel about yourself based on perceptions about who you are and what you can accomplish Self-esteem develops from three areas: 1. Social information and interaction 2. Social comparisons 3. Self-observation

Narcissism and Perfectionism Narcissism – Overinflated sense of self where self-esteem is very high and is not supported by facts Perfectionism – Desire to do everything right, full of self-doubt and fear, can cause anxiety Increasing awareness of self-critical nature and all-or-nothing thoughts can help perfectionists cope and change their thought patterns

Improving Self-Esteem 1. Practice living consciously 2. Practice self-acceptance 3. Practice responsibility 4. Practice self-assertiveness 5. Practice living purposefully 6. Practice personal integrity

Improving Self-Esteem Acknowledge where you are Walk the talk – Behave the way you want to function Set realistic goals Concentrate on strengths and demonstrate them Make positive changes in your lifestyle Watch your “self-talk” – Are the statements about yourself accurate and valid?

Cognitive Restructuring Thought distortions – Negative thoughts about the self that are inaccurate All-or-nothing thinking – Viewing things in absolute terms Overgeneralization – Viewing a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat Filtering – Dwelling on the negative, ignoring the positive Discounting the positives – Insisting that positive qualities don’t count

Cognitive Restructuring (cont.) Jumping to conclusions – Concluding that things are bad without any definite evidence Magnification or minimization – Blowing things out of proportion or shrinking their importance Emotional reasoning – Reasoning from how you feel Global labeling – Calling yourself names after perceived defeat Blame – Blaming yourself for things you are not responsible for

Locus of Control Internal locus of control – Believing you have control over life events External locus of control – Believing an outside source, like fate or other people, controls life events Strategies for developing an internal locus of control: 1. Changing self-talk 2. Changing aspects of your environment 3. Trying new activities

Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure – Process of intentionally revealing information about yourself that others would not normally know Requirements for self-disclosure: Deliberate, significant, and not already known by the other person Self-disclosure can help people clarify their own thoughts and feelings, and build relationships with others

Johari Window Four categories of self: 1. The Open Self – All of the information that you and other people know about you 2. The Blind Self – Part of you that others can see and you cannot; often called your “blind spot” 3. The Hidden Self – Information about yourself that you know but keep hidden from others. Keeping information hidden contributes to isolation and anxiety 4. The Unknown Self – Part of you that is outside of your conscious awareness

Johari Window

Shadow Self Shadow self – Parts of ourselves that we prefer not to own; often originates from childhood experiences The shadow self can impact an individual’s behavior if he or she does not explore it. The shadow self can cause: Exaggerated feelings about others Negative feedback from others Interactions that are troubling for others, impulsive acts Exaggerated anger over other people’s faults

Masks Masks – Form of protection against what others might think of us Masks can be used to gain approval from others. People often wear masks for a long time to pretend to be what others think they are. Distinction between wearing masks and having different roles in life

Getting Attention Everyone wishes to be noticed and attended to. The need for getting attention often motivates behavior. Negative attention is better than no attention for some people. Power victim – An individual who seeks negative attention and adverse reactions from others

Physical Contact Kangaroo care – Skin-to-skin contact with premature infants Infants who are massaged and touched cry less, sleep more, weigh more, are more active and alert, and tolerate noise better than infants who are not massaged. Touch releases oxytocin, which promotes bonding, trust, and positive feelings about others.

Big Ideas: Chapter 2 Our self-esteem is affected by events early in life before we had the cognitive capabilities to deal with them rationally. Self-esteem improves when you accomplish something. It is not the case that you must improve your self-esteem before you can accomplish something. Having good self-esteem is different than being egotistic, narcissistic, or a perfectionist. The more you know about why you act as you do, the better able you’ll be to take control of your life.