Helping People Grieve and Grow Grief Recovery Inc. Helping People Grieve and Grow 4622 Still Meadow Dr. Saginaw, MI 48603 (989) 529 - 9928

Nobody is a Nobody!!!!!!!

Recent Study A recent study found that about 40% of kids who attempt suicide, the first try is in Elementary or Middle School.” Rochman, Bonnie. Family Matters, Time Health

Suicide Suicide is not about Death Suicide is about ending pain

College Suicide #1 cause of death of college freshmen in U.S. (SAMSA 2013) #2 cause of death of all college students (SAMSA)

You Do the Math Experts claim that one in every ten college students at a typical four year university is clinically depressed CMU – approx. 28,000 students Only one in five seek treatment American Psychiatric Assoc. 2012

Clinical Depression A set of signs and symptoms affecting not only mood, but also: Mental and physical vitality Self esteem Self confidence Several bodily functions The Dana Brain Science Guide, Charles Dana Foundation, www.dana.org

You Do the Math It is estimated that depression increases the risk of a first suicide attempt by at least 14—fold Over half of all college students who suffer from depression will eventually attempt suicide at least once, and more than 7% will die as a result. Source: American Psychiatric Assoc.

Do School Personnel Make a Difference? “School personnel can have significant, positive impacts on improving the academic, social and emotional development of children with depression without being professional therapists. “ Learning about depression can and does make a difference. Huberty, Thomas J. Depression: Helping Students in the Classroom. National Association of School Psychology.

Myths About Suicide People who talk about suicide rarely attempt it Talking about suicide will make it happen The tendency toward suicide is inherited Most suicides happen at night Suicidal people leave notes If a person want to die of suicide nothing can stop him/her Once a person has been suicidal he/she is never out of danger

Another Myth Current national suicide prevention efforts work Resources have not been focused on high risk groups The new national strategy emphasizes that “much of the work of suicide prevention must occur at the community level where human relationships breath life into public policy”

Main Risk Factors of Suicide Substance Abuse Break up of the family Depression Feelings of insecurity Illness Broken love affairs Economic conditions – poverty or wealth

Why Are They Thinking Suicide ? Relief from problems End of a burden Solution to problems Revenge

How to Recognize A Potential Suicide Individual Poor self concept Usually an antisocial isolate. They are introverted and become withdrawn A drastic change of behavior Usually will make open threats or lay clues for ending their life Excessive use of alcohol or other drugs Change in habits of appearance Gives away prized possessions Poor communications with family and friends A history of prior acts of suicide

What To Look For Previous Attempts Scratching or superficial cutting of the body Themes of death or depression in writing, art, talk Verbalization of intentions Recent significant loss Discord in home Sudden decline of academic performance Acute personality changes Statements like “I’d be better off dead,” “nothing matters,” “I won’t be a bother to you much longer,” etc. Feelings of hopelessness and rejection

What to Look For Actions: Giving away prized possessions Loss of interest in things once passionate about Using alcohol or other drugs Unusual or extreme behavioral changes Signs of self injury – usually cutting Impulsive and/or reckless behaviors

What to Look For Words: “I just can’t stand it anymore” “I can’t do anything right” “I won’t be a bother to you much longer” “I seem to be a pain to everyone in my life” “I have nothing to live for” “Nothing is ever going to change”

What to Look For Physical Health complaints – physical Doesn’t care about appearance anymore Trouble sleeping/eating Sexual promiscuity or loss of sex drive

What to Look For Feelings Sad Lonely Hopeless Helpless Guilty Worthless Angry Desperate

Suicide: How We Can Help Be a good listener Evaluate the individual Don’t suggest that they go and do it Accept every feeling and complaint the person expresses Don’t be afraid to ask the person directly Beware of fast recoveries Be supportive and affirmative Seek further consultation Help the person realize that a completed suicide is irreversible Remind the person that depressed feelings do pass Never leave the person alone in an acute crisis

Pathway to Help: Phase One Explore Invitations – signs of distress that invite help: Anything the person in crisis says, does or makes you feel might be an invitation Accept invitations, follow your intuition, explore the meaning of things you see and hear Ask directly, use word “suicide” Ask about prior attempts

Suicide Assessment SLAP S - How SPECIFIC is the plan L - How LETHAL is the proposed method A - Have they ACQUIRED the means or how AVAILABLE is the means P - What is the PROXIMITY of helping resources when and where the person plans to attempt

Pathways to Help Phase two: What is going on? Engage the person in conversation Get them to tell her story Hear her Support her Get her to a turning point – “I just want to feel better”

Examples of Turning Points “I just realized I don’t want to kill myself” – something is telling you to think about safety? “What else can I do” – You wish there was something else you could do? “Suicide is the only answer BUT” – have person finish statement. Ask what is making them uncertain?

Pathways to Help: Phase 3 Confirm the situation: Develop a safe plan with the person Disable plan if person has means – ask for the means Have something in place before you part Have person in crisis repeat plan

Warning!!!! In most cases, you can’t get from phase one to phase three without doing phase two!!!!!!!! Our tendency to “fix” the situation many times causes us to miss phase two.

In Review Phase one – We agree with the person in crisis that suicide is our focus Phase two – We agree that safety is our focus Phase Three – We agree that we have a safety plan in place for now.

Important Points It is not important to win an argument Look for options Give choices – empowers person Is the person safe for now????

Do’s and Don’ts Review Talking to a person in crisis Sound shocked Stress the shock on family and friends Engage in a philosophical religious debate Assume responsibility for a person’s actions

Help the Person in Crisis Think About: People: Who I respect and admire Whose life I want to follow Who need me – also possibly pet Who I need to avoid

Reality We can do everything right and still lose a person to suicide. BUT, we have to try!!!!

13 Reasons Why NOT Youtube Video – 13 Reasons Why Not project

Online Support www.ifred.org – American Association of Suicidology. www.samhsa.gov – Suicide Prevention Advocacy Network www.griefrecovery.ws – Grief Recovery Inc. – Dave Opalewski

Stop and Think ! ! ! 10 seconds for each question How did you do ? ? ? Name the 5 wealthiest people in the world Name the last 5 Heisman Trophy winners List last 5 winners of Miss America contest Name 10 people who have won Nobel prize Name last 6 Academy Award Winners for best actor and best actress Name last decade’s worth of World Series winners How did you do ? ? ?

The Point The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second rate achievers. They ARE the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Accolades and certifications are buried with their owners

Stop and Think Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one: List a few teachers who aided your journey through school Think of 5 people you enjoy spending time with Name 6 heroes whose stories have inspired you

The Lesson The people who make a difference in your life are NOT the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that most care !

Remember “We can do no great things, only small things with great love” Mother Theresa