The keys to well-behaved children. Discipline & Guidance The keys to well-behaved children.

Positive Discipline http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tBbL7VcNh0

Guidance CONTINUAL long-term influence on behavior Guide through example, word, action Advice Can be positive or negative

Discipline Behavior medication when needed Teach/train behavior by instruction and exercise

Punishment Penalty inflicted for wrongdoing, a crime or offense Verbal, withhold privileges negatively, hit, spank, hurt Temporary and doesn’t teach self-discipline Demeans child

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAyuhfZ85nE

Why do they do it? Reasons for Misbehavior

1. Normal behavior for the child’s age The action is age and developmentally appropriate Caregiver: Have appropriate expectations for the child’s developmental age

2. Natural curiosity The child is curious to know what the result or response would be for the action Caregiver: Provide opportunities to experiment and satisfy curiosity

3. They do not know any better Inadequate or misunderstood instructions They are trying something new and don’t realize the consequences Caregiver: Have appropriate expectations for the child’s developmental age. Make sure instructions are clearly said and understood

4. To get attention The child just wants the caregiver’s attention – they prefer positive attention, but negative is attention too Caregiver: Give attention only to that which you want to be repeated and ignore questionable or undesirable behavior.

5. To get power Children want some power and control in their lives Caregiver: Refuse to engage in power struggles. Give children choices for what they want to do, wear, ear, etc. Listen to their ideas.

6. For revenge Children want to do what they want without anyone getting in the way Caregiver: Discuss the mistaken goal, pay attention to appropriate choices, and provide love.

7. Feeling inadequate or incapable Constantly being corrected or being given negative reinforcement might make a kid quit trying because they are afraid to fail Caregiver: provide encouragement for their successes and attempts. Refrain from jumping in or fixing every task

8. The need to feel that they belong Wanting to find a place in a family or peer group where they fit in. This place may be positive or negative, but the need is met. Caregiver: Provide unconditional acceptance, concern, and interest in the child.

Spanking What do you think?

Spanking….Right or Wrong??? http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/07/health/spanking-mental-illness-reaction/

Tough Love vs. Spanking Most of America’s population thinks it is improper to spank children. I recently heard from a friend who has tried other methods to control their kids when they have one of “those moments”. One that she found very effective was to just take the child for a car ride and talk. They usually calmed down and stopped misbehaving after their little outing together. Here is the photo of one of those sessions with my friend’s son in case you would like to try this technique.

Discipline Techniques Each child is different and different things will work for each child.

Positive Statements Clearly State what the child is expected to do instead of telling them what not to do Example: “Walk in the house” vs. “Don’t run in the house” Get down on the child’s eye level to talk

Change these into Positive Statements: 1. Don’t stand on the table. 2 Change these into Positive Statements: 1. Don’t stand on the table!!! 2. You are being very bad! 3. Don’t chew with your mouth open, that’s disgusting! 4. I can see your underwear. Put your dress down now!

Redirect Attention If a child is doing something you do not want them to do….give them something else to do. Distract them with another option Example: Have them jump on a trampoline instead of a bed                                                             

Reverse Attention Ignore negative behavior when possible and reinforce the positive POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT Example – if their room is always messy, but one day they happen to have a really clean corner, then make a big deal out of the clean corner!

Time Out Remove child from situation causing heightened emotion until they have calmed down Used sparingly, after other techniques have been applied Use a place with NO distractions One minute for each year of age Make an effort to notice when child makes better choice after a time out

Time Out Video Clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFZInf15_QM Really cheesy but good!

Loss of Privilege Remove a privilege if behavior is inappropriate. Lots of different privileges can be removed. Be consistent! Follow through.

Setting Limits Setting a guideline for behavior State limits clearly and firmly Use consequences as a form of discipline when rules are broken Give your child the WHY for the limits.

Setting Limits - MORE Some parents struggle with setting limits, but limits are GOOD for kids. Limits show children what to do and say and help them cope with their impulses and anxieties.

Limited Choices Give children opportunities to make choices within caregiver’s limits Limit the number of options provided This gives a child practice making decisions and they feel in control of the situation                                                                 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL8kcHlzem0

Natural & Logical Consequences Natural: occur without interference – let nature take its course Logical: occur with interference from caregiver Related to misbehavior Not done in anger Short duration Provide opportunities for child to learn

Super Nanny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRfRrP5ZeI8

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Authoritarian Parenting Parent is in control. Child is forced to obey. Parents are strict, no room for freedom. Child may feel scared of parent or want to rebel.

Video Clip - Authoritarian http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPpqt8wA-MM

Permissive Parenting Child is in control Parent may threaten but never follows through. No consistency. Child may feel that parents don’t care about them. Can show at least 3 minutes then skip 6 minutes into video Second link start at 1 and a half minutes in

Video Clip - Permissive http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oknZ-Hp5QEw

Authoritative (Democratic) Parenting Balance of both types. Parent sets rules, child expected to obey. Child allowed more freedom as responsibility increases. Child may not like the rules but they are fair & consistent.

Video Clip – Authoritative/Democratic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHRWZEnNvHA

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