How to Deal with Difficult People

How to Deal with Difficult People Officer Shannon Purkiss DWI Task Force Officer, Drug Recognition Expert San Antonio Police Department Shannon.purkiss@sanantonio.gov

Objectives Recognize Aggressive vs. Assertive behavior. Distinguish between reacting and responding. Examine how we communicate. Recognize the stages of aggression. Develop de-escalating skills. Identify things not to say to anyone. Ever.

Confrontation Confrontation is an inevitable part of our job.

The Public Expects Officers to Have… Communication skills Listening skills Interpersonal skills Professionalism Community awareness

Tipping the Scale… Reason vs. Emotion -When a person is reasonable, they are less emotional and reactive. -When a person is emotional, they are less reasonable and more reactive. GOAL: Control emotion to maximize reasoning abilities.

Be the Model Assertive Behavior: Achieved when an individual is able to communicate their needs, desires and expectations while still respecting another individuals rights.

Aggressive vs. Assertive Behavior Aggressive officers REACT to events. Assertive officers respond to events.

Reacting vs Responding When reacting, people don’t say what they mean! An authority figure reacting to words is incapable of recognizing and responding to underlying issues. When we react, the “act” controls us. When we respond, we comprehend and answer appropriately--communicating control and assertiveness.

Benefits of Respect If we treat people well when they do not handle themselves well: It has a calming effect on them and us. It shows professionalism. It communicates competence. It allows us to maintain tactical awareness and avoid tunnel vision. It looks good on video.

How We Communicate is Key We communicate verbally and non-verbally. Vocal tone and body language contribute significantly to the message you send. You can say the right thing; but if you appear meek or hostile, your words may not achieve the desired outcome.

Don’t Confuse Sympathy with Empathy Sympathy means to share feelings. Empathy is when you momentarily stand in another’s shoes. TACTICAL EMPATHY is a strategic skill officers MUST learn and practice.

The Stages of Aggression Initial tension and frustration Verbal attack Loss of control

What Happens to You When someone directs anger at you, you may tend to get angry at them, or... your mind may blank so you can’t think of what you want to say or do.

De-escalating Aggression Identify yourself Hear them out Paraphrase Explain your position Explain positive options Explain negative options Last chance,

Verbal Judo 7 things not to say to anyone. Ever.

Verbal Judo Hey you! Come here! Calm down! I’m not going to tell you again! Be more reasonable! Because that’s the law! What’s your problem? What do you want me to do about it?

Speaking “Peace Language” Peace language is professional because it enhances opportunities for achieving voluntary compliance.

The End Result The officer anticipates trouble and moves to prevent it… …rather than escalating the situation.

Questions?