Put Me In Coach… Oh Wait I’m Not Ready Put Me In Coach… Oh Wait I’m Not Ready! Working with Self Sabotaging Students

Jessie Karner Assistant Director of Academic Advising Worcester Polytechnic Institute First-Year Students Supervise the Community Advisors and Senior Community Advisors Undecided Students Warning and Probation Students “Other Duties as Assigned”

Worcester Polytechnic Institute 4300 Undergraduate Students Students are coming from the top 10% of their high school class Majority STEM Institution Faculty Advisor system, our office serves as a support to students 43% Women, 57% Men Four seven week terms throughout the year Academic Warning/Academic Probation/ Academic Suspension

What is self-sabotage?

Program Agenda Impetus for the Program Defining Self-Sabotage Identifying Self-Sabotage Recognizing different kinds of self-sabotaging behavior Group Discussion Theory for the Academic Advisor Tips and Tricks for Working with Self-Sabotaging Students Questions/Comments/Sharing of Best Practices

Impetus NACADA ADVISING AND ACADEMIC COACHING INTEREST GROUP Coaching has been found to be an integral part of life success for several years. Today, coaching is becoming a viable addition to student success in the academic world. Coaching does not have to be alternative to advising; coaching and advising can be intertwined to increase the chances for students to be successful – in college and in life! Ultimately, the advisor/coach should have the skills to: Identify what the student wants to achieve; Encourage the student to look within to learn more about self; Allow/support the student to generate solutions and strategies to problems, Teach the student to be responsible and accountable for his or her actions/inaction and decisions

Impetus Students enter our offices regularly looking for assistance, guidance, and support We work with these students to make sure they are prepared for their courses Often they come back and explain that they have failed an exam or course because they have not completed the work, or not completed their work to their best ability They have sabotaged their success and preparation

Impetus In a generation of constant gratification how do we help students see what is important? How do we help students who sabotage themselves? How do we change the sabotaging behavior?

Defining Self-Sabotage http://www.uq.edu.au/student-services/counselling/defeating-self-sabotaging-behaviour “Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then we go about making sure it doesn’t happen” – Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby “Self-sabotaging or self-handicapping behaviour is behaviour that gives you a plausible excuse for failure or lack of progress” – University of Queensland “Self-sabotage is when part of your personality acts in conflict with another part of your personality”

Ways Students Engage in Self-Sabotaging Behavior Fear of Success/Fear of Change Decision Paralysis Time Management Woes Trivial Distractions Lack of Responsibility Negative Self-Story Over Planning http://agilelifestyle.net/self-sabotage

Reasons Students Engage in Self-Sabotaging Behavior http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/stop-self-sabotage-behaviour/ Familiarity of Failure Feeling unworthy Bad habits Need for excitement Unconscious need to be in control

Identifying Self Sabotage https://www.melbournechildpsychology.com.au/blog/self-sabotaging-behaviours-students/ Julian Edelman Early to their appointment Always on top of appointments and commitments Not confident talking about tests from last week Avoids answer to “How did it go?” Didn’t actually go to the exam What would you say to Julian in this situation? In what ways is Julian Self-Sabotaging? How would you address the self-sabotaging behavior?

Identifying Self Sabotage https://www.melbournechildpsychology.com.au/blog/self-sabotaging-behaviours-students/ Rob “Gronk” Gronkowski Planning to discuss test taking strategies Not concerned about the History Exam Still needs to study an hour and fifteen minutes before the exam Distracted by many different things What do you say to Gronk before their History final? In what ways is Gronk self-sabotaging? How do you address the larger issue of the self-sabotaging behavior?

Theory to Aid Self-Sabotaging Behavior Russel Haber from the University of South Carolina shares the 4 H’s for helping students through self-sabotaging behavior https://dus.psu.edu/mentor/old/articles/100421db.html HEAR HOOK HOPE HOLD

Theory to Aid Self-Sabotaging Behavior HEAR Listen carefully to what the student is sharing, make the student feel as comfortable as possible HOOK HOPE HOLD https://dus.psu.edu/mentor/old/articles/100421db.html

Theory to Aid Self-Sabotaging Behavior HEAR HOOK Let the student know that you care about them, and that you are here to help them, think about referring them to counseling services HOPE HOLD https://dus.psu.edu/mentor/old/articles/100421db.html

Theory to Aid Self-Sabotaging Behavior HEAR HOOK HOPE Demonstrate hope or belief in the student so that they feel more confident in themselves HOLD https://dus.psu.edu/mentor/old/articles/100421db.html

Theory to Aid Self-Sabotaging Behavior HEAR HOOK HOPE HOLD Allow students to feel safe in your office to share their struggles https://dus.psu.edu/mentor/old/articles/100421db.html

Focus on what is and what is not working http://www.terrilevine.com/articles/sabotaging-behaviors.htm Finding that you think and speak a lot about what is going wrong can make you feel dissatisfied and can quiet your sense of purpose and ambition Ask: “What is going right?” What IS working?” Keep evidence of what is working so you can change your way of thinking

Don’t Be Stuck in Fear Put the focus on the present http://www.terrilevine.com/articles/sabotaging-behaviors.htm Put the focus on the present Can’t control or predict the future or other’s behaviors, focus on what you can control

Have more self-value Remember successes and accomplishments http://www.terrilevine.com/articles/sabotaging-behaviors.htm Remember successes and accomplishments Have pride in what you are good at and don’t focus on failures Focus on what you can do

Stop comparing yourself to others http://www.terrilevine.com/articles/sabotaging-behaviors.htm Comparison doesn’t motivate us to do more or be better Recognize the 5 best qualities about yourself Understand what you value most in your life

Recognize Successes http://www.terrilevine.com/articles/sabotaging-behaviors.htm When a student meets a goal, make it a big deal for the student Discuss how these successes happened and make sure they are bringing students satisfaction

Help students understand their “Why” http://www.terrilevine.com/articles/sabotaging-behaviors.htm Why are you at college, why do you study this major, why do you want to be successful If a student understand what is important to themselves they will be more motivated to continue to succeed

Questions?

Jessie Karner jskarner@wpi.edu

References Advising and Academic Coaching Interest Group. (n.d.). Retrieved February 08, 2016, from http://www.nacada.ksu.edu/Community/Commission-Interest-Groups/Theory-Practice-Delivery-of- Advising-I/Advising-and-Academic-Coaching-Interest-Group.aspx   Advising the Defeated toward Achievement: A Guide to Helping Students with Self-Defeating Behavior. (2010). Retrieved February 08, 2016, from https://dus.psu.edu/mentor/old/articles/ 100421db.html Defeating self-sabotaging behaviour. (2014). Retrieved February 08, 2016, from http://www.uq.edu.au/student-services/counselling/defeating-self-sabotaging-behaviour How to Stop Self-Sabotage Behaviour. (n.d.). Retrieved February 08, 2016, from http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/stop-self-sabotage-behaviour/ Khoun, T. (2013)11 Subtle Ways You Commit Self-Sabotage Without Knowing It. Retrieved February 08, 2016, from http://agilelifestyle.net/self-sabotage Levine, T. (2007). TERRI LEVINE THE GURU OF COACHING SM. Retrieved March 08, 2016, from http://www.terrilevine.com/articles/sabotaging-behaviors.htm Self-Sabotaging Behaviours in Students. (n.d.). Retrieved February 08, 2016, from https://www.melbournechildpsychology.com.au/blog/self-sabotaging-behaviours-students/