6th Grade Bullying Presentation Mrs. Kole – School Counselor Mr. Swartz - Dean

Statistics on Bullying Approximately 25 – 30% of students say they have been bullied at school. Most bullying happens in middle school. The most common types are verbal and social bullying. Young people who are perceived as different from their peers are often at risk for being bullied. When bystanders intervene, bullying stops within 10 seconds 57% of the time The Effects of bullying can be carried into adulthood. Source: Stopbullying.gov

What is Bullying? Bullying is repeated, chronic infliction of physical hurt or psychological distress on another person. Bullying is aggressive and unwanted behavior with the intention to harm, intimidate or humiliate the victim. Bullying is real or perceived imbalance of power between the aggressor & victim. * LCPS Policy Student Conduct Code 8-41

Bullying; Mistreatment; Conflict Bullying – intentional, repeated, hurtful, imbalance, consequential Mistreatment - treat someone badly, limited, meanness, hurtful, consequential Conflict – difference of opinion, disagreement A conflict between equals is not bullying. (arguments, peer dispute, ordinary teasing, horseplay).

Are you a Bully? Learned Behavior Seeks Power Hurtful Aggressive Angry   Seeks Power Hurtful Aggressive Angry Reject Rules Use Others Learned Behavior

FORMS OF BULLYING Physical hitting, shoving, grabbing Verbal repeated harmful teasing, name-calling

Social spreading rumors, shunning or excluding Sexual Harassment inappropriate comments and touching

Cyberbullying Use of the Internet or Phone: Instagram Finsta Kik Snap Chat Twitter Texting/ Sexting (Both boys and girls engage in this type of bullying)

Are you a Target/Victim? Not fitting in Stands out Weaker Scared Angry Picked on Low Self-Esteem Isolated Sensitive Insecure

The Target/Victim Targets are chosen because of their reaction to a situation. You can learn strategies to combat bullying behaviors

What happens to kids who are bullied? Grades drop Attendance declines Avoid school or classes Physical symptoms stomachache, headache Anger Sad, isolated, alone Depression Suicide

Are you an Instigator? Spread rumors Gossip Keeps things going Thinks it’s fun Watch like a bystander ___________________ Afraid of the bully Aligns with the bully Need for belonging - Insecure

Are you a Bystander? What is a bystander?: Bystanders can: Not directly involved but may observe it on a continual and repeated basis. Bystanders can: Feel powerless Scared Unsure what to do Align with bully

Why don’t bystanders do something?: They are not aware of the distress the bully is causing the victim Fear they might be the next target Previous experiences of telling an adult and nothing happened They begin to believe what the bully says about the victim (i.e. blaming the victim) ______________________________________ Someone continues to get bullied because bystanders didn’t help

Why is this a problem? If you stand by and watch it happen and do nothing…its as if you are participating in the bullying. If you are not part of the solution, you may become part of the problem.

Tattling vs.Telling Tattling (snitching): informing on someone for personal gain (ex: “if I tell on Johnny then it will make me look better to the teacher”) Telling (Seeking Help): attempting to stop someone from getting hurt (ex: “I am going to tell an adult that Johnny is planning on beating up Bobby after school today at the bus stop”) Virginia Youth Violence Project, UVA, Guidelines for Responding to Student Threats of Violence. Peter L. Sheras, Ph.D and Dewey G. Cornell, Ph.D.

What Bystanders Can Do STOP BULLYING Befriend the victim Don’t make fun of the situation or students Be an UPSTANDER: Tell the bully to STOP BULLYING Befriend the victim Report – give details of what you know

Remember: If a bystander intervenes the bullying will stop over 50% of the time within 10 seconds!

What Targets/Victims Can Do Stay Away Stay away from places bullies hang out Walk Away Avoid the bully by walking away with dignity

Assertiveness Be Assertive Look Assertive Act Assertive State your position clearly and firmly. “I don’t let people push me around” “ Look, don’t say that stuff about me anymore” “Leave me alone” “Back off and keep your hands to yourself” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ “Why are you still teasing me when I told you to stop.” “I’ve said to quit saying that. What’s your problem?” “

appropriate to deflect attention. Humor Responses Humor Use humor when appropriate to deflect attention. Example: Bully: “That’s an ugly shirt.” Target: “Thanks, I got it at the ugly shirt store.” Example: Bully: “ You have a brain like a jelly fish.” Target: “ Thanks, I love to eat fish for dinner and put jelly on my toast.”

Repeating your answer over and over again “ Broken Record Repeating your answer over and over again “ Example: “No, I won’t give you my money, No I won’t give you my money….” Example: I’m not going to listen to you, I’m not going to listen to you . . .

Talk to people you trust parents, counselors, teachers, deans, friends Use Your Allies walk in groups or pairs Talk to people you trust parents, counselors, teachers, deans, friends

Talk to a trusted adult, usually doing this makes things better Tell An Adult Talk to a trusted adult, usually doing this makes things better

Participate & Socialize Participate – choose activities you are likely to excel or enjoy. Focus on what you do well and an area of interest. Socialize – mix in rather than be left out.

What to do when Cyberbullied

The Bottom Line! Bullying is NOT tolerated at Harper Park Middle School. If you are caught bullying someone, there will be serious consequences! Reporting bullying to an adult is NOT the same as being a tattle tail! Finding an adult or getting help makes you a good person and a great friend!

Bullying True or False? 1. Bullying is just teasing. T F 2. Some people deserve to be bullied. T F 3. Only boys are bullies T F 4. Victims and bullies are never the same. T F 5. Bullying is a normal part of growing up. T F

Bullying True or False? 6. Bullies will go away if you ignore them. T F 7. Bullies are insecure and have low self-esteem. That’s why they pick on other people. T F 8. It’s tattling to tell an adult when you’re being bullied. T F 9. The best way to deal with a bully is by fighting or trying to get even. T F 10. People who are bullied might hurt for a while but they’ll get over it. T F

Be There, Be Ready, Be Kind