Presenter: Shawn Kent Hayashi The Professional Development Group Opening: What would you like to change? Have you given that some thought? Another way of saying this is, “What would you like to create that you do not now have or experience? Sit with that a moment! Are you focused on what you want to create? Or are you taking about the lack of what you want? Focus on what you want to create -- it is the by product of the desired change. Then ask yourself, “who could I talk to that would help open doors, give me insights, ideas and inspiration to create the desired change? Now we are ready for Conversation for Change: 12 Ways to Say It Right When It Matters Most Presenter: Shawn Kent Hayashi The Professional Development Group

Conversations Determine…

3 Areas of Focus for Discussion Today: Emotional Intelligence Conversations for Change Conversations for New Possibilities

90% of the difference between star performers and average performers is related to Emotional Intelligence!

“Emotionally Illiterate”

EQ What You Need to Know What Emotional Intelligence really is = 7 Emotions and 5 Competencies working together consciously How to spot the 7 emotions in yourself and others How to grow your EQ by processing yourself thru more emotions

7 Chemically Identifiable States in the Human Body Love Joy Hope Sadness Envy Anger Fear

What is Your Emotional Wake? Grandmother

Emotion trumps competencies, behavior, and character

: It takes 5 positive emotional experiences to dilute one negative emotional experience 5:1

Imagine the differences between approaching someone while feeling/coming from Hope, and then at another time feeling/coming from Fear. What is observable in the two situations?

Self Awareness … then Self Regulation

Once an emotion has been triggered the evidence of it is in the body for 4 hours. Unless we process or guide ourselves thru it…

Emotions are Contagious!

Who would knowingly create a de-spirited team?

5 Competencies of Emotional Intelligence Self Awareness Self Regulation Motivation Empathy Social Skills

“You should not feel that!”

If you would like the whole chapter on Emotional Intelligence it is a gift to you go to www.theprofessionaldevelopmentgroup.com/conversation/

“In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find them selves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” Eric Hoffer (1902- 1983)

Do you know what this is?

Conversation for Change

Opportunities to use a Conversation for Change: A significant change is needed or has just occurred A new leader joins the team A team member’s performance is not meeting expectations Your boundaries need to be changed or reinforced You want to open a dialogue about the gap between where you are and where you want to be

When a Conversation for Change is Missing We do not innovate or create new products and services We may be ignoring what is going on around us Our competition may leapfrog over us in the market place We may not be taking care of our health, eating well, getting enough exercise and rest We may not accept that when a new leader joins the organization it will bring about change Ignoring a team member’s performance issues may bring other people down too

Phrases and Questions to Start a Conversation for Change: We could make a meaningful difference if we … A vision that really inspires me is … What would we like the new normal to be? Google and Apple created positive change and I think we could too if we … Are there trends that are occurring around us that we have not discussed? If we got in front of the changes that we think are coming, what would it look like?

Phrases and Questions to Start a Conversation for Change: Our pace of change is the new normal, let’s identify the ways we can help others on our team to understand why this is the truth so we can all become energized by the exciting possibilities. I have a dream that we could …

What is the difference? Hershey Park 1907 Knobles Grove 1926 Disney Land 1955 and Disney World 1971 Disney created a goal that each year a new attraction would be built at both parks. This goal, and the ongoing conversation focused on keeping this spirit of imagination alive, set the Disney Parks apart from the rest.

Conversation for Creating New Possibilities

When New Possibilities are missing…

"Imagination is everything "Imagination is everything. It is a preview of life's coming attractions.” Albert Einstein

Your Challenge: Create a list of 100 things, services, and experiences you want to create!

When was the last time someone asked, “Let me show you my dirty laundry!” I do not have to offer drama or be the mirror for someone when it does not support my intentions for myself, my team, and my business. Dirty Laundry Conversations are a bad habit of human conversation, and second nature for many of us. Becoming aware of this pattern helps us create better conversations in the office, at conferences, during board meetings, and with our bosses. Change the conversation by asking, "What do you want to create next?"

Clear the Shelf -- make room for new

My parents recently visited me for a week, and we had a delightful time together, visiting several fun and interesting places. On one occasion during this visit, we were seated in my kitchen, drinking iced tea, when my mother brought up some painful memories from our past. She didn't seem to have a point in bringing up the memories, so I said gently, "Mom, help me understand where you're taking this conversation by bringing this up. Is there something you want to work through related to that?" She replied, "No, it just crossed my mind and I blurted it out." I walked over to the back door, opened it, and said, "Let's blow that out of the room and let it go, okay?" We had a laugh together and did just that. We were able to relax and have fun. We focused instead on the question, "What do you want to create next?" We can do this in the office too. In the past, I could've gotten stuck in a painful question that a peer asked at work, and I might have spent hours or days struggling with it, talking it over, and thinking it was purposeful. Have you ever spent time silently fuming? This is emotionally draining and does not produce anything worthwhile for anyone. Create a new possibility for yourself!

Questions? Ask Shawn Kent Hayashi a question at www.ShawnKentHayashi.com Or receive her Communication Tips emails by subscribing at www.TheProfessionalDevelopmentGroup.com

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